The World is Reborn...But...

This is another video game post!

I have some favorite video games on my shelf. Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2, Metal Gear Solid 2, Xenosaga series, and the .Hack series.

Well I never thought I'd see the day when they would make another .Hack game let alone three. .Hack is a simulated MMORPG. There are three games (parts) to this latest series. It's so hot, it puts the first .Hack series to shame. Well at least I can say that about the 1st of the three new games. The first one is called .Hack//G.U. Vol. 1//Rebirth. The effects are SPECTACULAR, and the storyline is pretty good too.

I don't know if anyone who played the previous games noticed this, but it seems to me that it was a game of opposites. Kite (the protagonist in the first .hack games) seemed to be timid, and a goodie to shoes , while Haseo (the protagonist in the new series) seemed to say the first thing that came out of his mouth, and has a bad boy image. Some of the bosses in the first series are hero's in the new series. Then there is the hero's in the original .Hack. Three of them-They are called "The Descendants of Fianna." There are copies of there player characters in .Hack GU that are being perceived as villains in the first game and part of the second.

I know, I know-not everyone likes video games, but I do, and I beat the first one in two days, and then started it all over again a week later and beat it again. I have been waiting for months now for the new game to come out in the U.S. I know that it's a Japanese game, but can't they release it faster. I mean come on, Japan has already seen the release of all three games and I'm sitting here twiddling my fingers like a junkie waiting for the second one to be release. I know it's not because of the subtitle either. A Voice That Reminds Me of You was to long for the cover-Yes I know, so they shortened that to Reminisce. C'mon and hurry up already, I'm already "Hooked", don't you want to get me "Lined and Sinkered" as well.

I'm dying over here!

Hypothetical Question

Okay I have a hypothetical question for everyone!

Lets say that you are a pharmacist, and you are making oh...around $50,000-$80,000 a year.

All of that money, life is grand!

Close your eyes and enjoy the possibilities. A luxury car, A grand home, just about everything you need and want. All of a sudden you go to work and you, pop some pills in your mouth, that you haven't paid for. Then you go to another department with a box and start taking things, and put these things inside of a box and try to leave without paying for them as well. You get caught and arrested because of your cheapskate tendencies.

My question is this, "What the Hell YOU are DOING stealing from your job if you make $50,000-$80,000 a year?

What is going through people's brains nowadays?

That last Question didn't count!

Let's Talk About Sex...Let's Not!

One night when I was getting off of work, I go to a cashier's checkout to buy some groceries. Now I have said this before, "I am not good at starting conversations". For some reason I decide to start one with the cashier. She knows when I am at work I don't need a plastic bag, but this time I have a coat on. She asks me Am I going home? I tell yeah, and that I am tired, and I am going to go to bed when I get home. "I'm not a morning person, and I have been at work since 7am" I had been up since 5:30am by the way.

For some reason this cashier...She tells me that she was up early too, and that she kept bugging her boyfriend for sex. I'm...I'm like, "did she say, sex or socks"? I was so tired that I really didn't know. Then she tells me that he has a habit of waking her up whenever he wants something (I distinctively remember her not saying anything about him bothering her for some lovin'). However she on the other hand, she reiterated her first sentence. She did say sex! She woke him up for sex, and I'm thinking to myself, "If I wanted to know about your love life I would ask". "Too Much information, now I got it pictured in my head...Get it out, Get it out"! Actually I was more ticked off about it. Here we are in a public place, and all I wanted to do is have a nice conversation, and then BAM!

I think there was only one time when I initiated conversation about sex with someone, and that was when I lost my ytinigriv. I really don't like listening in about someone else's sex life, or talking about mines or lack there of. It's not me! If I'm close to you and I can talk to you about anything well maybe, but, this girl, she is a stranger to me. All I know is her name, and where she works, nothing else, and she blurts out of no where that she bugged her boyfriend for some boot knocking.

Another thing I hate is when I hear guys talking about there latest conquest, or how this girl is easy or blah blah blah. The only time I would talk about sex is with the love of my life, that's it! I will be honest though, I was a little surprised that a woman would wake up a man and ask for sex. Usually it's the other way around...right???

What was that??? Oh Nothing!

The storm had me a little worried, but in our area it went out with a whimper. I guess we are one of the lucky ones. I'm happy about that...Although...

Slip count: 12

I didn't fall at all, but I sure came close, and one of those times was as I was walking up a crosswalk from the street.

I hope everyone else is OK to. Off to work!

If I don't post...

If I don't post this week, it's because of the Ice Storm. One is headed our way and the meteorologists don't know for sure what to expect. So again if I don't post it is because our power is out, or it is because I have slipped fell on my behind (whoops), and have been impaled by something. Or maybe a power line will get me, or perhaps one of the trees that I took pictures of and posted here (I didn't get there permission). In any case I know how everyone feels that is going through this. In 1991 our family lost power and we had to stay at one of my Aunt's apartments for nearly two weeks. It was quite crowded then because other family members stayed there as well, but it was surprisingly fun. I loved my aunt's pancakes (still do Auntie, by the way if you read this can I have the recipe?).

To all of the families out there that still have power and are going through this, my heart goes out to you. To the families that have lost loved ones, I am sorry for your loss.

Prayers

Cross Your fingers for Western New York!

