Hide 'n Seek while playing duck duck goose

I have been tagged. Three times...Twice to do one meme, and once for another. I kept saying, "I will do them, I will do them", but things kept coming up. I mean there was no way in H E double hockey sticks I was going to do them on sticky days like the last few days have been here in The Roc. Before that I was on vacation, so I didn't do the one Jeff tagged me for. Sorry Jeff! Here I am now though. Its pretty hot in my bedroom and there is a thunderstorm on its way here so hey, might as well do it now since I am deathly afraid of thunder and lightening (yes I admit it)

First up, Jeff tagged me, well actually he awarded me with the



I would like to think my mom, my cousin James, my brother Jevon, and all of the little people out there...We did it. LOL

In all seriousness though, Thanks Jeff much appreciated. Being nominated and all I have nominate five blogs that make me think. Well everyone in my sidebar gets my brain juices flowing, but I will still pick five though.

The first two are MIA, but they still are worthy to tag, because they have some very good stuff in there archives that you can still Read. They are also the first two AOL Journalers that commented in.

Rebecca: Author of In The Shadow of the Iris, is a wonderful writer, and dare I say it...Poet. The first entry I ever read of hers was a Judith Heartsong Essay contest entry entitled, "Color". Awestruck with the way it was written, and (LOL) asked if there was any way I could help her to win. That's just how GREAT I thought it was. I bet if anyone was to read that post they would think the same thing.

Omar (my journal brother) is witty author of Detached and Indifferent Expressions. Omar was the first journal that I ever commented in. At first I had to look up the meanings of the words Detached and indifferent. In doing so I thought to myself that should have been the name of my blog too. He and I kind of almost have the same thought process, with the exception of OMZ being a big fan of Star Wars, and myself being a fan of Star Trek. I guess you could say that I kind of looked up to him as my "Big brother Blogger". If you want to get a laugh read his blog, it is very funny.

The next blog, has me laughing up a storm (oh my gosh you just don't know). The author of Assclownopolis is has a "Talented" sense of humor. He sees things that I could never even dream of. Although TFG I wonder if you saw today's NY post cover? It said V-D day for Paris Hilton, and the first thing I thought of was Venereal Disease Day For Paris Hilton. Serious though, TFG finds ways of making points with humor for instance.

What does the next blogger make me think of...What doesn't he? Chris the author of Inane Thoughts & Insane Ramblings, has it all in his blog. Humor, knowledge, recipes, pictures, adventures. Not only does he make me want to cook what he his cooking, but just by looking at the pictures from his family trips or his time learning martial arts makes me want to just drop everything I'm doing and just go, go, go...and give this stuff a try.

The last the last blog that makes me think is Half Full or Half Empty. And I think to myself..."Why isn't anyone reading her blog". Not only managing a baseball team for fun, but she is also playing to get into shape. She also loves animals, she just recently brought a kitten home that some jerk left in a parking lot. She really cares about the welfare of other animals, and i'm surprised that she isn't and advocate or some kind of spokeswoman for them, because she isn't afraid to say how she feels. Oh did I forget that she fishes and hunts, a woman after my heart. LOL, Now GO and read her blog.

Here are the rules of this award meme:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).



Next Meme, I was tagged by Ari, and Chris to pick Five songs that had an impact in my life. And for some reason I must also Link Holly and Loz (who are you guys...M.u.sss.t Obeeeyyyy)

First off let me say that my interpretations of these songs and the way the artist intended them to be heard aren't necessarily on the same wavelength.

I Miss You-This song was performed by a group called Klymaxx. It was written about missing a lover, but in the eyes of a ten year old it was written because he missed his dad. When I was a kid I didn't get to spend much time with my dad...For whatever reason (I dunno till this day). Whenever I would have to go back home to my mom, I would miss him so much. One night I heard this song on the radio after he dropped me off. I cried so much! "I Miss you, its so easy to see, I miss U and Me".

That's The Way of The World-This song was performed by Cathy Dennis f. D-Mob. It had an impact on my life, but not a positive one. I was depressed because my best friend had moved away. Now that I am sitting here reading the lyrics, I understand it now, but I don't think I will ever listen to that song again. I used to think about suicide 'round that time of my life. "Nothing really matters till you make it All right all right Nothing really matters till you say The love's all gone but I keep headstrong And nothing really matters in the end".

