Topsy Turvy

I guess I've been away for some time. Three years since I last posted. This almost seems like I'm  beginning a confession. Well I'm not, well maybe I am at some point, but not what you might think.

What have I been doing these last few years? Well there have been some good, some bad, and some ugly. I don't think that I mention this in my post in 2014, but that year I had a difficult situation which led to a difficult departure, that ended up being a new and difficult beginning.

At my previous job/store (whatever you want to call it) I had been trying to get full-time. A position as a assistant office manager. I applied three times and was passed up every time. I won't go into further details except to say that the things that happened saddened me greatly. I ended up leaving and going to another store where I got full-time. At first it was very hard. I am not good at new things! It is very hard for me to adjust and people didn't like me much at first. I was also having some health issues that people misinterpreted as anger and attitude. Eventually I found my stride and found some acceptance at my current job. I got hired as the full-time clerk at the customer service center. Was in that position for four years, until I finally got my chance. I am now the assistant office manager at the store I work for. I finally started learning something new. At the same time this was happening my former store closed for business. It was my first job. It saddened me and yet it almost seemed like all of what I had been put through was meant to be. If I hadn't been rejected there, I most certainly would have been one of the displace people looking for a new store to work at. Well I guess that worked out for the best. (Go Me!)

Lets see what else has happened ... ... ... Oh yeah I'm an uncle times three! I have two nephews and one niece. My niece liked me from the start. She wasn't unsure of me like my second nephew. The boy kept giving me this look like, "who are you supposed to be". LOL I am somebody, I am somebody...YEP! LOL Now when he sees me he doesn't want me to leave. My niece well I only get to see her once and awhile. My first nephew is a teenager now. He is a young man who is very much into video games like his uncle. He loves himself some Fortnite. I have to try and get him to do some outdoorsy things! Here is $200 can you clean up are backyard. Hmmm maybe that'll work. hehe

I pretty much have accepted that I won't ever find love. Not as long as I have this nagging feeling that I'm like the man that put his hands on my mom when I was a kid, and not as long as I despise myself like I was told that I do. I pretty much have been stuck inside the house doing nothing unless I had to go to work. That is until Pokemon GO was released. I have been obsessed with this game since I started playing it. Hunting for intangible digital pocket monsters in the "wild". I reached the max level in less than two years. Although there are some who had done this much quicker. I may not be the best like no one ever was, but I gotta catch them all (damn you unown). 

I still haven't gotten a car, still haven't been out of state by myself, still haven't let go of my past, still haven't "grown up" I hope that I never grow up! Adulting sucks! I do hope however that I mature so I can live my life to some sort of fullness, before it's too late.

Confession:

I have spent hundreds of dollars on Pokemon go items shop.

I have another side in my head that responds sarcastically when someone says something stupid or does something frustrating. Like spend hundreds of dollars on Pokemon go (idiot).

All of that weight I lost, I gained all back because of my depression. I just recently went on a fast for soda. it's been a week now I think. I originally started drinking energy drinks for energy. I ended up feeling worse. It was like they started working in reverse. as if my body had started compensation for toxicity in my body, which made me feel sluggish. I feel better now!

I went through a fives steps of grief  when I was upset about work, and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.

Pokemon GO is life! 💓