Later

I hate the laundromat

Why does awkward stuff always happen to me at the laundromat?

This time I was washing my clothes when all of a sudden a former co-worker shows up to wash her clothes. Problem is, she is a former co-worker that I had a crush on. Normally I wouldn't have any problems talking to her, but her boyfriend came with her.

So I got all nervous and I really couldn't say much. She asked about my brother. I told her he was fine and such, but after that I didn't have much else to say. I get so nervous, whether its because of someone I like, or trying to carry a conversation in general, I just choke.

It's nothing personal (well maybe it is just a little), but she was one of the few people that I could open up to, and now a couple of years later after she left and went to a different store, we finally catch up to each other....

What could this possibly mean?

Well I took it as a sword to the chest, because it kind of reminds me of opening up an old wound. Someone else that I didn't have the courage to tell how I feel. It probably doesn't matter anyways. I don't feel like I belong. No one understands me. I have always felt like I was alone on one island, while everyone else was together on another. Hell she probably thought I was weird when I took the picture. Maybe I jumping to conclusions, but nobody seems to see things the way I see them.

Change

I didn't take that picture because of the change machine. I took it because I was reflecting on that word. It has more than one meaning, and I want to CHANGE. I would like to be able to carry a conversation, or say how I truly feel, but I don't know how. There was only one person my entire life who ever came and sat down next to me and said hi, and I have lost her forever too. Maybe my thoughts are a little erratic right now, but my feelings aren't.

There is that saying, "You can't teach an old dog, new tricks". If that is true, than I might as well be put down, because I don't want to be alone anymore.

Thank Goodness for Education?!?!!?!?!

If it wasn't for children's education, there wouldn't be a New York State Lottery...Right???

Normally, I'd play my favorite number 618 with the NUMBERS (three way) game, when I have a "FEELING". I got that feeling last Tuesday, so I played it for Both drawings (Midday and Evening). Didn't win crap. Then along comes Thursday, my day off mind you, and guess what number Came out...?

681

If I had played it the way I normally do (straight/box), I would have one 4o dollars.

Here is a lesson in online lotto gambling:

straight means: The number you have, has to match the winning numbers in the exact order
(681 has to be 681).

Box means: If your number is the winning number, it can be any variation of those three digits (681, 618, 816, 186..etc.). However the payout is much less when playing your number box.

Back to my story

Like I said my number came out on Thursday, but not the exact way that I play it. It doesn't matter, because it never occurred to me to play it on my days off (Thursday and Friday). I would have won $40. Besides I didn't get that "FEELING". Funny thing is, this always seems to happen to me. Whenever I play my number, it comes out on my day, or DAY's off.

I was upset for the rest of the week.

Funny thing is, it doesn't matter!

NOPE!

Doesn't matter at all, you see.

Today, while I was wallowing in my self pity, while looking at my number on the lotto poster, I noticed something. I notice that there was not one '2' up there in any of the numbers, on the NUMBERS side of the poster. So I got that "FEELING", but this time, it was for another number.

Hey kids, Sesame Street is brought to you by the number 2!

So I played the number 2, or more accurately, I played triple 2's (222). During that time, I say to myself, that I have never one anything big like that my entire life. A half an hour goes by, and I check the numbers, and...



My jaw drops!

My co-worker says to me, "Charles what's wrong", and I just sit there staring at the Lotto terminals LCD screen. She says it again, and in shock, I start pointing at the Lotto report for the NUMBERS game. Finally she (my lucky charm), comes over and sees the number 222.

I WON BAABAY! God may not Endorse gambling, but I think he was routing for me.


You can't play triple numbers box, so I played it straight for $1.oo. If I had played it for fifty cents, than I would have one half of the $500. My friends pointed out to me that this makes up for my -->impulsive indulgence<-- (more on that later in a future post).

Maybe I should play some more. There are 15 numbers that haven't been played this millennium.

044
076
160
208
462
471
556
679
686
706
721
734
804
906
981

That is a little tidbit that the NYS Lotto sent us, as a topic of discussion to get people to spend, spend, spend. I don't know if it is accurate anymore, considering we got that some time last summer.

I'm spent

I think that is all I have to say about this.

Later!

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

This is going to be a toughie!

I am going to take a page out of A Character from Star Trek: The Next Generation's book, and use it. Ensign Robin Lefler, portrayed by Ashley Judd, had a list of rules that she calls, "Lefler's Laws". She had a 103 by the way. I don't know how many I will have, but I'm hoping that if I see them rather than store them in my head I will remember them and stick to it. Maybe it will help better me somehow. Like Everyday Life, this won't be a recurring thing. I was thinking about Every Wednesday, but There is no Guarantee that I will come up with one every week. Besides trying to follow every rule would probably become overkill. I need to absorb one at a time. I haven't come up with a name for this, but eventually I will.

RULE #1:

Be yourself NO matter what!

I have often found myself doing and saying things around others to suit them. I done this for friends, but mostly for family. I held back my feelings, and I let them think that we were on the same page, when we weren't. When it came to friends, I gave in to peer pressure, and compromised my integrity, just so I could belong.

I'm Tired!

I'm tired of trying to please others so I can belong. It's making me feel more weary than when I am alone. It's way more easy being Charles, instead of becoming someone else's idea of "Charles".