Keep Tryin'-Performed by Groove Theory. The title of the song is self-explanatory. All of my life I've tried and tried to please others, even if it compromised my feelings. Now I try and just be myself. Everyday, I struggle to say what I feel, and everyday I struggle to say it without stuttering. Still I try. I'm trying so hard inside to become a better person. If we got to pick a song as our theme song in life, this would be mines. "Your day is coming though it seems far, things will be clear when you love who you are, nothin' can stop you as long as you listen to your heart".

Believe in Love-Performed by Amel Larrieux. When I first found out that this song was on a Christmas album, I was surprised. It didn't seem like it had nothing to do with Christmas, but in the title is the word Love right??? For everyone out there who believes in Jesus Christ knows that he loves us right??? It may not have Santa or elves or Presents mentioned in it, but it is definitely a memorable song. "Whatever you believe, whatever I believe, should make no difference as long as we believe in love".

Lose Control-Performed by Evanescence. Everyone in there life whether they know it or not has urges. Whether its risking your life on some extreme stunt, or just wanting to tell someone to go to hell when its not appropriate to do so, everyone at one time or another has wanted to do these things. And just in case you didn't know I have a dark side. "Just once in my life I think it'd be nice just to lose control- just once with all the pretty flowers in the dust".

By the way I have the songs listed in the order I heard them in my life in this post. (unintentionally LOL)

There, I'm caught up with my tags now. Now I'm tagging Omar. Thats right I'm calling you out from your absence OMZ. Everyone knows that once your tagged in the world of blogging you have to do it. Its an unwritten rule. LOL (where is he?) Also Kelly, Deslily, Jeff, Chelle, and Shari

Great Outdoors in a Vacation

My vacation is almost up. It has been fun. I did almost everything I wanted. I went to the movies on Monday...my birthday. Never had I ever seen two movies in a theater in a day, but on my birthday I did. I went and Saw Pirates of the Caribbean and The Fantastic Four. I think my behind was well...behind on circulation, because my butt was asleep after that. I think maybe I should abort my no junkfood diet, because I had nachos with cheese and a Slurpee...two Slurpee's actually. I swore I would have a milkshake too. I didn't though, and there was an Abbott's Ice cream shop near my bus-stop. I didn't go though. These two guys pulled up in a truck with this big mean looking dog, so I decided it would be best if I stayed away. The bus came before they left, so I left.

That was alright though because Tuesday when I went to the town of Henrietta to do some shopping I made up for it. Its funny because I got off the bus in front of the mall, but I didn't walk around in the mall at first. First I walked to Best Buy to get a couple of DVDs. It was a nice walk, about a quarter of a mile from the mall. Then from there I walked to a plaza, to a Burlington Coat Factory, "Because there more than great coats". Now that was pretty far because I had to walk from best buy to the front of the mall, and walk through the mall's parking lot 'til I came to a crosswalk. Waiting for a chance to RUN across the street was pretty lengthy. Traffic was busy, and even when I had the crosswalk in my favor, the cars pulling out from the mall wouldn't let me cross. Eventually when I got to Burlington, I looked around and bought three pairs of pants and five shirts to replace some of the summer clothes that were ruined by the events that happened in my closet. I'm still not sure if it was a squirrel, raccoon, or opossum. Whatever it/they was/were, it/they ripped some of my pants and most of my shirts and Bills Jersey up. Not to mention my late grandmother's fur coats.

While I was at Burlington Coat Factory, I ran into one of my cousins. She was with her boyfriend (I think). He was there to fill out an application for employment (again, I think). They left as I was coming in, so I was surprised to see them sitting on a bench outside when I was leaving. We all decided to walk to the mall together. I was going back there to shop while they were going there to catch the bus. While we were walking there I noticed the sky turning gray, and in the distance it looked black. I knew there was a storm coming, but I refused to let that ruin my day. For most of the walk, we remained dry, but when we got near the mall, that's when all hell broke. Unbeknownst to me we were under a thunderstorm warning. I didn't know that the storm was going to be that bad. We were were maybe 50 feet from the door and then BAM I got drenched. My new clothes didn't get wet though for some reason, but I guess that is because fate had a different story for them.

