I hate the laundromat

Why does awkward stuff always happen to me at the laundromat?

This time I was washing my clothes when all of a sudden a former co-worker shows up to wash her clothes. Problem is, she is a former co-worker that I had a crush on. Normally I wouldn't have any problems talking to her, but her boyfriend came with her.

So I got all nervous and I really couldn't say much. She asked about my brother. I told her he was fine and such, but after that I didn't have much else to say. I get so nervous, whether its because of someone I like, or trying to carry a conversation in general, I just choke.

It's nothing personal (well maybe it is just a little), but she was one of the few people that I could open up to, and now a couple of years later after she left and went to a different store, we finally catch up to each other....

What could this possibly mean?

Well I took it as a sword to the chest, because it kind of reminds me of opening up an old wound. Someone else that I didn't have the courage to tell how I feel. It probably doesn't matter anyways. I don't feel like I belong. No one understands me. I have always felt like I was alone on one island, while everyone else was together on another. Hell she probably thought I was weird when I took the picture. Maybe I jumping to conclusions, but nobody seems to see things the way I see them.

Change

I didn't take that picture because of the change machine. I took it because I was reflecting on that word. It has more than one meaning, and I want to CHANGE. I would like to be able to carry a conversation, or say how I truly feel, but I don't know how. There was only one person my entire life who ever came and sat down next to me and said hi, and I have lost her forever too. Maybe my thoughts are a little erratic right now, but my feelings aren't.

There is that saying, "You can't teach an old dog, new tricks". If that is true, than I might as well be put down, because I don't want to be alone anymore.