So anyone that can't accept me as me, has no business in my life. I may never find love, and I may never find a friend that I can rely on, but at least I will be happier alone as myself.

This is an ongoing process. I may have a few roadblocks, but I MUST remember this post, and that if I fall off of the horse, I just have to get back on and ride it again.

Everyday Life 17: Precious Life

I do a lot of thinking when left alone at work. Usually things that leave an impact in my life cause me to think about these things for weeks at a time.

I completed the Xenosaga Trilogy (video games), and towards the end, I noticed and experience something. It was something that kind of bothered me. This may sound kind of weird to you, but bear with me. I played this game, and I got to know these character's and there personalities. When they hurt I hurt. When they smiled I smiled. So towards the end of the final game in the series, my heart broke. They started killing off some of the protagonists. Okay, so they killed off two, but that still affected me.

Jin Uzuki, the brother of one of the first characters in the beginning of the game (Shion Uzuki) gave his life to protect his Allies and friends from certain death, at the hands of there enemy, the Gnosis. It was done in dramatic fashion, and it made me very sad. I thought to myself, "Why did they have to kill Jin off. "He's the hero, the hero should always come out alive".

So I went to work today, and while I was there, I started thinking about life in General. Life is supposedly more precious than gold, yet blood is being spilled like it's "Fools Gold". So many lives are being snuffed out and there isn't anything that I can do about it.

Thanksgiving is one of the holiday's that is celebrated in our home. Noticed how I didn't write about it. It's because around 2 or 3 O'clock in the morning just before Thanksgiving is supposed to start, a young man's life was taken just down the street from our home. The police lights flashing up in my window, woke me up, and the sirens screaming down our street scared the living daylights out of me. My fear pales in comparison to what that young man's family must have and will be going through. I think his memorial is still up where he died. I heard that he was going to become a rapper. I'm not big on rap, but how do we know that he wasn't going to make it better? We won't never get that chance to find out.

What gives people the right to take another's life? How can they live with themselves? A beautiful person could be standing right next to me, and then there consciousness can dissipate in an instant. If only there was a way to prevent this. If only God had planted some kind of fail safe inside people, so they would feel what there victims felt. I even felt for Saddam Hussein. I know he killed millions of people, and I know he hates the US and it's citizens, but I can't say that I would want him dead. Then again the other option isn't good either. Murder's can spend the rest of there lives locked up, but will they regret taking the life, or will they regret getting caught and spending the rest of there lives lock up? I won't pretend to know the answer. If someone close to me, like my brother was killed, I don't know how I would respond. It's just that two wrongs don't make it right.

After the deep thought:

A few minutes before I closed the desk, there were two guys out in front of the store fighting. One had friends and they tried to break it up. The lone man must have said something, because the guy with friends came flying back toward the lone man and started yelling at him. I had to make them stop, by telling them that they are at a place of business. Who knows how that would have turned out. When will end? What will it take? This is another reason why I am losing faith in humanity's survival.

When will people open there eyes, and realize that life isn't "Fools Gold"

As Of Now!

Placing hand over Heart! (The Bible would be sacrilege)

I Charles Do Solemnly swear that I will not eat any junk-food of any kind for the next 365 days.

This includes:

Little Debbie snacks (oatmeal Creme pies, swiss rolls...etc)
Oreo Cookies
Reese's peanut Buttercups
cookies
cakes
pies
banana pudding
Sour Patch Kids
ice cream (Excludes Popsicles)
Anything in The Candy aisle of the store I work at.
chili dip
cheese cake
fast foods (McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's)
certain TV dinners (I will eat Healthy Choice, but not Stouffer's, Marie Callender's or Swanson).<---Failed
I welcome anything else that anyone comes up with.


Why have I set this goal so high? Because, I have been eating mostly junk-food all of my life and there is no telling how much damage I have done to my arteries. My body is out of shape. On top of this I have high cholesterol.The idea of dying from a heart attack or, being trapped within the confines of my body by a stroke, doesn't appease any part of my mind or heart. I've tried this before, but I didn't post it in my blog. I did that on purpose, because I didn't have any expectations to live up too. Not to mention that I saw mushrooms that reminded me of Ritz crackers one day as I was walking to work. Now I will post it here for the world to see. Hopefully that will be enough incentive to get me going.

I will also entertain any suggestions on foods that I can eat (I'm All Ears)

Eventually, I may start asking for exercising tips as well.

Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.

Computer's End: New Beginning

We see our hero entering the stage. He turns on his computer, and it takes forever to load. When it loads the computer is only a shadow of it's former glory. After being chewed by the antagonist: The Computer Virus, our hero's ally has a whole bunch of obstacles to overcome.

The hero: Charles tries his hardest to restore his computer to better days, but to no avail. There are a whole list of issues.

1. The Search Results tool has been munched on. "What do you want to search for?" Well actually that wasn't even up there. The only thing left was the search companion. If you have Windows XP, you know them as, Rover, Merlin, Courtney, and Earl. In my case I was stuck with Earl. Couldn't search for anything on my computer.
2. Windows Media Player was chomped on good. There was nothing left, but an error message and the Icon.
3. There were certain buttons on websites that couldn't be pressed (more on that later on in the post)
4. Norton Anti-Virus was a no show. Charles pressed that button a number of times, and like the famous Quote from Star Trek fame, "Resistance is Futile".
5. System Restore wouldn't work either, it would get half way done and then a pop-up would appear saying that it would not work. For some reason Charles would keep getting his hopes up during each attempt.

