Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Hide 'n Seek while playing duck duck goose

I have been tagged. Three times...Twice to do one meme, and once for another. I kept saying, "I will do them, I will do them", but things kept coming up. I mean there was no way in H E double hockey sticks I was going to do them on sticky days like the last few days have been here in The Roc. Before that I was on vacation, so I didn't do the one Jeff tagged me for. Sorry Jeff! Here I am now though. Its pretty hot in my bedroom and there is a thunderstorm on its way here so hey, might as well do it now since I am deathly afraid of thunder and lightening (yes I admit it)

First up, Jeff tagged me, well actually he awarded me with the

I would like to think my mom, my cousin James, my brother Jevon, and all of the little people out there...We did it. LOL

In all seriousness though, Thanks Jeff much appreciated. Being nominated and all I have nominate five blogs that make me think. Well everyone in my sidebar gets my brain juices flowing, but I will still pick five though.

The first two are MIA, but they still are worthy to tag, because they have some very good stuff in there archives that you can still Read. They are also the first two AOL Journalers that commented in.

Rebecca: Author of In The Shadow of the Iris, is a wonderful writer, and dare I say it...Poet. The first entry I ever read of hers was a Judith Heartsong Essay contest entry entitled, "Color". Awestruck with the way it was written, and (LOL) asked if there was any way I could help her to win. That's just how GREAT I thought it was. I bet if anyone was to read that post they would think the same thing.

Omar (my journal brother) is witty author of Detached and Indifferent Expressions. Omar was the first journal that I ever commented in. At first I had to look up the meanings of the words Detached and indifferent. In doing so I thought to myself that should have been the name of my blog too. He and I kind of almost have the same thought process, with the exception of OMZ being a big fan of Star Wars, and myself being a fan of Star Trek. I guess you could say that I kind of looked up to him as my "Big brother Blogger". If you want to get a laugh read his blog, it is very funny.

The next blog, has me laughing up a storm (oh my gosh you just don't know). The author of Assclownopolis is has a "Talented" sense of humor. He sees things that I could never even dream of. Although TFG I wonder if you saw today's NY post cover? It said V-D day for Paris Hilton, and the first thing I thought of was Venereal Disease Day For Paris Hilton. Serious though, TFG finds ways of making points with humor for instance.

What does the next blogger make me think of...What doesn't he? Chris the author of Inane Thoughts & Insane Ramblings, has it all in his blog. Humor, knowledge, recipes, pictures, adventures. Not only does he make me want to cook what he his cooking, but just by looking at the pictures from his family trips or his time learning martial arts makes me want to just drop everything I'm doing and just go, go, go...and give this stuff a try.

The last the last blog that makes me think is Half Full or Half Empty. And I think to myself..."Why isn't anyone reading her blog". Not only managing a baseball team for fun, but she is also playing to get into shape. She also loves animals, she just recently brought a kitten home that some jerk left in a parking lot. She really cares about the welfare of other animals, and i'm surprised that she isn't and advocate or some kind of spokeswoman for them, because she isn't afraid to say how she feels. Oh did I forget that she fishes and hunts, a woman after my heart. LOL, Now GO and read her blog.

Here are the rules of this award meme:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

Next Meme, I was tagged by Ari, and Chris to pick Five songs that had an impact in my life. And for some reason I must also Link Holly and Loz (who are you guys...M.u.sss.t Obeeeyyyy)

First off let me say that my interpretations of these songs and the way the artist intended them to be heard aren't necessarily on the same wavelength.

I Miss You-This song was performed by a group called Klymaxx. It was written about missing a lover, but in the eyes of a ten year old it was written because he missed his dad. When I was a kid I didn't get to spend much time with my dad...For whatever reason (I dunno till this day). Whenever I would have to go back home to my mom, I would miss him so much. One night I heard this song on the radio after he dropped me off. I cried so much! "I Miss you, its so easy to see, I miss U and Me".

