Tuesday, December 19, 2006

What a conversation and Theory

A conversation that I heard!

Camera Panning on a Bar at a Corner of the Universe.

A being walks through the door of the bar, and sits at the Bar and proceeds to talk to the bar-keep.

Trojan Boss: How you doin?

Com Puter: Fine sir, how about you?

Trojan Boss: This is a fine establishment you got running here!

Com Puter: Thank You, oh I didn't get your name?

Trojan Boss: That's not important, you can just call me friend.

Trojan Boss: In fact you can call me your best friend, and as your friend I can give you protection for a modest fee.

Narrator: A whole bunch of other beings walk in through the bar door!

Com Puter: Who and where did all of these people come from.

Trojan Boss: Oh them, they work for me, don't worry they like it here.

Com Puter: They are crowding the place and slowing down my response time.

Trojan Boss: I know isn't great, and look one of them has managed to hog two of your most favorite browsers all to himself.

Com Puter: Dammit, my owner won't be pleased! What should I do?

Trojan Boss: NO Problem, I have a solution for you.

Narrator: Trojan boss pulls out a box.

Trojan Boss: here is a defense for my friends, and all it will cost you is a modest fee every 365 days.

Com Puter: Okay I'll take it, are you sure it's safe?

Trojan Boss: Of course, it will get rid of those nasty bugs in NO time. Better hurry up, it looks like one of them is heading for AOL Software.

Narrator: Com Puter hands him the cash and opens the contents of the box.

Com Puter: whoa, that was close!

Trojan Boss: See if you have protection, you don't have to worry about those little buggers.

Com Puter: Your the one that brought them in here, they wouldn't have known about my "fine establishment" if it weren't for you.

Trojan Boss: If I didn't bring them here, someone else would have, and they wouldn't offer to protect you like I will.

Trojan Boss: Adios

Com Puter: Four letter words

You know that is what computer virus's seem like they were created for in my opinion. I just don't see any other purpose, other than someones idiotic sense of "Just to see if I can do it". I bet someone created the computer virus just so they could create the computer anti-virus software. Okay I may be wrong, but why are people like me going out there, spending about $50 a year on anti-virus software? Because we have too right? But why do we have too? Who created the "virus", the "Trojan" and the "spy and malware".

It makes me wonder!

If there was a way to create a virus, there should be a way to delete one permanently. I don't pretend to know anything about them, but shouldn't there be a way to wipe them out over the Internet with one fell swoop? I bet there is a possibility, but I know it wouldn't be profitable.

Which brings me to a conversation that I had with my computer.

Charles: What's wrong computer?

Computer: I don't feel good? I keep getting these LUXCOMS~1.EXE (20 at one point) files that won't stop popping up.

Charles: Let me have a look see! Hmmmm, I have know idea let me look and see what I can find online. It says that the LUXCOMS~1.EXE file is an file extension for Live Update for your Norton System Works. There is a virus attacking you

Computer: Delete it!

Charles: I can't! (panicking) I know what I will do, I will uninstall it

An hour goes by!

I try uninstalling and the damn thing won't. I go to Symantec's website, and I find the Norton Removal Tool, but that doesn't work. So I systematically remove every file one by one until I can use the removal tool. Took me another hour, because there some files that refused to be deleted. Then I went and bought McAfee Total Protection, and that wouldn't work. Every time I would try to download it to my computer, the program would freeze. It turns out that my computer doesn't meet the system requirements.

I have a virus attacking a anti-virus program, and I have a anti-virus program that is too much for my computer. I am at a lost. the only thing I can do is take my chances and not use anti-virus protection. I bet I'd have a better chance with a condom protecting my computer at this point. After all of that, now my search program is damaged. I wonder what else is ruined. I think I will end up reinstalling my windows software, and starting from scratch. I'm thinking about it. Heck I'm thinking about putting a new computer on layaway or something.


Jeff said...

Anti-virus companies = Computer Mafia?

X. Dell said...

I've long since suspected that a lot of viruses are given the soft eye by software designers so that they can sell anti-viral software. But I know that other industries use viruses for other purposes. Last year, Sony put a virus on its CDs that would infect host computers if someone tried to copy or burn a CD selction into an mp3. Once this became known, Sony apologized and said they wouldn't do it again.

No one else has mentioned the subject.

Chelle said...

I have a friend who is a MAC person. She went to change internet providers. WELL the AOL software itself made it so she had to have her MAC REDONE professionally, completely because there was a program NOT letting her use any other internet software. She lost EVERYTHING. And you know AOLs response? Oh well. That is right. They said "OH WELL" in her letter from snail mail. UNBELIEVABLE. That is why AOL is known as the virus highway.

AND FYI the effin BLOGGER VERIFICATION SUCKS ASS TODAY! ::smiles while losing temper:: HOW DOES ONE TYPE THE LITTLE STUPID BLUE BOX WITH THE ? IN IT!!!!! UGH!!!!! lmfao @ me going off

ChasingMoksha said...

You have just met the evils of capitalism. It is what I bitch about 24/7.

Charles said...

LOL, No Jeff Anti-Virus Companies + Greed = Profit.

Chris said...

Cumin, Pepper, Thyme, Rosemary, and Salt say "Hello"!
(Seasons' Greetings)

I look forward to getting back to reading your blog after my sabbatical ends in January!

PS: This Comment certified virus free:)

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