I'm curious, have any of you ever been on a hopeless or hapless quest? Where every turn you take leads you back to square one.

Case in point:

I tried to fix my computer without using my restore disk. Everywhere I turned lead to a brick wall. I tried to use the virtual technician for my Mcafee software that I recently bought, but I couldn't press the button on the web-page. Mcafee was too powerful for my computer anyways. My computer wasn't able to reload Norton Anti-Virus software either. Every time I would try, I get the same result, buttons that I couldn't press and the live update software loading itself 20 times or more. Heck, when I gave in and decided that I wasn't going to bother, I went and Checked AOL journals to see if anyone I read there had posted. I Checked Omar's AOL Journal, and not only couldn't I see any of the pictures he had on there, but I couldn't even pressed the button to open the comments on my screen. I had to go directly to the page of a particular post if I wanted to see or post comments.

So what do I do? I decide that I am going to "put my pet out of it's misery". Reluctantly, I walk upstairs to my bedroom, and get the "poison", that will be the conduit for the end of my computer's suffering. Remember the "Hapless" question I posed to above. Well I do, and let me tell you, I never felt so helpless, frustrated, and useless, in my entire life. It was if something or someone, bigger and badder had entered the stage. It was as if something or someone was there, waiting in the wings with a diabolical plan that was always three steps ahead of me. Why you ask??? I don't know if I ever posted an entry on my AOL blog about it, but a year after I got my computer it's DVD player fizzled out on me. When I went to get my restore disk, I saw this...



Check the bottom right corner. Yep, it's a restore DVD. Some computer's get Restore CD's. I just happened to get a DVD. What a tangled web, my invisible adversary weave. I wonder, if all of this was planned from day one. This may seem a bit like paranoia, but what if I tell you that I had an invisible ally on my side.

What are the odds someone (oh lets say me) going on vacation at the same time that my computer decides it's ready for Dr. Jack Kevorkian? What are the odds of me finding a DVD drive for my computer on sale for $39.99. Where is Data or Spock when you need them? Anyhow, I found one at best buy, and came home and installed it. It took me a little over an hour, but I managed to get it working, and I am now the proud owner of a mismatching pair of disk drives.

Finally I was able to bid farewell to my woes and the woes of my computer. I erased the virus, and unfortunately, I erased all of my blogging history. Pictures, journal entries, ideas, potential posts, poems, HTML code that I had saved, animated GIF's that Brandy, Donna, and another friend made for me, music that I downloaded from WalMart.com and that I got from a friend, and the pictures from my sister's baby shower. Fortunately for me, the latter is still saved in the memory card inside of my old digital camera. Memories wiped clean, because someone wanted to design something to destroy rather than create. My computer may be a machine, but it was filled with memories. Memories that I had to destroy as a precautionary measure, to ensure that they to wouldn't infect my computer again, when I re-installed Windows XP.

There is a quote from my favorite comic. "With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility". Whenever someone comes out with an great invention, there is always someone out there that finds a way to manipulate it, or turn it into a horrible monstrosity. They find the loophole and not give two shits about others feelings.

To the creator of the computer virus: If you are still around, and by some chance you are reading this, I hope your computer gets infected too. You deserve to know how it feels to be robbed of something special...Memories that fill ones Heart.

What a conversation and Theory

A conversation that I heard!

Camera Panning on a Bar at a Corner of the Universe.

A being walks through the door of the bar, and sits at the Bar and proceeds to talk to the bar-keep.

Trojan Boss: How you doin?

Com Puter: Fine sir, how about you?

Trojan Boss: This is a fine establishment you got running here!

Com Puter: Thank You, oh I didn't get your name?

Trojan Boss: That's not important, you can just call me friend.

Trojan Boss: In fact you can call me your best friend, and as your friend I can give you protection for a modest fee.

Narrator: A whole bunch of other beings walk in through the bar door!

Com Puter: Who and where did all of these people come from.

Trojan Boss: Oh them, they work for me, don't worry they like it here.

Com Puter: They are crowding the place and slowing down my response time.

Trojan Boss: I know isn't great, and look one of them has managed to hog two of your most favorite browsers all to himself.

Com Puter: Dammit, my owner won't be pleased! What should I do?

Trojan Boss: NO Problem, I have a solution for you.

Narrator: Trojan boss pulls out a box.

Trojan Boss: here is a defense for my friends, and all it will cost you is a modest fee every 365 days.

Com Puter: Okay I'll take it, are you sure it's safe?

Trojan Boss: Of course, it will get rid of those nasty bugs in NO time. Better hurry up, it looks like one of them is heading for AOL Software.

Narrator: Com Puter hands him the cash and opens the contents of the box.

Com Puter: whoa, that was close!

Trojan Boss: See if you have protection, you don't have to worry about those little buggers.

Com Puter: Your the one that brought them in here, they wouldn't have known about my "fine establishment" if it weren't for you.

Trojan Boss: If I didn't bring them here, someone else would have, and they wouldn't offer to protect you like I will.

