Monday, October 16, 2006

Week of Questions (Monday's Question)

I know I said that I wouldn't answer any anonymous comments, but the one (the only one) left on the post seemed a little intriguing.

The anonymous question was:

Have you ever been married, or in a serious relationship that you would have jumped off a cliff for that girl?

Have I...No! Let me explain

I have never been in a long-term relationship of any kind whatsoever. Part of me wishes that I was married, or in a relationship, but I don't feel like I'm ready. Don't get me wrong, my heart is there, but I am not confident in myself, and I don't feel like my social skills and abilities are mature enough. Then there is the issue of growing up in a home with a "man" that beat on my mother. Sometimes I question whether or not this has affected me in some way. I don't want to be like him, and yet I fear that somehow he has scarred me for life with that experience. I feel that the scars he left behind left a part of him (the part that I resent) embedded within me. It scares me, it prevents me from opening up to a woman that I like, right along with my other insecurities.

When I was in high school there was one girl that I would have jumped of a cliff for. I would have taken a bullet for her, I would give her a kidney...I would have given her my heart. I guess it wasn't meant to be though. Remember the previous sentence, because tomorrow's question has something to do with it!

Whoever your are anonymous commenter, thank you for leaving the question. I appreciated it!

8 comments:

DesLily said...

Your time will come...
My one son was 39 when he found the right person...

Anonymous said...

Yer still a younen. The right woman will sweep ya off yer feet and give you all the confidence in the world. When it is "right" it just works. Plain and simple as that.

lil miss anonymous said...

thanx alot for answering my q. N dont worry i bet da grl in highskool wasnt good enough for u!!hahahaha well thanx again!

Joshua Xalpharis said...

I can't begin to comprehend the feeling of being willing to die for someone.

Sure, I'd donate a kidney. I'd even go out of my way to prevent a death. I do absolutely everything in my power.

Would I take a bullet for someone?

No.

You're an odd, odd person.

Charles said...

I guess you don't understand the concept of love Joshua. If a loved one was in the line of fire, and there was no time to to push them out of the way, what would you do?

tfg said...

There's someone for everyone. The trick is holding out for the right one.

Kelly said...

this entry tells me you are well on your way to being ready for that relationship. you know yourself well, young man :-)

Jeff said...

It always helps to be in the process of improving yourself. However, when your wife arrives, she will be equipped to handle you the way you are at that time. No worries!