Monday, July 07, 2008

The Day I have been Dreading since last year

I knew this day was coming, even if this has been the best year I've had in a long while. I got back in touch with my Dad and my Aunts, Uncle and cousins. I haven't been as angry as I have been in the previous years. I have been getting out more. Life has been looking half full, rather than half empty. So if there will be anything bad to bring my summer to a fall it will be tomorrow, because the day I have been dreading since last year will be here tomorrow.

Tomorrow my brother will be leaving for the Army Reserves. Ever since he sent me that text message last year, its been on my mind. I wanted to spend a ton of time with him like we did when we were kids playing video games, but we were both too busy working on opposing days that we would never get the chance to hang out.

Its funny our mom wanted us all to get together and take a family portrait because of my brothers departure, but it never happened. My family is notorious for doing things with out making appointments, so we got the chance to take the picture because of our schedules. To make matters worse when we all got together that day to get our picture taken they decided to go to Red Lobster for dinner. Not only didn't we get our picture taken, but Red Lobster was jammed pack that day with a hour and forty five minute wait. That didn't go according to plan either.

After the disappointment with the picture (actually lack there of), I decided I wanted to go home. After saying that I kind of made everyone upset. Okay I was kind of angry and I kind of really wanted to take that picture because my brother was leaving and I don't have any current pictures of him and I. I just wanted that day to be perfect, and it wasn't and I ended up making it worse because I ended up being a jerk and I made my brother upset. He wanted us to all to sit at a table and eat one dinner as a family before he left and stupid me, I didn't realize that until I seen him get emotional. Never saw him so upset before, and it made me feel very disappointed in myself. Okay so this is sounding like a black spot on my "perfect year". Anyways after I realized he wanted us to sit down as a family and eat, I obliged and we headed for Applebees Yummm!). I never want to make my brother sad like that ever again. It hurts me just thinking about it.

After the dinner was over and we were all getting ready to leave. I approached my brother and I apologized and I told him, "If I ever start acting like a jerk again just set me straight". Because folks I can REALLY be a jerkwad sometimes.

My bro was actually supposed to leave Wednesday but for some reason time was moved up to very late Tuesday (Early Wednesday AM). Now its Tuesday at 7pm. I guess They REALLY WANT YOU!

We really don't want him to go. I don't want him to go. I don't know anything about boot camp, training or deployment. I just don't want my little brother to get hurt. He's the only one I have, and if something happened to him, and he died or something, part of me would die with him. And I don't think my Psyche could take it.


Chris said...

Man, Charles, that is tough. I hope your brother does well and stays safe.

On the other hand, I think you might have matured a little bit through this process, even if you didn't like how you behaved.

Chelle said...

Charles, it takes a big man to admit you were being a jerkwad as you say and to apologize. :o)

He will only have things to look forward to now. A very close friend of mine (sister in law) joined the army reserves. She now lives in DC making good money and is still in the reserves. She came from being a spoiled little princess to an interrogator! WOW! :oD


shari said...

I hope he is doing well and that he'll come home safe.

How are you?