Trojan Boss: Adios

Com Puter: Four letter words


You know that is what computer virus's seem like they were created for in my opinion. I just don't see any other purpose, other than someones idiotic sense of "Just to see if I can do it". I bet someone created the computer virus just so they could create the computer anti-virus software. Okay I may be wrong, but why are people like me going out there, spending about $50 a year on anti-virus software? Because we have too right? But why do we have too? Who created the "virus", the "Trojan" and the "spy and malware".

It makes me wonder!

If there was a way to create a virus, there should be a way to delete one permanently. I don't pretend to know anything about them, but shouldn't there be a way to wipe them out over the Internet with one fell swoop? I bet there is a possibility, but I know it wouldn't be profitable.

Which brings me to a conversation that I had with my computer.

Charles: What's wrong computer?

Computer: I don't feel good? I keep getting these LUXCOMS~1.EXE (20 at one point) files that won't stop popping up.

Charles: Let me have a look see! Hmmmm, I have know idea let me look and see what I can find online. It says that the LUXCOMS~1.EXE file is an file extension for Live Update for your Norton System Works. There is a virus attacking you

Computer: Delete it!

Charles: I can't! (panicking) I know what I will do, I will uninstall it

An hour goes by!

I try uninstalling and the damn thing won't. I go to Symantec's website, and I find the Norton Removal Tool, but that doesn't work. So I systematically remove every file one by one until I can use the removal tool. Took me another hour, because there some files that refused to be deleted. Then I went and bought McAfee Total Protection, and that wouldn't work. Every time I would try to download it to my computer, the program would freeze. It turns out that my computer doesn't meet the system requirements.

I have a virus attacking a anti-virus program, and I have a anti-virus program that is too much for my computer. I am at a lost. the only thing I can do is take my chances and not use anti-virus protection. I bet I'd have a better chance with a condom protecting my computer at this point. After all of that, now my search program is damaged. I wonder what else is ruined. I think I will end up reinstalling my windows software, and starting from scratch. I'm thinking about it. Heck I'm thinking about putting a new computer on layaway or something.

A quick note

The previous post wasn't meant for anyone in Blogland okay. I'm just frustrated over all of the He said she said bull that people seem to want to tell me. Whether it was gossip or my ears and brain being a shoulder to cry on. I can't take it, I just can't take it right now. I have problems too, and I am sure everyone else has one, or more in some way, shape or form too.

Again, it wasn't meant for anyone here!

Later!

NO DRAMA

Cast Members

Charles: Me-Oldest sibling

CC: Second Oldest sibling/oldest sister

Sequel: Second oldest sister*

Prequel: Youngest Sister*

*Okay Sequel is older than Prequel, but if you think about it in the "Star Wars" sense, then you will understand why I gave them those names.


If there is one thing that I hate in this world, it's Drama

I don't want no drama for your mamma, I don't like drama queens, I don't like drama kings. If it were up to me there wouldn't be any dramas on TV.

Why do some people feel the need to put emphasis on things that aren't bad to begin with. You want drama-Here I have some Drama for you!

Now that my siblings are getting older they are starting to do things that are, well a bit questionable.

If there is one thing I hate its sneaking. I know I am sneaky, and if I have to I will have a plan laid out with an escape route, but when someone else is trying (trying being the key word) to be sneaky with me nearby, it really irritates me.

If there is one thing that my step-father and I agree on, its that we don't trust the friends that my two youngest sister's have.

4 months ago!

One night the Sequel invited her friend over to stay the night. I wake up in the middle of the night, and I go downstairs to use the...Make a donation. As I am walking out of the donathroom (you know I have some pretty good hearing) I hear a conversation going on in my Sequel's room. It's not coming from two girls, its coming from a boy and a girl. So I decide to go back into the bathroom and I sit there to see if anyone comes out of the Sequel's room. No one budges, so I go downstairs and low and behold, Sequel's friend is downstairs with some boy in our living room. What do I do? I decide to go online with our computer to annoy her. She tells me that she is trying to sleep. I tell her sorry, and then her and the boy sneak upstairs to the Sequels room. Shhh...I think she thought that I didn't know.

The Sequel lets her friend's boyfriend out of the house, while I am on the computer still (one down), however the other boy remains. Eventually I get off of the computer and I sit in the kitchen in a chair until morning comes. I left out the part that made me stay up until the morning. It really, really pissed me off. Lets just say that if you were in my place, and you saw what I saw, you probably would have flipped out.

Morning comes and I am hidden on the side of the refrigerator, sitting in a chair so my sister can't see me (I told you I am sneaky). I hear her check the computer room to see if I was there. When she finds out that I am not, she gives the "Dead Man Walking" the all clear to come downstairs so he could leave. As they go out the kitchen door that leads to the exit door outside, I get out of the chair and I confront them. She was shocked, and the boy was scared, and I was in a rage from hell. I don't know what kept me from ripping his head off, but whatever it was (guardian angel perhaps...his or mines) kept me in check. She didn't explain herself, and when I brought up what the part that kept me up until morning, she said it had nothing to do with them. I let the boy go, and told her to never bring him here again, and I told her that she is disrespecting mom. After that I let it be. I didn't ever tell my mother, because she...well she...her health. I ignored the sequel for a few weeks until I could get over what she did.

