Wednesday, December 26, 2007
There is this man in my life. He has several children. He went to work almost everyday, and he worked hard to make ends meat. He worked harder in a day, than most of us work in a month, yet he brought home less than what we make. He was a Tower in his children's lives. Strong willed and stubborn in a good way. He told you what to do and you'd better listen. I wish that I can be half the man he is. I learned a few things from him... advice and what not, that is still with me today.
As he got older he may have slowed down, but you probably wouldn't have really notice it. He did a lot of walking, because he didn't drive. He would walk over a mile everyday to get to a McDonalds to get his morning coffee, and chat with his friends. He was still strong and when his namesake died in a car crash, he pushed his emotions aside and led his family in that tragic and confusing moment.
As I got older I began to see less and less of him. only at family get togethers, and even then I didn't get to go to all of them. I was never given the date in time to request off, so I'd missed my chance to see him. Next time, it was always next time... Well Next time came tonight.
Once a physically strong man, now he has all but succumb to his age. He was once able to walk miles, and now he can't even stand. Confined to a wheelchair, this proud man sat and talked with my brother and I about how he used to save every penny and put it in the bank, and how it was all taken from him by the government, for whatever reason. My brother and I think it was for his medical expenses...
Anyways even though he is in a wheelchair, and even though he has cushions on either side of his bed to protect him from a fall, my Granddad is still able to check out women and make us laugh in the process. You go Granddad! The next time I see him, I'm going to thank him and tell him how I feel, because the today was the first time I saw him, and I was kind of taken by surprise. Life is so fragile!
Monday, December 17, 2007
(Warning: I take no responsibility for the things I may type here, as they may make no sense, seeing how I haven't been sleeping well.)
1. When was the last time you had a good night's rest?
Can't remember honestly, when was the last time I slept straight through the night?
2. What would you give up for your missing good night's sleep?
My Junkfood cravings and ability to taste sweets. Don't need those anyways.
3. What have you tried doing, to send yourself to Dreamland?
Lets see...Music, leaving my TV on with the timer on (sound of voices helps me sometimes), sleeping downstairs on the couch, writing a annoying quiz (like now), warm cup of milk, playing video games, riding my exercise bike, taking a sleep aid (all I get is medicine head), fluffing my pillow(s), tossing and turning.
4. Any of those "remedies actually work?
Well everything but the warm milk has helped at one time or another (the milk just gave me gas). For the most part though my body became use to those remedies and as a result I stare into the dark.
5. What is the weirdest idea you used to get to sleep?
Slept with my fan on during the winter. (counter productive when your nose is congested)
6. What do you think is the reason you can't sleep?
At first I thought it was because of my weight (still think thats a possibility), but I think it may be, because I have a stuffy and runny nose (snot factory is in business). Then there is my sore throat. Loneliness... Maybe its just a host of things.
7. Any adverse effects?
Sometimes I start laughing for absolutely no reason. (don't really think thats bad though do you???)
8. Ever been so tired it affected your motor functions?
Yeah, and I bet a police officer would mistakenly give me a field sobriety test. I can't count how many times I've tripped up my steps.
9. Mood Swings?
The Grinch has nothing on me.
10. Is your insomnia affecting others in your household?
I'll find out and get back to you tomorrow.
11. Is your insomnia affecting you at work?
Yeah, at one point I went behind the bottle machines and just closed my eyes for a few minutes.
12. Anything productive come from your lack of sleep.
Once and awhile I may get up and go on a cleaning frenzy.
13. Ever fell asleep at the wheel?
No, and fortunately for the commuters out there I don't have a car.
14. I'm so tired I....
Could hit myself upside the head with a sledgehammer.
15. Do you have any sleeping tips.
Yeah, don't ever drink before bed! You may end up waking up because you have to go potty. (LOL)
I tag no one, but I am curious. Maybe I should tag someone... Everyone... Nah! Anyone that does this. Post the link in my comments section of this post. so I can take a look.
Friday, December 07, 2007
She then tells me that she doesn't have any extra money and she thinks she knows why. She tells me that she wasn't supposed to get a $335 money order, but instead a $325 one. Add this to the fact that I have a long freaking line behind her of people that also want help. It made me feel so anxious, because I was alone in this endeavor and there was no one else there who could help me. Because of my anxiety I didn't hear her say $325, for some reason I heard $330. So I wrung her up for the $330 money order and cashed the $335 money order as a check. When I realized what I had done, I was so pissed at myself and at her, but I stayed calm and I fix it. Well actually I can't say I stayed calm, because I ended up counting my drawer to make sure everything was fine. I kept messing up my count. By the time it was over a few customers had left out of frustration. I can't say that I blame them.
There are some days where I want to just quit this job. I just feel like I can't do customer service anymore. I lost the happiness I felt somewhere in the ten years I've been their. I want to try something else, but I don't know what.
I found out that my nephew has learned a new trick. I was tired one night, and I just wanted to go home and unwind before bed. When I finally arrive home from work, my nephew runs up to me and says, "Hi Charles"... I think thats just about all he says to me right now... "Hi Charles...Charles this and Charles that Charles, Charles Charles. LOL
Anyways as I was saying, he said hi, and I said hi to him, and picked him up for a moment. I don't know if I ever said this, but Jalani likes magnets. Just about every time he sees me, he wants me to take him to the fridge, and hold him while he plays with them. I wasn't really in the mood that night. My back was killing me, so I told him I can't hold him much longer. I put him down and wave bye (Bye Charles). I go upstairs and change into my night clothes and then come back downstairs and sneak and get my dinner. Jalani must have noticed me, because a few minutes later he revealed his new ability. The little brat opened my door and climbed up my stairs. Then this little boy (nephew, what nephew LMAO) must have asked me a ton of questions while pointing.
I was borderline crazy at this point, and when I realized that I wasn't going to enjoy my Die Hard movie, I gave in and answered his questions and gave him the attention he so craved. Thank goodness his mom called my phone a few minutes later to bring him downstairs. Unfortunately though when I turned to answer my phone, my nephew turned his attention on the pail of water I was using to soak my feet. He is such a handful, I wanted to pull my hair out...If I had some.
A few days ago, as I walked to work, I came upon a little mound of snow on the sidewalk. I guess it had got there from a plow that must have drove out onto the street (I dunno). Anyways, I was in a good mood (come to think of it, this may have been Wednesday the same day as the money order debacle), and for some reason I had this... Ahhh ...temptation. There was this tiny hill of snow, and I have legs... So I um... jumped over it. Not realizing that I had just gotten over some serious back pain. I felt fine afterwards, but then I realized that maybe I shouldn't have done it. I still smiled though. It was great feeling like a kid again. Only problem is I don't know kids who have back problems. Some of the discomfort came back as my shift at work was coming to a close, but this pain wasn't as bad as before. If I measured that pain using my right foot as a "scale", the pain I was feeling was naught (kind of like a bug landing on your arm...annoying). That night walking back I payed for it a little, but I didn't have no regrets. Jumping over that hill like I did when I was a kid made me happy, and brought back some nice memories. So I guess in the end thats all that matters. In fact I wanted to jump over it again as I was walking home, but I didn't take that chance
Sunday, December 02, 2007
A word you don't here much today. If someone were to find an Ipod inside a public place, do you really think they are going to give to lost and found. Heck, nowadays you can't even come forward and reveal a murderer without the threat of becoming a victim yourself. Their always seem to be a catch. In my past I admit there were times where I've been dishonest, I think I've punished myself more than anyone else would if they had the chance though. I'd like to think I've learned lessons over the years, but not everyone learns from the error of their ways.