That's The Way of The World-This song was performed by Cathy Dennis f. D-Mob. It had an impact on my life, but not a positive one. I was depressed because my best friend had moved away. Now that I am sitting here reading the lyrics, I understand it now, but I don't think I will ever listen to that song again. I used to think about suicide 'round that time of my life. "Nothing really matters till you make it All right all right Nothing really matters till you say The love's all gone but I keep headstrong And nothing really matters in the end".

Keep Tryin'-Performed by Groove Theory. The title of the song is self-explanatory. All of my life I've tried and tried to please others, even if it compromised my feelings. Now I try and just be myself. Everyday, I struggle to say what I feel, and everyday I struggle to say it without stuttering. Still I try. I'm trying so hard inside to become a better person. If we got to pick a song as our theme song in life, this would be mines. "Your day is coming though it seems far, things will be clear when you love who you are, nothin' can stop you as long as you listen to your heart".

Believe in Love-Performed by Amel Larrieux. When I first found out that this song was on a Christmas album, I was surprised. It didn't seem like it had nothing to do with Christmas, but in the title is the word Love right??? For everyone out there who believes in Jesus Christ knows that he loves us right??? It may not have Santa or elves or Presents mentioned in it, but it is definitely a memorable song. "Whatever you believe, whatever I believe, should make no difference as long as we believe in love".

Lose Control-Performed by Evanescence. Everyone in there life whether they know it or not has urges. Whether its risking your life on some extreme stunt, or just wanting to tell someone to go to hell when its not appropriate to do so, everyone at one time or another has wanted to do these things. And just in case you didn't know I have a dark side. "Just once in my life I think it'd be nice just to lose control- just once with all the pretty flowers in the dust".

By the way I have the songs listed in the order I heard them in my life in this post. (unintentionally LOL)

There, I'm caught up with my tags now. Now I'm tagging Omar. Thats right I'm calling you out from your absence OMZ. Everyone knows that once your tagged in the world of blogging you have to do it. Its an unwritten rule. LOL (where is he?) Also Kelly, Deslily, Jeff, Chelle, and Shari

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Great Outdoors in a Vacation

My vacation is almost up. It has been fun. I did almost everything I wanted. I went to the movies on birthday. Never had I ever seen two movies in a theater in a day, but on my birthday I did. I went and Saw Pirates of the Caribbean and The Fantastic Four. I think my behind was well...behind on circulation, because my butt was asleep after that. I think maybe I should abort my no junkfood diet, because I had nachos with cheese and a Slurpee...two Slurpee's actually. I swore I would have a milkshake too. I didn't though, and there was an Abbott's Ice cream shop near my bus-stop. I didn't go though. These two guys pulled up in a truck with this big mean looking dog, so I decided it would be best if I stayed away. The bus came before they left, so I left.

That was alright though because Tuesday when I went to the town of Henrietta to do some shopping I made up for it. Its funny because I got off the bus in front of the mall, but I didn't walk around in the mall at first. First I walked to Best Buy to get a couple of DVDs. It was a nice walk, about a quarter of a mile from the mall. Then from there I walked to a plaza, to a Burlington Coat Factory, "Because there more than great coats". Now that was pretty far because I had to walk from best buy to the front of the mall, and walk through the mall's parking lot 'til I came to a crosswalk. Waiting for a chance to RUN across the street was pretty lengthy. Traffic was busy, and even when I had the crosswalk in my favor, the cars pulling out from the mall wouldn't let me cross. Eventually when I got to Burlington, I looked around and bought three pairs of pants and five shirts to replace some of the summer clothes that were ruined by the events that happened in my closet. I'm still not sure if it was a squirrel, raccoon, or opossum. Whatever it/they was/were, it/they ripped some of my pants and most of my shirts and Bills Jersey up. Not to mention my late grandmother's fur coats.

