Thursday, August 09, 2007

All The Preparing In The World Couldn't...

I like to think that I prepare for things. I try my best to plan something and then execute it. As we all know things don't always go according to plan though. One always remember to bring a pen, and then it leaks through your pants (me). Or you save your video game data so you don't have to start over from the beginning, and then the power goes off in your house during the save process, causing your memory card to become corrupted (me).

Normally I watch the news for the weather report on the news, or get the info online, so I know what to be ready for. Tuesday was no different. I read the report on line, and it said that it was likely to be rain. It didn't say 50% chance, it said likely, so I took my umbrella. I got nearly halfway to work (past the TV station is about halfway from my house), when it started raining. It was a steady rain at first so I kept my umbrella down, and then...


Now I like the rain, and sometimes I walk in it with my umbrella down. Sometimes though, Mother Earth can act big and bad, and give you too much of a good thing (Like an Overdose). I know there is such a thing as water poisoning. You know when you drink to much water. What happened next had me thinking what would happen if I got too much water on my body.

End Sidebar

Then the rain it started falling diagonally...Almost sideways. I put my umbrella up just in time. Just in time to protect my head and chest, because nothing else was safe from the torrential torment that kept falling...crashing down to Earth. The lower part of my shirt got wet, but my pants were even worse. At first it got my backside. I had my MP3 player in my back pocket, so I had take that out and carry it in my hands along with my shirt. Then when I turned the corner the rain was falling toward the right side of my body. So then I had to take my cellphone out of my pocket and carry it along with my work shirt, my MP3 and my umbrella. It was tricky because I had to use both hands to hold on to everything, while keeping the upper part of my body dry.

My sneakers weren't even safe. The water got in them, and I ended up slushing (I was Jelling) the rest of the day. There in the garbage now, because there very smelly. The right sneaker was soaked more, because it had a hole at the top of it. Thats alright though, I was going to throw them out anyways when I buy a new pair Friday.

I couldn't even sit down before my shift started, because my butt was wet. Heck my crotch was wet too. You know how when you were a kid and you wet yourself (not that I ever peed in the bed), and your parents told you to go take a bath. So then you start walking and you feel uncomfortable, because your pajamas are wet, which in turn makes you start walking funny? Yeah well that is how I felt!

You'd think after that overdose of rain, I wouldn't want anything to drink, but I got a ice tea and gulped it down. Then I went up to the desk and complained about how cold it was. I was the only one who was cold...Hmmm I wonder why.

Boss Lady suggested that I use our little radiator that has a blower on it, to dry off. So I gave it a shot, so at least I could try and dry my crotch area when I didn't get any customers. The problem is I did have customers. By the time I would get a chance to go back and turn the radiator on, a customer would walk up to the desk. So I would have to put the damn thing down and then step out of the office, and help someone. It got so repetitive that I thought I was doing an impersonation of Homer Simpson when he said "Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up, bed go down".

Heater goes up, heater goes down.

Thats not even the worse part. I was worried someone might see me on camera and think I was playing with myself or something. So I called it quits and just slushed my way out onto the desk and endured the wetness for the rest of the night. At least I know what I get when I get drenched...A cold!


Chelle said...

Um, is it me, or is hot in here?

::fans self::

I'd help ya with dry'n yer um, well, yeah... hehe


Chris said...

Once I got stuck in one bad assed thunderstorm in the middle of a 100 mile bicycle ride in Flordia. We were in the middle of NO WHERE on a rural road so the only 2 options were 1) stop and seek shelter under a tree (see lightning in wikipedia, lol) or 2) keep going.

The guy I was with and I cut it short to take the 67 mile route but that still had us riding another 2 hours in wet, padded bike shorts. When we were done, I had a nice red, figure 8 shaped rash wherever the bike short padding touched my skin. I walked bowlegged for days.

So....yeah, I feel ya Charles:)

Charles said...

More power to ya, I would have quit either way. I'm scared to death of thunderstorms (trees or no trees). I bet it was hard to resist scratching. :-D

Charles said...

Chelle your a trip. LOL