Thursday, February 23, 2006

This is my world now!

In January I did a "Darkside Survey" post, and in the post I asked what could possibly go wrong if I had control of the Universe.

Well I am scaling back a bit. I don't need control of the universe, I'll be happy just taking control of the Earth. If I had control, (which I would never relinquish by the way), I would do some things (insert laugh here). Some of you may like it, but others...Well let's just say they would get some ultimate payback courtesy of Your Friendly Neighborhood Dictator! Here are some things that will change under my reign over the Earth. Did I mention, I get extraordinary powers with this!

1. No one would ever go hungry again!

2. Get rid of the idiot companies that are only trying to find cures for diseases that they can make the most money off of. I would have all of the scientists of the world focus on curing every know disease on Earth.

3. There won't ever be a homeless person ever again!

4. Everyone will live comfortably and peacefully, there won't be any greed or corruption, because no one will be richer than the other.

So far so good right! Well....

5. Anyone that has taken the life of a person (murder) will be hunted down by my Herald "The Repentonator"(Who has been endowed with a portion of my power..LOL), and will be shown the cruel act they committed, from the victims eyes. If they don't repent for what they have done, my Repentonator will annihilate them.

6. Anyone that has done any harm to a person, will have the same harm reflected on to them two fold.

7. Anyone that has ever smoked a cigarette at the bus-stop downtown while I or another non-smoker was there (which is a no smoking area) will be placed in a room with very little oxygen in it, which is being provided by a little tube. In this room there will be 5,000 packs of cigarettes (whatever kind they smoke I don't care). If they want to be let out they have to smoke every single cigarette in those packs, while inhaling the second hand smoke around them, just so they can see how I feel when I can't breathe while I am waiting for the freakin' bus.

8. Everyone on Earth will have to worship the ground Amel Larrieux walks on.

9. Every woman on Earth will have there breasts increased twice the size they are, just so I can see if Dolly Partons will explode.

10. The person that took my yellow bowl and never brought it back will recover every favorite item they ever had, and then lose them again, because I will tie culprit up to a chair and throw there precious items into a flame and make them watch.

11. The neighbor living next door to me that is responsible for throwing there trash in our garbage can will be turned into a living garbage can. They will be able to feel and see, and smell, but they won't be able to move. They will be our garbage can and I will toss the nastiest, most grotesque things in there, and I will encourage everyone in my neighborhood to join in, and then every Wednesday I will enjoy taking the trash to the curb.

12. "Reality" shows based on love will be erased from Ummmm....Reality! Really people, don't you know fake when you see it. There is nothing REAL about the love you see on the Bachelor, or the Bachelorette. There is a song from PM Dawn called "Reality used to be a friend of mine" After watching these shows I would have to say Yeah! Reality TV has turned me into a full blown enemy....ughhh!

You can call 'em campaign promises, but I am not trying to become a candidate for office, and this isn't an election. I am now in control of your world. BwhahahahahaHAAAH! Hitting the Big RED button now to accept changes.

5 comments:

Stephaine said...

#8 do we have to?

#9 lmao

Two Write Hands said...

I'm lol at #9 too! And I like your new banner! (It is new, right? I haven't just been out of it...?)

DesLily said...

Number 4 got my vote.. I think that would make alot of change in people if there was no greed or money worshiping.

Karen said...

I have pressed the big red button! I love..well... most of your ideas. ;)

Chris said...

You had me on #9. Thank you thank you. You are elected......

Talk about a campaign promise....


Chris
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