Saturday, September 15, 2007

Promises, Broken With the feelings of the Recluse

Hi my name is Charles and I have a Question.

If someone says they will do something for you, and they don't follow through, should this fall under the "Broken Promise" category?

Hi my name is Charles and I have a few Questions for you actually.

If someone says they will do something for you and they don't follow through, or call you to let you know the reason, does this fall under the "Broken Promise" category?

If someone didn't mention the word promise, but said they would do something for you does that fall into the promise category?

I Wonder...

Last week, I was walking home one night from work, and a former co-worker who lives down the street from me stopped me. I considered her a friend, so when she wanted to chat, I was all for the conversation. She invited me on her porch and we talked. She asked me to come and play cards with her and some of her friends on Friday, and go bowling on Saturday. I eventually said yeah, and gave her my phone number, and she said she would call me on Friday.

Its sad when a person doesn't get there hopes up when someone says that they are gonna do something for someone. I didn't hold my breath as I was walking home. I knew already that I wasn't on her list of top friends (everyone has a list like that including me...its all about bonding).

Friday came along and I was sitting by the phone waiting for the call expecting it not to ring (does anyone see anything wrong here). 9:00pm I was still in my "I'm not going anywhere today anyways" clothes. By 10pm I put on my sweats (pajamas), and when 11pm came along I was fussing as if I was surprised that she didn't call. I wasn't surprised, I guess I just wanted to vent, because someone let me down (again). Everyone in my life often wonder why I'm so distant, I hope this helps to answer some of there questions.

When I say I'm going to do something for someone, I do it. If something comes up, and I'm unable to, I call and let the person or persons know that I'm sorry and I am unable to follow through, and perhaps I we can chill or whatever it may be, some other time.

The words Broken Promises keep fluttering around my Dome like butterflies made of glass Shards. This just makes me want to be even more distant when I don't want to be.

I have so many excuses and doubts running through my mind.

Maybe she forgot
Maybe she doesn't care
Maybe she forgot (cause she smokes weed)
Maybe its because we live in two different worlds like oil and water
Maybe she doesn't like me
Nobody likes me

I just feel I shouldn't even bother trying to put in the effort if I am going to be stood up and then dropped, and have my emotions fractured into a million pieces. Haven't my emotions been fractured enough in my life. It feels that way, like I've had lifetime of broken hearts. Way to many for someone at my age. I'm surprised Its still beating. I don't think I have the strength to open up to anyone else. It's so much easier on me to just keep everyone at arms length. It hurts a lot less! Though It still HURTS!

7 comments:

shari said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shari said...

:( It makes it even more painful when you know that you would never do that to anyone else...of course you deserve to be treated with the same courtesy, respect and honor you give others. Unfortunately, many people are not as honorable. Such is life.
One thing I can suggest though, for the sake of enjoying yourself more, is remembering who you are dealing with and not mentally relying on certain people to be as considerate as you are. For instance, in this situation you already knew she is...um... flaky. Don't think of it as letting you down, just see it as an opportunity for having fun and take charge...like going by her house or calling her up early that day and going, "We're still hanging out tonight? I'll be there at 7:00." If you can't even consistently count on her after you help things along, then I would back off altogether.
As far as the people in your life who mean the most....when they let you down and break promises....that's a whole other level.

Chelle said...

::puts hands on your cheeks and pushes em together till you make the fish lips face::

I love ya big guy!

*smooches*

If you need me, I am once again home.

Chris said...

The words Broken Promises keep fluttering around my Dome like butterflies made of glass Shards.

Wow....that line is worded perfectly. Your writing keeps evolving into more and more powerful punches.

As far as the relationship, it isn't rude the next time you see her to ask, "what happened the other night? I was looking forward to it but figured something came up." Then let her off the hook. If she does it a second time, then just know she is inconsiderate and it's not you, but don't give her another chance to do it a third time. That's just my opinion.

Jeff said...

Most people are jerks in some fashion. You can't control what others do, you can only control how you react to it.

I take things people say like a grain of salt. If it pans out, fine. If not, I don't get too upset about it. Why waste the energy? It is better to blow it off than to assign negative attributes to them or you when you really don't have enough information.

Most people are jerks in some way. Just let them be.

Jeannette said...

Don't let people get to you Charles. I've found that the only person you can really trust is yourself. It makes it harder when you know you wouldn't do what this girl did. It's nice to know that you're a man of his word. Jeannette xx

Ari said...

"When I say I'm going to do something for someone, I do it."

That's because you're a good person. I know it hurts, but think about it, sweetie... Would you rather be the good person that thinks of others or the person that is so self-absorbed that they blow people off? She missed out, not you.

Hugs,

Ari