Anyhow when I got inside, I said goodbye to my cousin, and headed for Altiers to get some new sneakers. Normally...A more accurate term would be Lately...Lately I have been buying sneakers just for work. I don't have much of a social life, as I have been in the pattern of Going To Work-Coming Home-Eating-Then going to sleep. That's how it was all through winter. I was like a bear in Hibernation, except that going to work part. I would just get one pair and wear them out walking to work. I didn't care what kind of sneakers they were as long as they were comfy. I didn't care about my looks at all. This time, I changed...I cared...I wanted to separate my work life from my social life. So now I have a nineteen dollar pair of sneakers for work, and a sixty-five dollar pair of sneakers for ME! I want to feel good about myself, so I think I should dress like it, even if I am just walking to the store or something. I should care more about me!

After buying the sneakers I walked around a bit in the mall. Nothing really interested me, so I decided to fulfill my yearning for a milkshake. I think the reason I wasn't able to get one the day before Tuesday was because it wasn't meant for me then. Believe it or not getting a milkshake was one of the reasons I left the house on Tuesday. If I had gotten that milkshake on my birthday I wouldn't have never sat down and enjoyed it at the mall with a nice slice of pepperoni pizza (mmmm...PORK). You see my cousin, her boyfriend (I think), and I were approaching the mall a bus was approaching. If I had gotten a milkshake on my Birthday, I wouldn't have even bothered going into the mall after all of that walking.

After I ate my Mmmm Pork, and shake, I caught the next bus home. Before I got on the bus, my bag of clothes couldn't take it anymore. It was wet and it was tired and weak (I guess). A hole formed in the bottom corner of my bag and my umbrella fell out of it along with my DVDs I bought from Best buy. Not only did I have to carry my bag by its handles, but I had to carry it by the hole too.

Wednesday was my Sister's Moving Up ceremony. My sister asked me if I could come awhile back, but she never gave me a specific date. I was lucky that her moving up ceremony was during the week of my vacation, or I wouldn't have been able to go. It was short, and it seemed like they were trying to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. They were supposed to have a keynote speaker, but the mysterious person couldn't make it I guess. They had some kids from the YMCA Choir sing. The two lead singers (a boy and a girl) seemed a little nervous singing to the audience although they did quite well. Then the students read a poem, it sounded like the Borg it was so bland. I think they could have put some umph into it if they tried. Afterwards, my sister took some pictures with her friends and with us, chatted a little bit, and then we Headed for IHOP. I had never been there before, so you can imagine that I was surprised to find out that they served lunch and dinner meals too. I tried something new to me. Something called Crepes. It had chicken on the inside and some kind of egg mixture on top. It was delicious. I want to go back just for that!.

Thursday I slept in for most of the day. I wasn't feeling very well, but I did manage to get out of bed and go to The Home Depot to get some supplies for outside. I felt rather nervous in there though. After my experiences at stores where people would be watching me, I felt like maybe it would happen here too. But it didn't so I calmed down. Other than buying safety glasses, a rake, a trimmer, garbage bags, dustpan with a long handle, and a sledge hammer, I didn't do much on Thursday.

Friday I tried to clean the backyard, but its like Impossible Mission Back there. Its kind of bad. We neglected it. Its our fault, but I can't do it alone though. I need help from everyone else in the house to do that. I must have filled nine bags with leaves and branches (Big Bags). I didn't even put a dent in the cleaning. I gave up and went upstairs and watched my new movies. When I say its bad back there, BELIEVE me its bad.

Today, I came online and chatted with some friends. One blogs like me, and the other is a longtime friend from High school, who I have to call in an hour and a half.