While I was at Burlington Coat Factory, I ran into one of my cousins. She was with her boyfriend (I think). He was there to fill out an application for employment (again, I think). They left as I was coming in, so I was surprised to see them sitting on a bench outside when I was leaving. We all decided to walk to the mall together. I was going back there to shop while they were going there to catch the bus. While we were walking there I noticed the sky turning gray, and in the distance it looked black. I knew there was a storm coming, but I refused to let that ruin my day. For most of the walk, we remained dry, but when we got near the mall, that's when all hell broke. Unbeknownst to me we were under a thunderstorm warning. I didn't know that the storm was going to be that bad. We were were maybe 50 feet from the door and then BAM I got drenched. My new clothes didn't get wet though for some reason, but I guess that is because fate had a different story for them.

Anyhow when I got inside, I said goodbye to my cousin, and headed for Altiers to get some new sneakers. Normally...A more accurate term would be Lately...Lately I have been buying sneakers just for work. I don't have much of a social life, as I have been in the pattern of Going To Work-Coming Home-Eating-Then going to sleep. That's how it was all through winter. I was like a bear in Hibernation, except that going to work part. I would just get one pair and wear them out walking to work. I didn't care what kind of sneakers they were as long as they were comfy. I didn't care about my looks at all. This time, I changed...I cared...I wanted to separate my work life from my social life. So now I have a nineteen dollar pair of sneakers for work, and a sixty-five dollar pair of sneakers for ME! I want to feel good about myself, so I think I should dress like it, even if I am just walking to the store or something. I should care more about me!

After buying the sneakers I walked around a bit in the mall. Nothing really interested me, so I decided to fulfill my yearning for a milkshake. I think the reason I wasn't able to get one the day before Tuesday was because it wasn't meant for me then. Believe it or not getting a milkshake was one of the reasons I left the house on Tuesday. If I had gotten that milkshake on my birthday I wouldn't have never sat down and enjoyed it at the mall with a nice slice of pepperoni pizza (mmmm...PORK). You see my cousin, her boyfriend (I think), and I were approaching the mall a bus was approaching. If I had gotten a milkshake on my Birthday, I wouldn't have even bothered going into the mall after all of that walking.

After I ate my Mmmm Pork, and shake, I caught the next bus home. Before I got on the bus, my bag of clothes couldn't take it anymore. It was wet and it was tired and weak (I guess). A hole formed in the bottom corner of my bag and my umbrella fell out of it along with my DVDs I bought from Best buy. Not only did I have to carry my bag by its handles, but I had to carry it by the hole too.

Wednesday was my Sister's Moving Up ceremony. My sister asked me if I could come awhile back, but she never gave me a specific date. I was lucky that her moving up ceremony was during the week of my vacation, or I wouldn't have been able to go. It was short, and it seemed like they were trying to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. They were supposed to have a keynote speaker, but the mysterious person couldn't make it I guess. They had some kids from the YMCA Choir sing. The two lead singers (a boy and a girl) seemed a little nervous singing to the audience although they did quite well. Then the students read a poem, it sounded like the Borg it was so bland. I think they could have put some umph into it if they tried. Afterwards, my sister took some pictures with her friends and with us, chatted a little bit, and then we Headed for IHOP. I had never been there before, so you can imagine that I was surprised to find out that they served lunch and dinner meals too. I tried something new to me. Something called Crepes. It had chicken on the inside and some kind of egg mixture on top. It was delicious. I want to go back just for that!.

Thursday I slept in for most of the day. I wasn't feeling very well, but I did manage to get out of bed and go to The Home Depot to get some supplies for outside. I felt rather nervous in there though. After my experiences at stores where people would be watching me, I felt like maybe it would happen here too. But it didn't so I calmed down. Other than buying safety glasses, a rake, a trimmer, garbage bags, dustpan with a long handle, and a sledge hammer, I didn't do much on Thursday.

Friday I tried to clean the backyard, but its like Impossible Mission Back there. Its kind of bad. We neglected it. Its our fault, but I can't do it alone though. I need help from everyone else in the house to do that. I must have filled nine bags with leaves and branches (Big Bags). I didn't even put a dent in the cleaning. I gave up and went upstairs and watched my new movies. When I say its bad back there, BELIEVE me its bad.

Today, I came online and chatted with some friends. One blogs like me, and the other is a longtime friend from High school, who I have to call in an hour and a half.