A couple of weeks ago (a lot happened then). I had a young girl come up to the desk. Behind her was her grandmother (at least I think it was her). She tells the child to go ahead. I ask, "Can I help you", and the little girl proceeds to say that, "this was left in a cart". The little girl hands me a wallet bulging with money. I mean it this thing look like it could rival a quarter pounder with cheese, that wallet was so fat. I take it, and thank the girl for her honesty. She smiles and walk away, and I felt really proud of her. You'd think that would have been the end of that, but Noooooo!
I call the manager on duty and tell him about the wallet. I leave a note in the office with the wallet stating that there wasn't any ID. I tell the person in charge of the front end about the wallet just in case the owner comes back when I leave and that its locked up until the next morning.
After that was all said and done and my shift was over I went shopping for dinner that night. When I come to the front end to check out, I notice the grandmother of the child and another woman asking the front end runner a question. After he answered her and wrote something on a piece of paper I went over and asked him a few questions myself.
It turns out that the grandmother had an ulterior motive. She wanted to claim the money herself if the wallet wasn't ever claimed. When I heard this I thought to myself, "Is there nothing sacred anymore". Here I was praising these people for doing the right thing, and all they were really thinking about was getting the money back for themselves. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that they turned the wallet in, but if you seen how determined they were to get there info written down to claim that money, you'd probably feel the same way as I do. They weren't going to ever get that money to be honest. Even so, it's a good thing the rightful owner did come and claim what was his.
What ever happened to just doing the right thing?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Let me explain...
A little over two weeks ago, I woke up on Sunday morning to a very stiff neck. I couldn't move without agonizing pain. I tried loosening up my neck by moving my head in a counter or clockwise motions. None of this was working, so I went and bought some of those one time use heating pads for the neck. It soothe my neck when it wasn't falling off, but by the next day it was still hurting as much as it did before. Then I tried Icy Hot and eventually analgesic cream, those really didn't work either. Finally I went and bought a thinner pillow. It seemed like it was working, because I was finally able to sleep but then...
The Traveling Began!
Within the first week, I started feeling pain in my upper spine, where my neck ends and my back begins. I was able to move my neck a heck of a lot better, but now I couldn't toss the plastic bags full of plastic bottles. That went on for the rest of the week, until I changed my matress over.
Then the pain traveled to my upper back. It wasn't my spine anymore, now it was the muscles in my back. It hurt so much that any and every movement I made (getting out of bed, walking, standing, working) Hurt like hell!
Then the pain moved to my lower back. I couldn't take it anymore. I'm not a big fan of drugs, but I gave in and popped some pills (three at a time to be exact). I even bought some of those one time use heating pads for my lower back.
Then Finally it hit my left foot. (I don't want to even talk about my groin) Lets just say there is a muscle or something that connects your foot to your ____ area.
Nothing, and I mean nothing seem to work. I spent a ton of money on these relievers and pillow.
$6.99 (times 2)for the heating pads
$6.00 for the aspirin
$21.00 for the pillow for neck and back pain (well actually its supposed to help keep your spine aligned)
$6.00 for the icy hot
I already had the analgesic cream for my right foot (I have to get some more though)
All of that and nothing really worked. All it really took was $16.00 pair of insoles from Dr. Scholls, that are made for back pain. They work pretty good I have to admit. But the pain is still there. On the left side of my spine affecting my foot and lower back, and my neck a little. I think Chelle is right. She told me that it might be one of my vertebrae. I'm beginning to think she's right, because ground zero is in the area of my spine.
If you are wondering why I'm posting this, its because this is the reason I haven't read or posted any entries in two weeks. Sitting down in this chair was even painful. I mostly lied in my bed on my side when I was awake, which was a lot. Didn't sleep much during those two weeks. I think I may have to reluctantly go see a doctor.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Where does O Belong?
OK, now where does 0 belong?
Can you even tell the difference between the two.
One of them is the Letter o.
The other is the Number Zero.
Ever since I have been working up at the desk at my job, I have been playing Lottery for the customers at their request, but sometimes some of the things they say bother me.
Lets place you in my shoes for the moment (size 12, ugly feet). Lets Say someone (I dunno... S. Gambler) wants to play the New York State Lottery Game called Numbers (There's a similar game called with four numbers called Win-4 also). Everything is going fine until they want to play a number with a zero in it.
However S. Gambler doesn't say two-four-zero (well they get the 2 and the 4 right), He says two-four-O (oh).
How would you respond to that?
Well I didn't respond at all really. My first year at the desk, a customer walks in and ask to get some Numbers. I go to help him, but its very noisy in and around the service desk area. He asks for a number with a zero in it, but instead he says the letter O, instead of zero. I didn't hear him clearly so I ask --zero. He responds by saying, "NO I said --O. In my head I'm saying OK, its the same difference, I just said the correct way. He didn't have to yell at me, It's not like I was trying to correct him. We just say it differently.
Fast forward to six years later. Last week I picked up the phone and answered it. Someone wanted to speak to an employee in the bakery department. I park the call, and page the bakery. For some reason I noticed what I was saying. "Bakery Please take the call holding on line 8 oh 1, bakery line 8 oh 1".
Dammit, they've gotten to me! I've been assimilated!
When I page someone or a department there is always a number in there. The phone calls are parked in the 800's, and when we need someone to call our department its 24oh (d'oh).
I've been trying to stop this, but I can't. The letter O has taken over my zero. I cannot resist! My zero is being held captive by all of the letter O's that have been place with in a number, which I have heard these past 6 Years (sob). I've been told that I am stubborn and that I always do my own thing. I guess, that's not always the case.
Man have we gotten so lazy that we can't say the extra syllable. Zero...see how easy that was.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
4 Jobs I've Had
-Summer School Job learning how to cook, and learning about sanitary conditions in cooking environment. (quit the first week though)
-Firefighter Intern Program
-Clerk at Grocery Chain
-Clerk at Grocery Chain (fired then re-hired)
4 Movies I can watch over and over
-Star Trek: First Contact
-Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
-Resident Evil: Apocalypse
4 Places I've lived
-Rome, New York
-Rochester, New York
-Charlotte, North Carolina
-Rochester, New York
4 TV shows I loved to Watch
-Lost (damn whomever it was who had the bright idea to start the rest of the seasons in January)
4 places I've been to on Vacation
-North Carolina (Family Reunion)
-Alabama (Don't remember though...Very young at the time)
4 websites I visit daily
-www.afterworld.tv (check it out you might like it)
-www.aol.com (email addict)
-www.youtube.com (more specifically http://youtube.com/user/ItsJustSomeRandomGuy)
4 favorite dishes
-Aunt Cyndi's Pancakes
-Mom's Thanksgiving (can't wait)
-Imitation Crab salad (hey I'm simple)
4 places I'd rather be right now
-In a woman's arms (who's that's my secret)
-Someplace with some nice scenery
-Visiting my Granddad (I really really need to see him)
-In a car driving No where, with nobodies thoughts but my own.
4 People I'm Tagging
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
A few weeks back I think I got a lesson in life. You know the one about All Good Things. Well If you didn't know already, they come to an end. When I was a little boy there was this place that my mom and I used to frequent. It was a fun place, especially during the month of December. If we weren't at my grandfather's house we'd almost certainly be there. Were is this place? It is in downtown Rochester, and its called Midtown Plaza.
I have so many memories their. Chasing my cousin James when I shouldn't have, walking around inside looking at all the stores and the things I wanted (mom could I get some candy). I even remember stopping at Wendy's to get a bag of small fries... I love Wendy's fries.
