Monday, July 03, 2006

Twirling along the edge of a volcanic eruption

Okay I know how everyone thinks I'm nice and everything, but there is this side of me that is just aching to be unleashed. I'm sure that everyone has this side in one shape or form, and more or less intense than mines. I bet there are people who even have more restraint than myself. I was just surprised that I kept it in check. My Twisted Angry Side, My Mr. Hyde, My Incredible Hulk (without the super strength and invulnerability).

I tell you I had a rough day, and if my mind was anything like someone with a multiple personality, the angry side of me would have come out and went ballistic on these people. Behind every annoying customer, there was a smart remark, begging to be spoken.

There was this woman that wanted Orange juice. She couldn't walk to get it herself, so I volunteered to get them for her. Okay there are several brands of OJ right. She managed to merge reality into one, and ask for "Florida's Tropicana Natural" orange juice with pulp. I kept asking her which kind, Florida's natural, or Tropicana? I couldn't get the right answer, so I went to have a look see, and try and get the one on sale. I couldn't find any pulp, and it was busy at the desk, so I headed back, and called for some help. I had the cart attendant look, because two sets of eyes are better than one. I made sure that I told him that she wanted pulp in Her OJ. He comes back with Florida's Natural Original. When I tell him that he got the wrong one, the lady says, that he has the right one.

"You must have pulp for brains lady"

Then these two guys come in to return glass bottles. One guy (a wannabe Eminem) is obviously drunk or high. After I get through counting there bottles, I go and help customers at the desk. Ten minutes later the guys come in and say they lost their keys (this month's theme I guess), and they want me to check the barrels that I tossed the glass bottles into. I literally had to go and get an empty barrel and take bottles out of the barrels in question, and put the glass into the empty one. I laughed on the outside, but one the inside I just want to throw the glass at them, or make them risk cutting there own (expletive deleted) hands on the shards of broken glass. When I was done, I found nothing, but broken glass.

They leave and come back. Now they want me to check the inside of a can machine. I'm wishing the freakin' "Pepsi Machine" has a distant Recycling Machine" cousin, that would come out of nowhere and drop these two guys. How the heck do you expect a can machine to eat your keys and expect them to still be in one piece? More importantly, How the heck do you put your freakin' keys into a recycling machine (I'm so close to making this an A.I.T.T. Expletive Mode Post).

First of all if you are coming to do any kind of manual labor, you better come sober.

Second, if you put your keys in that machine, they are going to get crushed, so looking in the machine is going to be really, really pointless.

Third, I am not responsible for your dumb drunk ass! Maybe if you'd stop drinking all of those Labatts and Budweisers your freakin' brain cells would muster enough strength to give you some kind of common sense so that you wouldn't have lost your keys in the first place!

Fourth, If you are lucky, then maybe you locked them in the trunk.

If not then you are S.O.L.!

See how my evil side emerges! I'll tell you one thing I feel much better now!

7 comments:

Angelia Rian said...

:( I'm sorry you had such a rough day... Hopefully, today will be a brighter one... I'll try to start it off that way with this: Happy 4th, Charles...!!!

I hope that makes you feel a *little* better at least... *soft smile*

Ari said...

Ugh, people are so dumb sometimes. You want to help, but they make it impossible. That's why I think beebee guns should be legal.

Ari

Chelle said...

Sexy

Chris said...

Sigh.....I really miss working in the retail grocery industry....NOT!

But on the other hand, I love hearing from the evil charles!!!!

bwahahaha!

Chris
My Blog

Ari said...

Omg, I just saw your little pimp thing up there! Hahaha, I'm honored. You so rock, man!

Ari

Charles said...

Thanx Angelia

Thanx Ari X's 2

LOL Chelle

LOL Chris

I'm glad someone likes evil Charles

Judith said...

Oh hell ... Charles had a bad day. Welcome to The Judith-dom. Now, get your whiny ass over it already because you're encroaching on my territory, dammit!

::yup, still plotting::
J~