Before you know it I will be complaining about work in no time...LOL

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Morale at an end

My birthday is coming up next Monday, and I...I have been thinking about my life and and "being" in general. I don't exactly know when it happened but I stopped "LIVING", and I hid away not only within "MYSELF", but inside my home also. The thought of just going outside just to BE and unwind was nothing if not terrifying. Now the number 32 is right around the corner, and I can't bear to hide inside in either way mentioned above anymore. Its starting to take its toll on my sanity and my heart not to mention my mortality.

Next week I am on vacation, and I plan on doing some things that I said I was going to do last year. This time I am going to see them through. I'm going say what I feel and maybe I will actually get some understanding. I am going do what I want, and I am not going to let any demons or anyones opinions get in my way. I am going to have some fun, even if it hurts my bank account. I am tired of having nothing but regrets. I shouldn't complain about my WHAT IFS, if I haven't tried right??

I am going to take that step out of the door, and try and enjoy my life. I have too? This isn't goodbye!!! If I don't post at all next week its a good sign. Wish me luck!

Saturday, June 09, 2007

(Un)Meaningful Question(s)

I once got a comment telling me that I was in my element when I posed questions. So I think I will do that. I am going to try and do this every Saturday. Sometimes I will only ask one question, and other times I may ask two. When I ask two questions, one will have meaning and will be more purposeful, while the other will more than likely be more on the silly yet fun side of things. If you like, you can leave your answer in the comment section of the post, or if you don't have anything to blog about and you think this is interesting, you can do a post based on my question(s). Leave me a link so I can come read though.

With that said here we go!

(This may seem morbid but...) If you could choose, how would you want to die?

I know its an "interesting" question, but its been on my mind ever since the episode of LOST where Desmond reveals to Charlie that he keeps saving his life and eventually Charlie will die. The first three times that Charlie was supposed to die, would have been meaningless. However when death finally met up with him, Charlie died with purpose. Not only did he die knowing that Claire would be rescued someday, but he died saving Desmond from being drowned also.

Those episodes had me thinking. Thinking about how when the time comes how I would want to pass on. I know we don't really have any say in death. We can try and delay the inevitable, but it will eventually happen right. We also can't control the other people and the decisions they make around us. I could walk down my street right now, and someone could flying down my street, and lose control of their car, and hit me. We CAN reduce the risk of such things happening by being cautious, but even still with life there aren't any guarantees.

Knowing all of this I am still plagued with that question up above. How would "I" want to die? Well I know for a fact that I don't want to commit suicide, and ironically that is the one way of death I am in control of. I definitely wouldn't want to drown. I wouldn't want to suffer for a long period of time from being shot or stabbed. I could accept suffering from old age. Then there is the other way. If I could I think I would like to make a difference. If I could just do at least one thing that help someone or many people then I would be happy about that. Life wouldn't seem so fleeting. (more on this in a future post)

What do you think is the quirkiest thing about you?

Well I have some odd things about me, but I have found that I like to challenge the great theorists of our time with theories of my own (example). I recently had this thought ever since the Paris Hilton media circus started up again. I theorize that everyone on Earth has a ego Level. Some have higher ego levels than others because the earth can't handle everyone having that much hot air in their heads. If by some chance everyone's egos became as big as your average fly boy or girl, then the Earth would fall off it's axis and we'd all eventually plummet into the sun and die. Think about it though really, if everyone had big heads, they would all have their noses pointed up to the sky, and that would mean their big heads would be tilted at an angle. All of that shifting weight would be tremendous. LMAO

Wednesday, June 06, 2007


Call me whatever you want. After this post you may call me...I dunno. My favorite soda is Cherry coke, and I have started to drink it again. NOT as much as I used to but still I am drinking it. Anyone that drinks coke probably knows that inside the cap there is a code that you can used one of their websites to get items. I once got a couple of MP3 songs. They weren't compatible on my MP3, but they were playable on my computer though (the dead computer).

Anyways...while working at the service desk at my job I noticed that when people turn in there plastic bottles some of them leave their bottle caps on there bottles. You know where this is going right?


