If a meme came an bit you on the butt...

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

I have a growing list actually.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Alfonso Ribeiro

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

There was this one lady that brought back five cans of nuts, oh then there was this guy that kept putting in cans that were not compatible with our can machine and he knew he wasn't supposed to. Oh then there is that woman that pissed me off, when she brought a propane tank in the store, which resulted in me punching the container that holds the tanks…Lets just say I would like to really throw a very long punch.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

Velveeta on some shells.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

Pork Chop Sandwich. Mmmmmmmmmm, Pork!

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie (porn counts) celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

Jada Pinkitt, but Will Smith would kill me with his “will-isms”

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

C’mon anyone who reads this blog knows who I'd chose. I'd give you one guess, and her husband would kill me too. What’s up with me and adultery?

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

Save it towards my Playstation 3.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Congo

“Now could we
Now could we
Now could we go
Get to cong, get to cong congo
Get to cong, get to cong congo”


10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?

“I need to go and lay my feet upon the stone
Where the first of us stood before, before, before
Where we came and played to revive our depleted souls
Where we went to forget our freedom was not our own
Where we went to hold onto the memory of way back home”

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...?

It is me telling the angel that he can pick whatever alcoholic beverage he wants, because he isn’t an angel. If he was he’d know that I am against people drinking alcohol. It’s poison, and the proof is in the drunken fools past, present, and future. I wonder if I was too harsh. Oh well!

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

I’ll do a little research on slavery, then go back to the point where it was about to be introduced with a bazooka mind you and blow the son-of-gun to bits and pieces.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

(In a crazy tone of voice) NO ONE WILL STOP ME FROM EATING PORK NO MATTER WHERE I AM! Whether I am on a waterslide, or whether I am at a table. Whether I am walking a dog, or whether I am in a stable. I could be in the bathroom and NO ONE WOULD STOP ME FROM EATING MY PORK!

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?

One thing is for sure; I have yet to see a TV show about a rich family that becomes poor, and have to move next door to an annoying poor family. The family that used to be wealthy ends up getting there motivation to become rich again from there determination to move away from the annoying destitute family, by using zany ideas and inventions based on there encounters with there bothersome neighbors. Eventually over time (the course of the series) this happens and a side effect of this is that the annoying poor family ends up rich too. They end up moving to the same locale as each other in the end. That sounds like a premise for a TV show.


15. What is your favorite curse word?

I guess I say them all about the same. Someone told me that dang is a cuss word now. I say dang every day. So dang is my favorite cuss word. DANG!

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Question are they women mummies, because I’d get all touchy feely. A gropeathon. LMAO

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely.So what's the item?

I’d grab my little dresser like stand. It has my wallet, Gemini cup, keys, MP3 Player and a whole bunch of other stuff in it.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

Ask the Angel of Death to give me some Radioactive Vegetables.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?

It was no accident; I did it so I could get the ability of immortality.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

What's up with these half an hour limits? It would be the day that I turned down a job at a company called Paychex. I could have been making a hell of a lot more there, than I am making at my current Job. The same woman that hired me at my current job, was going to hire me there, and I said no. Boy did I regret that. Here is a lesson for you, get your drivers license as soon as you can!

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (the answer "nothing" doesn't count)

Watching a “so called man” beat my mom senseless when I was a child.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?

A country that I could take over and rule for eternity. I am immortal after all.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

What was I doing? Did someone spike my punch? I don’t do clubs; it must be that twin that everyone has.

24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"?

What kind of question is this? LOL I guess I would float by a pilot house that lost there job for FWI (flying while intoxicated). nya nya nya-nya nya, you can’t get me.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

It will have to wait until William Shatner dies, because the world will end when he dies. I will have to resurrect him and give him some radioactive vegetables so he won't kick the bucket again. He must live or else we will die with him. There is no world after James T. Kirk!

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My cousin John. He was murdered, and his murderer was never captured.

27. What's your theme song?

Memory of Light and Wave.


Since I was tagged by Ari, I have decided that someone else needs to endure this torture as well (not really torture it was fun(ny). Jodi and Stephaine your are up.