What I remember the most was sitting on Santa Claus' lap for the first time. Every year they had Santa come and visit. Just to the side of the escalators, they had a beautiful Christmas set up and had a throne for Santa to sit in. We also got to take pictures with him if our parents payed up. There was one thing I never got to do during the holiday season as a child though. I never got to ride in the monorail.
Besides the monorail there was another Staple inside the mall. Probably the most popular thing inside the mall itself. Its called the "Clock Of Nations". Its a big clock with twelve cylinders that have little dolls in them representing twelve nations.
I used to look at the clock a lot when I was a kid. Not so much so when I became a teen. I would look at it here and there. Now I'm going to miss that clock. I guess I never thought that the mall would be demolished. Boy did I get a wake up call. I woke up one morning and heard it on the news. I guess you could say my jaw dropped to the floor, at least that is what it felt like. So many memories flooded into my mind. In fact that same day, I rushed downtown to take these pictures. Why... Because it was the only ways I could grieve for the upcoming loss. The only way I could express myself.
Three of my favorite stores used to be inside of Midtown Plaza.
Jeans West was a clothing store. I used to get most of my clothes from there. In fact that Results shirt that I wrote about in a previous post was bought from there. I think that is why I can't let go of that shirt.
Then there was a store called "All Day Sunday". This store had it all. Artwork, Jewelry, clothes...they had it all. I'm not into jewelry so I used to go there because the embroidered clothes. I had one shirt done and a hat. Don't ask me what the shirt said, cause I don't remember. I do remember the hat though, because It was my favorite. It was a red hat with the name Chaz embroidered on it in black letters.
Finally there was Record Theater (the last of my favorites to leave Midtown). I went there to buy all of my music unless they didn't have. If that was the case I would cross the street and go to Record Town (also out of business), which used to be next door to McDonald's (can you say out of business...can you see a pattern here).
I even liked shopping in the Wegman's grocery store with my mom, that is when it used to be there. They closed there doors within the mall too.
Business are always closing there doors. Want to move on to something BIGGER. Bigger isn't always better. There are some people that feel uncomfortable inside those big, huge Superstores that they are building nowadays. Some of us hate giant crowds and long lines. But I guess doesn't matter anymore, because customers are nothing more than $$$. Mass Quantity over Quality isn't necessarily better. One of the first malls ever built...Such a shame.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
I hadn't realized that I had been a no show for more than two weeks. This is the longest ever. Well chalk it up to work. I worked seven days in a row. The last thing I felt like doing was blogging. I was online but not as much as normal. By the sixth day I was exhausted. I felt like I was there (at work), but not there. Clearly I was at work, but I felt like I (my soul, my spirit...whatever you want to call it) was being pulled at from something, somewhere else. I know I know it sounds weird, but its how I felt. Heck, I'm still feeling drained.
The only reason I even did this post is because I had to set up my Fantasy Football teams and picks this week, and for some reason I remembered I had a blog and I came to check it. I could say I have neglected it, but my body, my will, my motivation were almost depleted, so I had to give some things up for a bit. This was one of them. I also gave up video games and television. I didn't hardly watch any TV last week. I even dozed off during the four o'clock football game last week (who was playing?).
I got some posts on my mind, I am just going to find the strength. I have to work tonight and tomorrow morning, so I will be a no show Sunday and possibly Monday. Tuesday I'm all yours though. (LOL) Plus I have next Friday (11/2), Saturday (11/3), and Sunday (11/4) off, so I will be looking forward to my first full weekend off since June. Looking forward to Body and Soul!
Friday, October 12, 2007
1. I finally don't have to worry about Job Security. A new owner is in town and hopefully things will be on the bright side from now on. However I am still looking for another job though.
2. What the hell is wrong with these drug makers. Their recalling infant medication because of the danger of overdosing a child. I heard on the news that the medicines may not even work for the children in the first place....Can you say Placebo!
3. I have been thinking a lot about work lately. Not just because of the possibility of being let go, but because of my flexible schedule. It gets in the way of living and being with family, and that is hurting me now more than ever!
4. What happen to my Bills? They had the lead for most of the game against the Cowboys and blew it. I don't blame the players though, I blame the coach. The last thing you do is call a passing play (interception) in the fourth quarter when your in field goal range with the lead and time in your favor.
5. Phones are like computers they seem to become obsolete on the same day they are released. I got a letter in the mail from Sprint telling me that soon my phone will no longer be able to roam on certain third party analog networks, because they are going digital.
6. I don't use the roaming feature anyways because I would have to pay for it, so I guess I could care less.
7. Speaking of digital I am aware of how television will be going digital (2009) as well, and that there won't be any analog television anymore (can you say HDTV). What I don't understand is why haven't anyone in the media started telling people. Television is an important and Powerful recreational tool, so I'm kind of surprised that I haven't heard any notice/reminders.
8. Is it me or does it seem like there are too many kids out there murdering people (or attempting to) either because they want to take something that doesn't belong to them, or because they feel as if they are being wronged. It makes me feel unsafe to walk home now. I always have to look over my shoulder.
9. I have a new blog linked in my sidebar. I don't remember how I came across Trish's blog Incoherent~ish, but I'm glad I did. (LOL) she got me hooked when I read her post on the male version of PMS which she calls OMFWDYGACABSAB. She wants me to warn everyone that she is Politically Incorrect. Trish I think that most of the people who read my blog are too!
10. I also have a new website linked. Its called Afterworld. Its a 130 episode CGI series, with each episode roughly about three minutes long. It's about a character Russell Shoemaker who wakes up in a hotel room in New York and finds out that 99.9% of mankind have vanished. He tries to get home to his family to see if they are still alive, while helping others along the way.
11. My nephew is so smart. Now if only I could understand what he says a little better. There is this music video with Elmo and Chris Brown on youtube called, "See the signs". Jalani really likes it. I think I've watched it with him 10 times. Now he likes Chris Brown's music. To be more specific, a song called, "Kiss Kiss". You should hear him when he says it, he sounds so cute!
12. I've been thinking about the cycle of life. I grew up and I never really thought about how my mom, dad, aunts, uncles, and grandparents thought of me. Now here I am watching my nephew grow up, and I am happy. Here is this intelligent, happy, innocent life dancing, learning and making a difference in my life. I see what they saw, now in my nephew. What a cycle!
13. I thought summer would never end. I suffered all summer long in that heat, now it has officially ended because no more 80 or 90 degree weather is in the foreseeable future. It just ended for us last week. Now I just have to get fall and winter coats.
14. I miss Stephaine! She hasn't blogged since September 22, 2006. Ironically her last post was a tag from me. I missed her take on life and crush on Tom Brady, and her happenings at work. I wish she would come back. Its been more than a year now. I hope everything is alright.
15. "Sitting home waiting for you, cause staring at these walls is all I do. I tried my best to be good to you, but your never around when I'm in the mood."
16. I have two free movie passes for being the employee of the week and no one wants to go to the movies with me, cause they are all to busy.
17. Chelle I went and bought Tiger Balm. I put it on my feet for work, and I ended up smelling like it all day. LMAO
18. Our cat Jet has issues. When ever you pet him, he straightens out and hardens his tail and points it toward the front of his head like he is having an erection or something. It's weird, very weird!
19. While I was reading a post on Emily's blog about her trip to the dentist, I noticed that she had a Bill Cosby video from Youtube in the post. When I watched it I realized that I heard it before. My step-mom dubbed a tape that she had of his act and she gave it to me. Every time I'd listen to it I crack up. My cassette player ended up eating the tape though.