Last month

Prequel invited her friend over! I was upstairs in my room watching some TV, when all of a sudden a familiar smell begin to creep up to my room. Eventually it became stronger and stronger, until I couldn't take it anymore. So I went downstairs to see where it was coming from. It was coming from the Prequel's room. I open the door without knocking and I ask what is up. Prequel said, "Nothing", but I did notice her friend cautiously and sneakingly trying (key word again) to put the top on the prequels shoe cleaner can.

Kids and Aerosol cans don't mix! Parents don't allow your kids to have access to them without your presence.

After the Sequel's events and all of the other events that happened I didn't want to be the bad guy. So I went downstairs to CC and asked her to go upstairs and investigate. She was hesitant herself, but she did, and lets just say that she wasn't any help. When my mother came home, I told her, and I left it alone.

Last week

I don't know what was said, because I wasn't outside. I do know what happened though. I heard a lot of yelling and a lot of screaming, from my attic bedroom. I come downstairs hearing CC yelling at my mom and The Prequel. I hear the prequel crying, and when she comes in the house, she has a red wring around her eye. CC punched prequel in the eye for saying something. I stayed out of that one, I wanted NOTHING to do with it. I let my mother handle it and that was that. I'm surprised that Prequel didn't get a black-eye. She was lucky! Whatever she said, I bet it was very Harsh. Sometimes her big mouth gets her into trouble. Prequel is only 11 years old and she is one of the biggest Drama Queens I have ever met. I miss the old Prequel, the one that was mature for her age. I guess she just "grew up".

There....There is your drama, you Drama Eaters. Does this satisfy your appetites? I just get tired of hearing how Person A has Slept with Person B's Boyfriend, or how someone has spread this nasty rumor about someone around. It's CRAZY and now people do this over there cell phones. Just last night, I saw something unusual. Twin Girls...Teenagers on Cell-phones walking out of the store talking about the drama in there lives (aloud).

Irritating

14

It was 14 minutes until I had to leave work,
This woman came in, said something that hurt

Told me that it was cold outside and it was going to get worse,
"The low will be 14 degrees" as she is riffling through her purse

Processing my 14th bill was the last thing on my mind,
I didn't bring my scarf, and the wind is being unkind

My friend is complaining about her stupid engine,
it has to get warm, before she can begin,
her drive home, but I don't see why she's complaining,
I don't have a car so my patience is wearing thin.

"Don't you have a remote control starter",
"Yes, but somebody will steal my car"

At least you have a car!

Walking with my feet
Eventually walking in the street
14 degrees will do wonders for your cold drinks
It's just too bad that it can't do nothing for me
Just turn my legs into peptide concrete

Free at last as I step into the breeze,
the cold air clears my sinuses and helps me breathe

It's cold as hell, and I can barely see,
only the snow drifts and the desert in the streets

I forgot what it's like to tread in this weather,
If I was a horse than the wind is my tether

This is my last winter on foot, I can't take this any longer
slap the person who said, "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger

14 weeks and 14 days,
until I can say those 14 words that I like to say

"I'm glad it's spring, because it is my most favorite season of the year!"

Head's Up!

Before I get started let me just say, DON'T pick me, if by some chance God were to have everyone on Earth choose a person to look through there eyes to Judge Humanity.

Because of a letter that I got in the mail Monday, My faith in humanity has been shaken. I got letter claiming that I won a Jackpot! (a sarcastic Yay)




Here is what it says:

Sir/Madam

We are pleased to inform you that you are one of the declared winners of the DE-LOTTO SWITZERLAND SWEEPSTAKES held on JULY30TH, 2006 in the 2ND category. Ticket serial NO 387450146 drew the lucky winning NO38-44-66-79-91.

We have made many unsuccessful attempts to contact you regarding this winning. You are therefore entitled to the sum of $250,000.00 US Dollars. This is from a total prize money of $5 million US dollars that was shared and presented among the other 20 declared winners. Please note that all the participants were selected through a random computer ballot system drawn from over 50,000 names.

Your claim number is DH/SUL-0011 and has been assigned to our North American Claims Affiliate. To expedite the processing enclosed is the check of $4880 US dollars which has been deducted from your winning. The sole purpose of this check is for the payment of applicable Government Taxes on your big winnings.

The tax amount is $2975.00 US DOLLAR (TWO THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS) to be paid by either WESTERN UNION OR MONEYGRAM.

Please do not attempt to use this check until you call. You are advised to contact your claim agent immediately for further clarification as indicated below within 5 business days.

First:

It may sound like it makes sense, but it doesn't. Every time I have ever seen lottery winners on TV , I have always heard of the taxes being taken directly from the Jackpot.

Second:

Why would someone send a letter in the mail, without a return address on the envelope???

Third:

I never entered any kind Lotto Contest in Canada, Switzerland or Even North Carolina for that matter.

Fourth:

I am a Western Union Agent (they don't know this I know). I have heard of this scam before, in fact we had and elderly woman come in and try to send the money (her own money), but our manager had her talk to a Western Union Operator.


Then there is this Check that they sent!



It says it has security features on the back, but there nothing fancy back there at all. In fact the only thing fancy about it is on the front. That gold sticker you see. If I had went and cashed this thing it, and sent the money. I would have had to pay this back. I would have been down the $4880.00, plus the $135.00 dollars to send $2975.00 to them.

