I have been battling with mental illness my whole life. I have been in an out of therapy, and I even went to emergency once because of a panic attack. I have posted things about how I feel and a few people suggested that I get some help. Well guess what I have done just that.
It's the reason why I was able to go and sign up with Planet Fitness. It's the reason why I lost so much weight, and it's the reason why I am starting to be able to step outside my comfort zone. Granted it is NOT easy, and I do have moments where I slip, but I get right up on that saddle and keep on riding. I have been reading a book about cognitive thinking at the behest of my therapist, and I really think its helping me. Maybe I will get into more detail about it some other time. I have been talking to people more, sharing my feelings and even asking women out (although I have been turned down LOL). Also I have applied for an assistant manager position at work that I was more than qualified for, but that is a story for another time too. In any case something else opened up and I finally got full-time and a raise at a different location. Basically the same thing that I am doing now, but better benefits (sweet :). Also less responsibility than that assistant manager position too!
Now I am focused on trying to find who "Charles" is. I always agreed when my opinions differed with others, I never spoke up when people put me down, and I always doubted myself when I wanted something better for my life. I feel so much better! I don't feel so lost and alone anymore. I can honestly say that although I still want to find the love of my life, I am content to be on my own now. I feel hope for the first time ever, and I'm going to get a car! Hehehe. If their is anyone reading this trust me! Believe in yourself. If you don't believe in anything else believe in you! DON'T let anyone ever put you down, because if they try, than you are better them! I know it's cliche, but if I can do it so can you. :-)
Shadow Shot Sunday
10 hours ago