20. You know its true what they say about rain...When all of your old injuries start to ache, you know that rain is around the corner, and MAN, I'm aching right now, and have been for these last few days.
It wasn't as fast I thought but the thoughts eventually did come to mind faster as I got rolling. Anyone wants to give it a shot knock yourself out.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
I told her that I have never did a blog post without at least a paragraph. Honestly though, I didn't think I could come up with a good enough description. I thought about it and Now I think I have found one.
Been wondering If I am any good as of late. Long story!
I challenge anyone reading this post to do the same. post it on your blog and leave the link on Jodi's blog because she is the one I got this from.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
For example during the 60's and 70's were Afros and bell-bottoms. During the 80's there was the jheri curl, and during the 90's there were box cuts, and hair cuts done by placing a bowl on ones head. I really don't know what the fad of 2000's is, maybe its the cellphone...I don't know. I do know that we laugh at them when we look back at those fads and think to ourselves, "What were we thinking"?
The Jheri curl is probably why I am losing my hair (all of those chemicals...No more Jheri curl juice).
Anyways there is one fad that I haven't mentioned that leaves me perplexed. I was walking to work last Tuesday, and when I got to the first crosswalk I had to cross I noticed it. I never really cared about it until a teenage boy started crossing the street to the left of me. He was less than halfway across the street when the light began to change in my favor. As this was happening he started trying to run.
Key word here is TRYING!
Because he was mostly concentrating on keeping his pants up instead of worrying about getting hit by a car...Why
Because he was Sagging! (And here we are worry about people texting while driving) LOL
I never understood why someone would want to where there pants slightly below their waist, or in some cases maybe even lower. It completely baffles my mind, I mean what if you have streaks in your underwear of something?
Seriously I ask myself what is the point? What statement is being made here? Are they trying to see how low there pants can go without falling? Are they trying to share what kind of underwear they like to wear? Are trying to defy society? Or are they trying to tell all the girls out there that they are ready to drop there pants at the drop of a hat?
There is little that can be done about it, I guess! Maybe the G'ment should make it illegal. You know file it under indecent exposure or something like that, because if I don't want to see sagging boobs, then I definitely don't want to see sagging pants...Besides its not safe you could get hit by a car. LMAO
PUT ON A BELT!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Listen to what Haseo (guy in the black and red) is saying. But I also recommend watching the whole thing if you want to get a chuckle, and maybe watching the other 3 on youtube because there hilarious. For the record Atoli (the girl in green) is a healer so she doesn't have any strong attacks hence the title of the parody "Stick To Healing".
People have really been getting on my nerves (customer's and employees alike). So I have been acting two faced like Haseo during his "forked tongue", "Terror Of Death days".
For example, I'm walking from an aisle from getting a price check. One of my co-workers asks me to get his cousin at register three and ask him to stop over in his department and see him. I ask him who is his cousin, I mean I was really willing to tell his cousin to go and see him. But I HAVE NO IDEA who his cousin is, and I am trying to get him to tell me this (give me a description!!!). Finally he says never mind and I'm like Okay, and turn away. As I am doing this I think to myself "How the F#%& am I supposed to tell your cousin to COME HEAR if I don't know who the HELL he is". It's just Irritating!
Then there is the customer that comes in regularly to bring in bottles for the five cent deposit. He puts up some of his bottles, and then he stops and ask for his bottle script. He still has more bottles in his cart. I ask him if he is going to put the rest of his bottles up. He tells me that they are separate. I say okay, but inside I'm rolling my eyes and saying every four letter word I can think of.
I'm not feeling very nice right now, in fact can someone tell me what genuine feelings really feel like. This may sound strange, but when I was a kid, for some reason I gave my evil side a name. It was a very unusual name now that I think about it. I named it Old Man. I can't for the life of me figure out why. I'm changing its name. Now my the other side of my two sided coin will be forever known as the "Terror Of Death". And right now that side of the coin is facing up!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
If someone says they will do something for you, and they don't follow through, should this fall under the "Broken Promise" category?
Hi my name is Charles and I have a few Questions for you actually.
If someone says they will do something for you and they don't follow through, or call you to let you know the reason, does this fall under the "Broken Promise" category?
If someone didn't mention the word promise, but said they would do something for you does that fall into the promise category?
Last week, I was walking home one night from work, and a former co-worker who lives down the street from me stopped me. I considered her a friend, so when she wanted to chat, I was all for the conversation. She invited me on her porch and we talked. She asked me to come and play cards with her and some of her friends on Friday, and go bowling on Saturday. I eventually said yeah, and gave her my phone number, and she said she would call me on Friday.
Its sad when a person doesn't get there hopes up when someone says that they are gonna do something for someone. I didn't hold my breath as I was walking home. I knew already that I wasn't on her list of top friends (everyone has a list like that including me...its all about bonding).
Friday came along and I was sitting by the phone waiting for the call expecting it not to ring (does anyone see anything wrong here). 9:00pm I was still in my "I'm not going anywhere today anyways" clothes. By 10pm I put on my sweats (pajamas), and when 11pm came along I was fussing as if I was surprised that she didn't call. I wasn't surprised, I guess I just wanted to vent, because someone let me down (again). Everyone in my life often wonder why I'm so distant, I hope this helps to answer some of there questions.
When I say I'm going to do something for someone, I do it. If something comes up, and I'm unable to, I call and let the person or persons know that I'm sorry and I am unable to follow through, and perhaps I we can chill or whatever it may be, some other time.
The words Broken Promises keep fluttering around my Dome like butterflies made of glass Shards. This just makes me want to be even more distant when I don't want to be.
I have so many excuses and doubts running through my mind.
Maybe she forgot
Maybe she doesn't care
Maybe she forgot (cause she smokes weed)
Maybe its because we live in two different worlds like oil and water
Maybe she doesn't like me
Nobody likes me
I just feel I shouldn't even bother trying to put in the effort if I am going to be stood up and then dropped, and have my emotions fractured into a million pieces. Haven't my emotions been fractured enough in my life. It feels that way, like I've had lifetime of broken hearts. Way to many for someone at my age. I'm surprised Its still beating. I don't think I have the strength to open up to anyone else. It's so much easier on me to just keep everyone at arms length. It hurts a lot less! Though It still HURTS!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Motivation I need motivation people.
Or maybe I just need to get laid.
In any case I hope to find one or both and I hope that they are both good!
I have plenty to talk about but I guess I could say I have been a little distracted. That and I was kind of reading a book. Really getting into reading now. I ordered two books last week.
"The World Without Us", by Alan Weisman, and Next by the master of screenplay books Michael Crichton.
I think The World Without Us seems like a more interesting book, because its one of those theory books. It asks the question, What if Humanity just vanished off the face of the Earth (Poof). What would happen to the Earth, our homes, buildings, art, Porto-Potties...stuff like that. When I heard about the book on the today show, the concept just grabbed my attention. So if I don't post again this week, it will be because I either hanged myself in a porto-potty or I am reading a book. Either way...
But I think there is 85% chance I will post again, cause I have some things I want to say and post.
Until my next post then!
Monday, September 03, 2007
I haven't the slightest reason why I decided to read something different. Maybe it was the boredom of the same ole same ole, or maybe my age is catching up to me (Who knows). I ended up picking up the local and state section(s) of the paper. I looked in the left column of the state portion of the paper, where all of the short but sweet stories are. There I saw a very humorous article. It was about a man who robbed another man of four dollars. What made it strange was that he only wanted the four dollars. For some stupid reason I sent the clipping in without copying it so I can't show you what I saw. However I managed to find another article about it online.