I was surprised when I got this in the mail. I thought they only prey on the elderly. I am far from wrinkles, so I guess maybe they think I am gullible.

PLEASE, If you get something in the mail from Nicaragua or Canada From Mutual Financial Services or from any other "company" telling you that you won a Jackpot, don't follow there instructions. I know people hold on to hope that they will win big, but you will end up losing big time. If what I said isn't enough, contact Western Union or Money Gram first. This would save you a big time headache

I went to work Wednesday and showed it to my boss lady. She wanted to call Western Union and have me talk to them. I didn't want to, so she asked if I didn't mind if she called and spoke with them. I was okay with that, so she called them. They told her to call the police. So she called 311 for the non-emergencies. 311 ended up connecting her to 911, and they said they would send an officer.

Well five hours later an officer did arrive, and if you think I was mad about the mail I got, think again. I was more upset when the officer told me that there was nothing that could be done. She said she could file a report and take the letter and check, but eventually they would just throw them out. She said that all of it is considered junk mail. She also said something about it being outside of there jurisdiction, because the letter came from Canada

There are people out there that are being hoodwinked out of thousands of dollars just so some greedy A-Hole can fill there stomachs and pay there bills, and there is nothing that the police can do about it. Personally, I felt as if the officer didn't even care. Like she didn't want anything to do with it, and well if she is telling the truth than, our Justice system sucks.

Score one for the bad guys I guess! They seem to be winning a lot as of late, but then again my father did tell me something that stuck when I was a kid. This is Satan's system of things.

Oh The Torture!

Meet my new friends!



It never fails!

After I get over one ailment, another one is waiting in the wings. The pain in my abdomen is completely gone now, and I am fine with that.

Blissfully fine!

Now I have a new one!

It started with a sore throat, mid afternoon last Saturday (which happened to be my first Saturday off since June).

Then by Saturday evening I got the sniffles and some serious congestion. I couldn't breathe, so I couldn't sleep. I can never sleep when my breathing is impaired. I have to struggle just to get enough air, so it takes its toll on me, and it interrupts my sleeping process.

So I stayed up all night and I headed for work at 6am on Sunday. I got through that shift and came home. By then the next symptom revealed itself.

A fever!

Sounds like the Flu to me!

I didn't get any sleep on Sunday either, so I got up and Watched Andromeda on DVD for a couple of hours. Then I kept going up and downstairs. I was hoping that if I came downstairs, some of the pressure from the congestion would ease up. Finally at about 8am Monday, I came downstairs and lied on the couch.

Good News-I got some sleep!

Bad News-It was about an hour of sleep!

I think the only reason I got that hour of sleep, was because my mother and my youngest sister were both downstairs waiting for my sister's bus to come. This may sound strange, but having felt there presence was soothing to me, and it helped me go to sleep. The reason why I think this theory has credibility is because, when they both left, I woke up. Subconsciously, I sensed that no one was there, and I woke up.

I laid on the couch for a couple more hours until I couldn't anymore and got up and ate.

Sometimes I wonder if I am more a slave, instead of a employee. Maybe that is partly my fault though. Eventually I walked to work, with barely no energy. The only thing I was running on was fumes and determination. When I got to work, I went to the break room and and sat down. Actually it was more like collapsing, but either way...

The good part about going to work was that a customer told me about something called Nostrilla that eases congestion. I new we didn't have that at my job, but I figured that maybe there was something similar.

Eureka!

I discovered Zicam! I put that stuff in my nose, and the congestion was gone. I still had the stuffy nose, but that unbearable pressure was gone.

Thank goodness!

Good News-I got some sleep!

Bad News-I woke up and the congestion returned!

I got about a couple of hours of sleep last night, and when I woke up I realized that the congestion was back. I wanted to take the Zicam again, but there is a 10-12 hour waiting period in between (torture). Eventually I went and laid in my bed, and I got a couple more hours of sleep. Four hours of sleep is a heck of a lot better than one. It was a blessing compaired to that.

So I got up and went downstairs to see that I totally lost in all three of the fantasy football leagues that I am playing in (Sucks). At least I did better in the pick'em and the NFL Home Team Challenge this week.

I still feel like crap. On top of the sore throat, congestion/runny nose, and fever I have some other symptoms.

Symptoms I have had before:

• Sneezing (which I am about to do as I am typing this)
• Liquids tasting funny when drank them
  
• affected vision
• itchy ear and throat
• Plugged up ears (causing impairment to my hearing)
• Yellow Mucus (snot factory is in the house!)
  

New one to me:

• Body aches when I cough or sneeze
• Sore throat moved further down (near Adam's Apple)

I never...Ever felt pain like I'm feeling whenever I sneeze. every muscle in my upper body aches when I sneeze. It feels like they are on fire. My mother just told me that I should call in, but I feel like there isn't anyone who would want to cover me.

I guess I will be making others sick again today. I'm sorry about that, but there is nothing I can do. Sometimes I wish that there was a law preventing us from going to work ill!