I hit a gold mine (LOL). Tall bottles, skinny bottles, fat bottles, tiny bottles. I don't care if they are finicky bottles, as long as they have a bottle cap on it from coke (or cokepane accesories...I mean other coke brands LOL). I told my co-workers that if they buy a coke drink to save there caps for me. One of them is actually saving the caps off of returned bottles like I am doing. So kind of her.

I have decided to take it to the next level. If anyone one out there has coke bottles with coke reward bottle caps on them send them to me. I'll take them, I'll take them allllll!

Read the fine Print!

Sendyourcokebottlecapstocharlesw.atabcstrochesterny12345youpaytheshippingandthehandlingkidsgetyour parentspermissionnoticethatthisisn'treallyasolitationjustmyattemptathumor.

You can send them if you want, but good luck finding out where I live!!! Ha-HAAA!

Saturday, June 02, 2007

(Un)Meaningful Question(s)

I once got a comment telling me that I was in my element when I posed questions. So I think I will do that. I am going to try and do this every Friday. Sometimes I will only ask one question, and other times I may ask two. When I ask two questions, one will have meaning and will be more purposeful, while the other will more than likely be more on the silly yet fun side of things. If you like, you can leave your answer in the comment section of the post, or if you don't have anything to blog about and you think this is interesting, you can do a post based on my question(s). Leave me a link so I can come read though.

With that said here we go!

I can actually place this question in both categories (meaningful and silly)'ll understand why soon enough.

What would you do if you see a bug?

Sounds like a stupid question right. People in general would probably say kill it, and then there are some who'd say jump on a table and scream like a baby. I know some guys that would do this too. Anyways, like many questions that seem to endlessly pop in my head, I analyzed it from just about every angle.

When I was younger I liked looking at bugs. There were many times that I have interacted with them. I have been bit, stung, and crawled on. I have stepped on, captured and sprayed bugs. I guess now that I think about it, I have even lived with bugs.

People in general tend to look at bugs as a nuscance, and pay no never mind to them. Unless they come into contact with them. Lets say you seen an ant crawling on your counter top in your home. What is the first thing we tend to do. We get annoyed...right. We don't want any bugs crawling around in our homes. The next thing we do is grab some newspaper and smash that sucker out of existence. Its fine and all, I can understand how we'd want to keep our homes sanitary from bugs that could endanger ones health. I mean I would immediately kill a mosquito if I saw one in my home, so no one could be infected with West Nile virus. Lets change the scenery though.

Lets say you were outside and the bugs in question were outside too. Would you kill them then. They have a right to eat too don't they. Yet I see people just go and step on them without a care in the world (oh there just bugs). I wonder though, if there was some way to detect whether or not a life form has a soul, would we act differently. I know some people may laugh, but when I am walking, I try my hardest not to step on any insects. During the summer when a bee makes its way into my bedroom, I capture it in a bottle and release it outside. I just think that they have a right to exist too. If there were no sidewalks and know streets, there would still be bugs crawling and flying around us. They have to search for food too. If the roles were reversed and they were towering over us, how would we feel? I know I wouldn't want to be stepped on...would you?

In some ways I do feel like a bug though. If went and committed a crime (for example a DUI), I'd most likely be thrown in jail and given my full sentence. Unless of course I am some big celebrity or rich person that people seem to worship. Then I'd get out and have my fans sign petitions to have my sentence reduced. A crime is a crime. There shouldn't be one punishment for someone as big as the stars, and one for someone as small as a ant. If you kill someone you should go to jail for life. If you are driving while under the influence than you should serve the time given to you.

I don't care how many signatures you get, or how famous you are. If you get 46 days than that 46 days should stick (if you ask me 46 days wasn't enough). And when she gets out and kills someone under the influence then what. She'd probably serve community service unless she hit someone else famous. How do you expect someone to learn from there mistakes if you pat them on the shoulder. Treat them like a "bug". Like you treat me. Don't give them a slap on the wrist. There shouldn't be two types of justice! There should only be one!