This is what I read:
GREENBURGH, N.Y. (AP) - A knife-wielding robber needed only $4, so he refused to take a $10 bill from his victim and waited while the man made change at a pizza parlor, police said Tuesday.
He then took the $4 and ran off, only to be captured a few blocks away, police said.Like I said I have never sent anything in ever in my life so i'm hoping Jay will show it on his Headlines segment of the Tonight Show. I would soooo get a kick out of it! Just to see it on TV and know I sent it in would make me happy. I'm a big fan of the show and I watch it almost every night to see Jay's Monologue. I will be so sad when Jay Leno leaves the Tonight Show. I like Conan O'Brien, but Jay is funnier to me.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
sqUEEZing every last drop
of sunshine out of Summer
I know for sure that I didn't squeeze every last drop of sunshine out of summer. In fact I think that the clouds were absorbing my sunshine. Turning the rays into raindrops. I love raindrops, but not the ones that were falling onto me. they were dark and dank. Every time one would hit me I felt I lost a bit of myself.
The clouds were overwhelming and the sky above my sanity seemed to sink. I was ready to give in when I heard a familiar sound. Fitting the title of the ringtone is called, "All I Got", because I was at the end of the rope and all I got left before I fell into a void was a tiny string. When I answered my phone a cloud simply vanished. It was my friend, she wanted to know if I wanted to come over and spend some time with her. At first the clouds clouded my judgment, making me think that if I was to go and visit my friend, that I would rain on her parade. I didn't answer her question on the first call, but hearing her voice made a few of the clouds vanish and the sun peer out. I don't think she has the faintest idea how much it meant to me that she called, when she did.
After we were done and we said goodbye, the clouds reformed where those patches of sunlight had appeared. I felt like I was going to scream, until realized the error of my ways. I picked up my phone and called my friend back. I asked her if her offer still stands and she said yes, so I headed out. As soon as I stepped outside the REAL sunshine shined down on me and sun-washed those figurative clouds away. When I got to her house we chatted about nothing and such, but it was just mostly being there with her that made me feel an aura of bliss.
When it was time to go she gave me a hug and I walked to the bus-stop. I don't remember much about getting on that bus, but when I got on the second bus I remember looking at the sun as it was starting to set. It became orange and beautiful, and I thought to myself, "I haven't really been looking up lately, but I'm glad I did today"!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
This time around (Monday), I was on my way to work. I hadn't left my street yet, and I while I was walking I was trying to play a song on my MP3 player. I wasn't paying much attention to what was in front of me so, I didn't notice that a squirrel lost his nut. At least that's what I think was inside of that green thing that looked more like a green golf ball. When I stepped on it with my left foot, the left side of my foot touched the ground while the right side was facing up. Can you say ouch as loud as you possibly can, while mixing some four letter words in there. Oddly enough though I didn't let the pain stop me. I still ended up walking to work. While walking the pain slowly, but surely went away. I even worked my seven hour shift with little or no discomfort. It was as if I willed it away or something. After my shift was over though, the pain slowly returned. When I started walking home I could barely walk on my foot.
Tuesday, I walked up to the Eckerd around the corner from my house to get an ace bandage and some Aleeve. Lets just say that was an adventure. It took about 20 minutes to get there. Normally its a five minute walk there and five minutes back. Since McDonald's is across the street from Eckerd (soon to be Rite-Aid) I decided to stop there and got breakfast. By the time I got back home, my ankle was in worse condition than it was in before. I ended up taking the bus to work, even if I ended up an hour early. Standing was torture, I don't know how I even made it through the day, considering my other ankle is pretty bad too. Sometimes you just can't call in though, there wasn't anyone who could cover me. I got through the week, but my ankle is still bothering me. I'm gonna soak it after my day is finished.
Update: Couldn't sleep so I came back to make corrections to this post. I knew it would need some considering I have a metaphoric gun to my head. My sister was standing in back of me wanting to use the computer that she abandoned earlier. I took over it, but I ended up hurrying my typing so she would stop staring a hole through my skull. Why I put 2006 I have no idea. I first sprained my left ankle in 1996, the year Independence Day (a couple of days before) was released.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
It's weird, because a couple of Saturdays back I was watching Power Rangers: Operation Overdrive (the newest version of Power Rangers). Yeah I watch Power Rangers...You got a problem with that? LOL...I have been watching it since I was sixteen. Anyways, I watched the episode where the newest rangers (overdrive) lost there powers. So the Sentinel Knight recruit five former Rangers and restore there powers. As they were revealing who the previous rangers are, I was watching. And as I was watching, I was listening. While I was listening, I heard a familiar voice. When I heard this voice, in an instant, I said to myself, "That voice sounds so familiar". The second Black Ranger ever in the Power Rangers series' name is Adam Park, which is portrayed by Johnny Yong Bosch. When they powered down and I saw his face, I was sure that I have heard his voice, but the face wasn't as familiar. So I later on I decided to log online to do a little research, and it hit me.
Everyone that read this knows I love video games. One of the video games that I am playing now is one of my favorites. In this video game there is a cast of character's with some unique voices. One of the unique voices is spoken for the character Kuhn (The Propagation). The person behind the voice of Kuhn is Johnny Yong Bosch. Like I said his voice is unique, if you voice with the face, you probably wouldn't believe it was him.
Ironically .Hack//G.U. has been compared to the Power Rangers.
I love memories, the good ones anyways.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Normally I watch the news for the weather report on the news, or get the info online, so I know what to be ready for. Tuesday was no different. I read the report on line, and it said that it was likely to be rain. It didn't say 50% chance, it said likely, so I took my umbrella. I got nearly halfway to work (past the TV station is about halfway from my house), when it started raining. It was a steady rain at first so I kept my umbrella down, and then...
Now I like the rain, and sometimes I walk in it with my umbrella down. Sometimes though, Mother Earth can act big and bad, and give you too much of a good thing (Like an Overdose). I know there is such a thing as water poisoning. You know when you drink to much water. What happened next had me thinking what would happen if I got too much water on my body.
Then the rain it started falling diagonally...Almost sideways. I put my umbrella up just in time. Just in time to protect my head and chest, because nothing else was safe from the torrential torment that kept falling...crashing down to Earth. The lower part of my shirt got wet, but my pants were even worse. At first it got my backside. I had my MP3 player in my back pocket, so I had take that out and carry it in my hands along with my shirt. Then when I turned the corner the rain was falling toward the right side of my body. So then I had to take my cellphone out of my pocket and carry it along with my work shirt, my MP3 and my umbrella. It was tricky because I had to use both hands to hold on to everything, while keeping the upper part of my body dry.
My sneakers weren't even safe. The water got in them, and I ended up slushing (I was Jelling) the rest of the day. There in the garbage now, because there very smelly. The right sneaker was soaked more, because it had a hole at the top of it. Thats alright though, I was going to throw them out anyways when I buy a new pair Friday.
I couldn't even sit down before my shift started, because my butt was wet. Heck my crotch was wet too. You know how when you were a kid and you wet yourself (not that I ever peed in the bed), and your parents told you to go take a bath. So then you start walking and you feel uncomfortable, because your pajamas are wet, which in turn makes you start walking funny? Yeah well that is how I felt!
You'd think after that overdose of rain, I wouldn't want anything to drink, but I got a ice tea and gulped it down. Then I went up to the desk and complained about how cold it was. I was the only one who was cold...Hmmm I wonder why.