Even so at least everyone on the East Coast is finally safe from the threat of a Massive Snow Storm! LOL

Don't get your teeth knocked out by that football

I was at work Sunday and I was thinking about something. Every Sunday, I come home and sit and watch football, and I watch my Bills play or another good game on TV. I hear people say how we don't know the names of all 50 States in the U.S. I bet if you sat for a moment and thought it, you would never figure out the names of all 32 NFL teams. There I was at work, trying to figure this out, and luckily for me I don't have any hair to rip out, because I would have ripped it out. It might sound easy, but it isn't. Unless you have an NFL package with a cable, or a dish company, you wouldn't be able to see every game, and every team play. I finally got the chance to see the Texans play, and that was because they were playing my Bills.

Using the Honor System!

Here is a challenge for you (if you love football anyways). Sit down and see if you can figure out the names of all 32 teams. No Cheating! See how many of them you get.

Only in our Lost and Found!

Okay a typical lost and found would include keys, prescriptions, gloves, glasses, wallets, cards/ID's, umbrellas, and canes (we have a pimp cane).....right? First off, I just don't see how someone can lose there Credit Card or there license. That should be stuck to there hip! Then again so should a Walker. I thought it was weird before, when we had a woman lose her keys down the toilet! Now it seems normal compared to what we got on the 15th.



Don't worry, we've got the Tooth Fairy on this one. After all she is the world's best tooth expert, is she not?

How does one lose there dentures? I won't go any further with this, because someday, I may be one of those people who are gumming. You should have saw the look on my co-worker's face when the cart person brought them in.

For Mom!

I'm so glad that I couldn't take part in that insanity that was purchasing a PlayStation 3!

I wanted, I wanted one badly. I'm not an aggressive person, but I would have been to get a PS3. I like video games, but I am not going to wait outside for 3 days, at a store, when there is as many as 10 systems per store. Sony should have waited until they had made about 5 million of those things. With that said, I think it was a sign for me to make a change.

Last year I made a promise, and I wanted to keep it. Then I found out that Sony was releasing the PS3. Then my selfish side began to rear it's ugly head. I had enough money to get both, but then that would mean I wouldn't be able to get a car next year (whole other story).

In any case, I realized that my selfishness was hurting me. It wasn't making me a good person. Our family is struggling to stay afloat financially and I am spending money on myself. I'm not rich, but I do help out.



We have been in this house for over ten years now. We had the same stove for that long, and it was on it's "last breath of gas". One of the burners caved in, and just about all of the switches melted off of it. Then there were the eyes on the stove that were still working (if you wanted to call it that). Some of the holes were clogged on the eyes. There wasn't any fire coming out of them. My mom wanted to buy a stove, but she didn't have the money. I wanted a PlayStation 3, but there wasn't that many. So what did I do? Well there are plenty of stoves out there, so I decided to make mom happy. I decided to buy her a new stove.



When I was a kid, I wasn't the best. I did some mean things, and I got some spankings and some stern talk from my mom. We both waited so long for each of us to do something.

She waited for me to do something unselfish, and I waited so long for her to say these words.

"You've come a long way from where you were"!

That meant so much to me. You just don't know! I know I keep my feelings to myself, but I hope she knows how much she means to me.

I love you MOM!

I'm Fine

At least that is what the tests are saying. Everything came back negative (say one problem), and I am happy about that, but I still have that pain off and on. I think I may have figured out what the cause of the pain is though. It's not as bad as it was before though. I think it is some how related to gas (no joke), my intestines, and with all of the junk food and fast food that I have been eating. I am going to have to cut it out of my diet.

That one problem I have is High Cholesterol, and I think that may play a factor in the pain as well. All of those greasy foods; high in fat, and cholesterol is wearing my body out. My doctor told me to go online and look for websites that relate to cholesterol lowering foods. Part of me is dreading this, because I know I will be in a junk food/fast food withdrawal state eventually. If I quit drinking soda, than I can quit the unhealthy foods too. Thanksgiving, I will have some of my moms banana pudding though.

Before I came home I went and bought Evanescence's new CD. I didn't know that it was released in October, because I was in hibernation mode because of the pain. So I missed just about everything I enjoy. I taped Lost and watched some of it, but I really can't say that I enjoyed it. Heck, I haven't even watched the Fall season finale yet. Basically I put my life on hold and kept everything and everyone at a distance, because I was in pain. I kind of used that as an excused to push some people away though.

When I came home yesterday, I had every intention of logging online, and posting an entry telling everyone that I was fine.

Reason #125 why things never go the way you plan:

I came home, and I laid down to absorb what I was told. "Nothing wrong GOOD; But how will I fight the temptation of buying the bad foods", played over and over again within the confines of my mind.

While I lie in my bed though, my plans to come online were being thwarted by an unknown entity. I think I have said this before. when I lie down, sometimes I sleep with my fan on. I had my fan on yesterday, and while I was in the midst of thinking, my fan had shut off. I got up and I decided to look out of the window, and I noticed that it was the electric company shutting us off. My Step-Father forgot to pay the bill. So there wasn't no post yesterday, and no Open Door on my MP3 to listen to as I walk to work. We didn't have our power on at all last night. In fact we just got it turned back on. So I am about to go and get my MP3 and upload the songs to it. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am fine. Thank you for caring, it really meant a lot to me just to know that somewhere someone thought of me. The world felt a little less lonely.

Later