Boss Lady suggested that I use our little radiator that has a blower on it, to dry off. So I gave it a shot, so at least I could try and dry my crotch area when I didn't get any customers. The problem is I did have customers. By the time I would get a chance to go back and turn the radiator on, a customer would walk up to the desk. So I would have to put the damn thing down and then step out of the office, and help someone. It got so repetitive that I thought I was doing an impersonation of Homer Simpson when he said "Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up, bed go down".
Heater goes up, heater goes down.
Thats not even the worse part. I was worried someone might see me on camera and think I was playing with myself or something. So I called it quits and just slushed my way out onto the desk and endured the wetness for the rest of the night. At least I know what I get when I get drenched...A cold!
Saturday, August 04, 2007
At first when I watched the news, I thought it was intriguing because someone locally owned this website (ebaumsworld), and they sold it for over 50 million dollars. So I went there and took a look around. Looks good...videos, pictures, jokes...etc. When I looked at this one particular picture (solar Power) of four black kids toting around a stereo with one kid holding what is supposed to be a "solar panel".
That however isn't what made me upset. It's the comments below it that has me fuming. People joking about our skin color, calling us slurs...laughing it up. I'm all for freedom of speech, but this is...its just wrong.
I don't know what else to say...
How many times can I say how sad, how angry, how disappointed I feel. Other than the color of my skin, what did I do to make someone hate me. What will it take to make them accept me for who I am. I couldn't sleep the night I read those comments. It would have been worse if someone didn't actually stand up and voice their opinion to the contrary of what was said.
How can we search for intelligent life on other planets when we all can't get along here?
If your wondering why I didn't link the site to this post, its because I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
When I get customers writing in cursive, it gives me a headache. People actually expect you to make out what they have written. Handwriting is like snowflakes, no two are the same. Yet i'm expected to be a expert in writing.
"Umm, is that a N or an R".
"Is my handwriting that bad"?
"No its good, I just couldn't tell the difference, because you wrote it in cursive you idiot"
I think just about every application we have, just about every payment slip, or money transfer form has two of the most obvious words (isn't it obvious that everyone's handwriting can't be read, no matter how neat it is.)
How hard can it be? Don't tell me that people's brains are on auto-pilot when they are writing? C'mon its in both parties interests if everyone prints. That way not only we as clerks don't have to keep asking a customer if this letter is a S or the number 8, but it will also save the customer a trip, and some gas. You have no idea how many times I had to ask this one young woman if I spelled a word correctly. Her handwriting was just too bubbly. Please, you don't have to be fancy.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Lets say you tell the manager on duty, and he or she decides to take disciplinary action on your fellow co-worker how would you feel? Technically this is stealing is it not? He/She didn't pay for there groceries, and they went and sat down and ate the food.
What if I told you that there was more to this story? What if I told you that this person was distracted because he/she was busy talking on the phone. Would that change anything? How would it make you feel if you were responsible for getting someone fired, because they made an honest mistake?
...I wouldn't be able to live with myself...and I would let my feelings be known.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
The theme for this month:
What is your favorite and most inspiring possession? Tell us about it, and if you want an extra creative challenge... tell us about it without naming it until the very last sentence of your essay:):):)
At first I thought this would be a toughie, so I sought advice from the one person who never steered me wrong. She told me that the possession would have to be something that I cherished the most, and that is important to me. Those words made my eyes open wide, and I realized what that possession is. Then I ran upstairs and found it, right in front of me all along.
This one's for you...my inspiration.
I get up, and the first thing I do is welcome the morning. Sometimes I welcome some days less than others. On those days, I just want to cry. That is until I see you. "When I'm low u cud ask me 2 smile and I'd do so". You give me the strength, courage, and wisdom to get through a tough day, yet remind me to take a little time and enjoy the weather. You take my hand...assuring me that everything is OK, and within a snap of my finger, the pain is gone, and in turn makes my wound heal over. There are times when I feel like I don't deserved to be happy. And then out of the blue you remind me that I'm lucky to be me, and that someday I will find that special someone.
All I have to do is believe In love.
Nighttime encroaches, and in the darkness I lay. You tell me that like a star in the sky, my heart shines, the first star I see tonight. I make a wish that somehow, that we never part ways. didja know that you are important to me, that you begin and you end my day...my collection of music.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
P.S I do think about and sometimes re-read my blog posts. Especially if its an angry post. So far I think that post is the only one I feel bad about.
Friday, July 20, 2007
You have been demoted because my neck is killing me. There may be a day when I will need you again, like when I get sick or I need my ankle elevated, until then...
Then I realized how desperate I've become for conversation...Because I was talking to my pillow.
I can't say with certainty that my neck is 100%, but its a heck of a lot better than it was two weeks ago. At one point I couldn't even tilt my head to the left, and even when I tried for some stupid reason (ouchie), I would cheat and raise my arm and shoulder. Eventually that got better, but then for somehow my "pain in the neck" migrated from the left to the middle. I finally countered the pain with some Icy Hot pads and defeated it for the most part. The left side of my neck is still sore, and I'm still feeling a little discomfort in the middle. One of my co-workers suggested that I go and get a massage. I'm all for that, but I'm scared that I may end up getting some guy violating me instead of a woman (stupid Seinfeld episode).
I guess I can say that I learned from my pain though. When I had that "conversation" it opened up a "can of worms" of thought (isn't a can of worms supposed to be troublesome). Well it was, I came to a realization, yet I still don't have an answer to the question.
Obviously if I was sitting there talking to my pillow before bed I have issues. I'm not the only one though, just about everyone on Earth has at least one. I on the other hand, have more than one. I think I have mentioned this before...I'm shy, so I rarely ever start a conversation. When I first got my current job, I tried my hardest to greet people. I would say hi, and my co-workers would say it back to me. Eventually though I noticed, that I was doing most of the greeting and no one would say hi to me first. I know it sounds silly, but I was deprived of attention from a one of my parents growing up. I guess you could say, that I didn't feel loved enough. I felt unwanted, so when I noticed that I wasn't being said hello to me as much as I was saying hello, I felt unwanted.
So eventually I became afraid to say hello to people again. So every time I would walk by someone, I would stare at them wanting to say hi. So I would end up with an awkward stare, as I pass them by. And each time this would happen, I felt like I lost a little bit more of my confidence.
Rewind back to two Sundays ago, I thought to myself that maybe the problem is that I don't know exactly when I should be the one to greet someone or when I should be the one who should be greeted.
For instance, lets say if I am sitting in the break room and someone walks in, who is the greeter, and who is the greetee(OK not a real word). I don't comprehend the rules of social behavior very well. I think Data was better in social gatherings than me. Anyone have some tips and advice, I am all ears. While your at it lend me some courage.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
See what happens when you experiment with technology. You get shrunk, digitized and poorly animated...LOL.
Seriously though, one day while I was surfing the net looking at info on Apples new IPhone, I discovered something interesting. Somehow I had got sidetracked because of all of the interesting new technologies on ABC news' website, and ended up watching its "site of the week" segment. I was like cool, and I went and checked it out. I kept saying that I was going to do this, but things came up, and I kept putting it off (what's new right). Well here is my gizmoz. I dare all of you to make your own. Its fun! All you have to do is take a picture of yourself, and upload it to their site. You can't smile in it though. You have to have an emotionless face. You can also use avatars that they have already made. I just think it would be a whole lot funner to see peoples faces...that is those of us who have shared there faces in the land of the blog. I wonder what everyone think of mines? Did I get the desired laughter that I was so looking for? I'm such a attention whore. (pardon my language) LOL
Saturday, July 07, 2007
I observed that people believe the majority win over minority.
Yesterday I was at a video game store to looking around to kill some time before I went to see the Transformers movie. I find something I want, but I decide not to buy it until after the movie. I come back to the EB game store and I go to buy a guidebook for a game that has been really difficult. While I am there I have a conversation with the clerk that eventually cash me out. I asked him about some games that I were looking forward too earlier and I also mentioned which gaming systems I had. Now the guidebook is all I that I want at this time, but the irritating clerk is trying to push me into reserving copies of new games that come out later on this year. At first I was thinking to myself, "be patient, he is only doing his job", but then he tried mentioning some other games, and sounded a bit frustrated. "Nah, I only want the guidebook right now". For whatever reason the annoying clerk started to get annoyed himself and said, "Nobody buys guidebooks"! I stayed calm, cool and collected, and in response I told him that I do. If I want to buy a guidebook, let me buy the freaking guidebook. When I say I don't want something else at this time, let it be the end of that. Its not the end of the world, I may come back at a later date.
I observed that business comes before customer satisfaction.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
First up, Jeff tagged me, well actually he awarded me with the
I would like to think my mom, my cousin James, my brother Jevon, and all of the little people out there...We did it. LOL
In all seriousness though, Thanks Jeff much appreciated. Being nominated and all I have nominate five blogs that make me think. Well everyone in my sidebar gets my brain juices flowing, but I will still pick five though.
The first two are MIA, but they still are worthy to tag, because they have some very good stuff in there archives that you can still Read. They are also the first two AOL Journalers that commented in.
Rebecca: Author of In The Shadow of the Iris, is a wonderful writer, and dare I say it...Poet. The first entry I ever read of hers was a Judith Heartsong Essay contest entry entitled, "Color". Awestruck with the way it was written, and (LOL) asked if there was any way I could help her to win. That's just how GREAT I thought it was. I bet if anyone was to read that post they would think the same thing.
Omar (my journal brother) is witty author of Detached and Indifferent Expressions. Omar was the first journal that I ever commented in. At first I had to look up the meanings of the words Detached and indifferent. In doing so I thought to myself that should have been the name of my blog too. He and I kind of almost have the same thought process, with the exception of OMZ being a big fan of Star Wars, and myself being a fan of Star Trek. I guess you could say that I kind of looked up to him as my "Big brother Blogger". If you want to get a laugh read his blog, it is very funny.
The next blog, has me laughing up a storm (oh my gosh you just don't know). The author of Assclownopolis is has a "Talented" sense of humor. He sees things that I could never even dream of. Although TFG I wonder if you saw today's NY post cover? It said V-D day for Paris Hilton, and the first thing I thought of was Venereal Disease Day For Paris Hilton. Serious though, TFG finds ways of making points with humor for instance.
What does the next blogger make me think of...What doesn't he? Chris the author of Inane Thoughts & Insane Ramblings, has it all in his blog. Humor, knowledge, recipes, pictures, adventures. Not only does he make me want to cook what he his cooking, but just by looking at the pictures from his family trips or his time learning martial arts makes me want to just drop everything I'm doing and just go, go, go...and give this stuff a try.
The last the last blog that makes me think is Half Full or Half Empty. And I think to myself..."Why isn't anyone reading her blog". Not only managing a baseball team for fun, but she is also playing to get into shape. She also loves animals, she just recently brought a kitten home that some jerk left in a parking lot. She really cares about the welfare of other animals, and i'm surprised that she isn't and advocate or some kind of spokeswoman for them, because she isn't afraid to say how she feels. Oh did I forget that she fishes and hunts, a woman after my heart. LOL, Now GO and read her blog.
Here are the rules of this award meme:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).
Next Meme, I was tagged by Ari, and Chris to pick Five songs that had an impact in my life. And for some reason I must also Link Holly and Loz (who are you guys...M.u.sss.t Obeeeyyyy)
First off let me say that my interpretations of these songs and the way the artist intended them to be heard aren't necessarily on the same wavelength.
I Miss You-This song was performed by a group called Klymaxx. It was written about missing a lover, but in the eyes of a ten year old it was written because he missed his dad. When I was a kid I didn't get to spend much time with my dad...For whatever reason (I dunno till this day). Whenever I would have to go back home to my mom, I would miss him so much. One night I heard this song on the radio after he dropped me off. I cried so much! "I Miss you, its so easy to see, I miss U and Me".
That's The Way of The World-This song was performed by Cathy Dennis f. D-Mob. It had an impact on my life, but not a positive one. I was depressed because my best friend had moved away. Now that I am sitting here reading the lyrics, I understand it now, but I don't think I will ever listen to that song again. I used to think about suicide 'round that time of my life. "Nothing really matters till you make it All right all right Nothing really matters till you say The love's all gone but I keep headstrong And nothing really matters in the end".
Keep Tryin'-Performed by Groove Theory. The title of the song is self-explanatory. All of my life I've tried and tried to please others, even if it compromised my feelings. Now I try and just be myself. Everyday, I struggle to say what I feel, and everyday I struggle to say it without stuttering. Still I try. I'm trying so hard inside to become a better person. If we got to pick a song as our theme song in life, this would be mines. "Your day is coming though it seems far, things will be clear when you love who you are, nothin' can stop you as long as you listen to your heart".
Believe in Love-Performed by Amel Larrieux. When I first found out that this song was on a Christmas album, I was surprised. It didn't seem like it had nothing to do with Christmas, but in the title is the word Love right??? For everyone out there who believes in Jesus Christ knows that he loves us right??? It may not have Santa or elves or Presents mentioned in it, but it is definitely a memorable song. "Whatever you believe, whatever I believe, should make no difference as long as we believe in love".
Lose Control-Performed by Evanescence. Everyone in there life whether they know it or not has urges. Whether its risking your life on some extreme stunt, or just wanting to tell someone to go to hell when its not appropriate to do so, everyone at one time or another has wanted to do these things. And just in case you didn't know I have a dark side. "Just once in my life I think it'd be nice just to lose control- just once with all the pretty flowers in the dust".
By the way I have the songs listed in the order I heard them in my life in this post. (unintentionally LOL)
There, I'm caught up with my tags now. Now I'm tagging Omar. Thats right I'm calling you out from your absence OMZ. Everyone knows that once your tagged in the world of blogging you have to do it. Its an unwritten rule. LOL (where is he?) Also Kelly, Deslily, Jeff, Chelle, and Shari
Saturday, June 23, 2007
That was alright though because Tuesday when I went to the town of Henrietta to do some shopping I made up for it. Its funny because I got off the bus in front of the mall, but I didn't walk around in the mall at first. First I walked to Best Buy to get a couple of DVDs. It was a nice walk, about a quarter of a mile from the mall. Then from there I walked to a plaza, to a Burlington Coat Factory, "Because there more than great coats". Now that was pretty far because I had to walk from best buy to the front of the mall, and walk through the mall's parking lot 'til I came to a crosswalk. Waiting for a chance to RUN across the street was pretty lengthy. Traffic was busy, and even when I had the crosswalk in my favor, the cars pulling out from the mall wouldn't let me cross. Eventually when I got to Burlington, I looked around and bought three pairs of pants and five shirts to replace some of the summer clothes that were ruined by the events that happened in my closet. I'm still not sure if it was a squirrel, raccoon, or opossum. Whatever it/they was/were, it/they ripped some of my pants and most of my shirts and Bills Jersey up. Not to mention my late grandmother's fur coats.
While I was at Burlington Coat Factory, I ran into one of my cousins. She was with her boyfriend (I think). He was there to fill out an application for employment (again, I think). They left as I was coming in, so I was surprised to see them sitting on a bench outside when I was leaving. We all decided to walk to the mall together. I was going back there to shop while they were going there to catch the bus. While we were walking there I noticed the sky turning gray, and in the distance it looked black. I knew there was a storm coming, but I refused to let that ruin my day. For most of the walk, we remained dry, but when we got near the mall, that's when all hell broke. Unbeknownst to me we were under a thunderstorm warning. I didn't know that the storm was going to be that bad. We were were maybe 50 feet from the door and then BAM I got drenched. My new clothes didn't get wet though for some reason, but I guess that is because fate had a different story for them.
Anyhow when I got inside, I said goodbye to my cousin, and headed for Altiers to get some new sneakers. Normally...A more accurate term would be Lately...Lately I have been buying sneakers just for work. I don't have much of a social life, as I have been in the pattern of Going To Work-Coming Home-Eating-Then going to sleep. That's how it was all through winter. I was like a bear in Hibernation, except that going to work part. I would just get one pair and wear them out walking to work. I didn't care what kind of sneakers they were as long as they were comfy. I didn't care about my looks at all. This time, I changed...I cared...I wanted to separate my work life from my social life. So now I have a nineteen dollar pair of sneakers for work, and a sixty-five dollar pair of sneakers for ME! I want to feel good about myself, so I think I should dress like it, even if I am just walking to the store or something. I should care more about me!
After buying the sneakers I walked around a bit in the mall. Nothing really interested me, so I decided to fulfill my yearning for a milkshake. I think the reason I wasn't able to get one the day before Tuesday was because it wasn't meant for me then. Believe it or not getting a milkshake was one of the reasons I left the house on Tuesday. If I had gotten that milkshake on my birthday I wouldn't have never sat down and enjoyed it at the mall with a nice slice of pepperoni pizza (mmmm...PORK). You see my cousin, her boyfriend (I think), and I were approaching the mall a bus was approaching. If I had gotten a milkshake on my Birthday, I wouldn't have even bothered going into the mall after all of that walking.
After I ate my Mmmm Pork, and shake, I caught the next bus home. Before I got on the bus, my bag of clothes couldn't take it anymore. It was wet and it was tired and weak (I guess). A hole formed in the bottom corner of my bag and my umbrella fell out of it along with my DVDs I bought from Best buy. Not only did I have to carry my bag by its handles, but I had to carry it by the hole too.
Wednesday was my Sister's Moving Up ceremony. My sister asked me if I could come awhile back, but she never gave me a specific date. I was lucky that her moving up ceremony was during the week of my vacation, or I wouldn't have been able to go. It was short, and it seemed like they were trying to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. They were supposed to have a keynote speaker, but the mysterious person couldn't make it I guess. They had some kids from the YMCA Choir sing. The two lead singers (a boy and a girl) seemed a little nervous singing to the audience although they did quite well. Then the students read a poem, it sounded like the Borg it was so bland. I think they could have put some umph into it if they tried. Afterwards, my sister took some pictures with her friends and with us, chatted a little bit, and then we Headed for IHOP. I had never been there before, so you can imagine that I was surprised to find out that they served lunch and dinner meals too. I tried something new to me. Something called Crepes. It had chicken on the inside and some kind of egg mixture on top. It was delicious. I want to go back just for that!.
Thursday I slept in for most of the day. I wasn't feeling very well, but I did manage to get out of bed and go to The Home Depot to get some supplies for outside. I felt rather nervous in there though. After my experiences at stores where people would be watching me, I felt like maybe it would happen here too. But it didn't so I calmed down. Other than buying safety glasses, a rake, a trimmer, garbage bags, dustpan with a long handle, and a sledge hammer, I didn't do much on Thursday.
Friday I tried to clean the backyard, but its like Impossible Mission Back there. Its kind of bad. We neglected it. Its our fault, but I can't do it alone though. I need help from everyone else in the house to do that. I must have filled nine bags with leaves and branches (Big Bags). I didn't even put a dent in the cleaning. I gave up and went upstairs and watched my new movies. When I say its bad back there, BELIEVE me its bad.
Today, I came online and chatted with some friends. One blogs like me, and the other is a longtime friend from High school, who I have to call in an hour and a half.
Before you know it I will be complaining about work in no time...LOL
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Next week I am on vacation, and I plan on doing some things that I said I was going to do last year. This time I am going to see them through. I'm going say what I feel and maybe I will actually get some understanding. I am going do what I want, and I am not going to let any demons or anyones opinions get in my way. I am going to have some fun, even if it hurts my bank account. I am tired of having nothing but regrets. I shouldn't complain about my WHAT IFS, if I haven't tried right??
I am going to take that step out of the door, and try and enjoy my life. I have too? This isn't goodbye!!! If I don't post at all next week its a good sign. Wish me luck!
Saturday, June 09, 2007
With that said here we go!
(This may seem morbid but...) If you could choose, how would you want to die?
I know its an "interesting" question, but its been on my mind ever since the episode of LOST where Desmond reveals to Charlie that he keeps saving his life and eventually Charlie will die. The first three times that Charlie was supposed to die, would have been meaningless. However when death finally met up with him, Charlie died with purpose. Not only did he die knowing that Claire would be rescued someday, but he died saving Desmond from being drowned also.
Those episodes had me thinking. Thinking about how when the time comes how I would want to pass on. I know we don't really have any say in death. We can try and delay the inevitable, but it will eventually happen right. We also can't control the other people and the decisions they make around us. I could walk down my street right now, and someone could flying down my street, and lose control of their car, and hit me. We CAN reduce the risk of such things happening by being cautious, but even still with life there aren't any guarantees.
Knowing all of this I am still plagued with that question up above. How would "I" want to die? Well I know for a fact that I don't want to commit suicide, and ironically that is the one way of death I am in control of. I definitely wouldn't want to drown. I wouldn't want to suffer for a long period of time from being shot or stabbed. I could accept suffering from old age. Then there is the other way. If I could I think I would like to make a difference. If I could just do at least one thing that help someone or many people then I would be happy about that. Life wouldn't seem so fleeting. (more on this in a future post)
What do you think is the quirkiest thing about you?
Well I have some odd things about me, but I have found that I like to challenge the great theorists of our time with theories of my own (example). I recently had this thought ever since the Paris Hilton media circus started up again. I theorize that everyone on Earth has a ego Level. Some have higher ego levels than others because the earth can't handle everyone having that much hot air in their heads. If by some chance everyone's egos became as big as your average fly boy or girl, then the Earth would fall off it's axis and we'd all eventually plummet into the sun and die. Think about it though really, if everyone had big heads, they would all have their noses pointed up to the sky, and that would mean their big heads would be tilted at an angle. All of that shifting weight would be tremendous. LMAO
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Anyways...while working at the service desk at my job I noticed that when people turn in there plastic bottles some of them leave their bottle caps on there bottles. You know where this is going right?
I hit a gold mine (LOL). Tall bottles, skinny bottles, fat bottles, tiny bottles. I don't care if they are finicky bottles, as long as they have a bottle cap on it from coke (or cokepane accesories...I mean other coke brands LOL). I told my co-workers that if they buy a coke drink to save there caps for me. One of them is actually saving the caps off of returned bottles like I am doing. So kind of her.
I have decided to take it to the next level. If anyone one out there has coke bottles with coke reward bottle caps on them send them to me. I'll take them, I'll take them allllll!
Read the fine Print!
You can send them if you want, but good luck finding out where I live!!! Ha-HAAA!