Before you know it I will be complaining about work in no time...LOL

Morale at an end

My birthday is coming up next Monday, and I...I have been thinking about my life and and "being" in general. I don't exactly know when it happened but I stopped "LIVING", and I hid away not only within "MYSELF", but inside my home also. The thought of just going outside just to BE and unwind was nothing if not terrifying. Now the number 32 is right around the corner, and I can't bear to hide inside in either way mentioned above anymore. Its starting to take its toll on my sanity and my heart not to mention my mortality.

Next week I am on vacation, and I plan on doing some things that I said I was going to do last year. This time I am going to see them through. I'm going say what I feel and maybe I will actually get some understanding. I am going do what I want, and I am not going to let any demons or anyones opinions get in my way. I am going to have some fun, even if it hurts my bank account. I am tired of having nothing but regrets. I shouldn't complain about my WHAT IFS, if I haven't tried right??

I am going to take that step out of the door, and try and enjoy my life. I have too? This isn't goodbye!!! If I don't post at all next week its a good sign. Wish me luck!

(Un)Meaningful Question(s)

I once got a comment telling me that I was in my element when I posed questions. So I think I will do that. I am going to try and do this every Saturday. Sometimes I will only ask one question, and other times I may ask two. When I ask two questions, one will have meaning and will be more purposeful, while the other will more than likely be more on the silly yet fun side of things. If you like, you can leave your answer in the comment section of the post, or if you don't have anything to blog about and you think this is interesting, you can do a post based on my question(s). Leave me a link so I can come read though.

With that said here we go!

(This may seem morbid but...) If you could choose, how would you want to die?

I know its an "interesting" question, but its been on my mind ever since the episode of LOST where Desmond reveals to Charlie that he keeps saving his life and eventually Charlie will die. The first three times that Charlie was supposed to die, would have been meaningless. However when death finally met up with him, Charlie died with purpose. Not only did he die knowing that Claire would be rescued someday, but he died saving Desmond from being drowned also.

Those episodes had me thinking. Thinking about how when the time comes how I would want to pass on. I know we don't really have any say in death. We can try and delay the inevitable, but it will eventually happen right. We also can't control the other people and the decisions they make around us. I could walk down my street right now, and someone could flying down my street, and lose control of their car, and hit me. We CAN reduce the risk of such things happening by being cautious, but even still with life there aren't any guarantees.

Knowing all of this I am still plagued with that question up above. How would "I" want to die? Well I know for a fact that I don't want to commit suicide, and ironically that is the one way of death I am in control of. I definitely wouldn't want to drown. I wouldn't want to suffer for a long period of time from being shot or stabbed. I could accept suffering from old age. Then there is the other way. If I could I think I would like to make a difference. If I could just do at least one thing that help someone or many people then I would be happy about that. Life wouldn't seem so fleeting. (more on this in a future post)

What do you think is the quirkiest thing about you?

Well I have some odd things about me, but I have found that I like to challenge the great theorists of our time with theories of my own (example). I recently had this thought ever since the Paris Hilton media circus started up again. I theorize that everyone on Earth has a ego Level. Some have higher ego levels than others because the earth can't handle everyone having that much hot air in their heads. If by some chance everyone's egos became as big as your average fly boy or girl, then the Earth would fall off it's axis and we'd all eventually plummet into the sun and die. Think about it though really, if everyone had big heads, they would all have their noses pointed up to the sky, and that would mean their big heads would be tilted at an angle. All of that shifting weight would be tremendous. LMAO

CALLING ALL BOTTLECAP OWNERS!

Call me whatever you want. After this post you may call me...I dunno. My favorite soda is Cherry coke, and I have started to drink it again. NOT as much as I used to but still I am drinking it. Anyone that drinks coke probably knows that inside the cap there is a code that you can used one of their websites to get items. I once got a couple of MP3 songs. They weren't compatible on my MP3, but they were playable on my computer though (the dead computer).

Anyways...while working at the service desk at my job I noticed that when people turn in there plastic bottles some of them leave their bottle caps on there bottles. You know where this is going right?

Chi-CHING!

I hit a gold mine (LOL). Tall bottles, skinny bottles, fat bottles, tiny bottles. I don't care if they are finicky bottles, as long as they have a bottle cap on it from coke (or cokepane accesories...I mean other coke brands LOL). I told my co-workers that if they buy a coke drink to save there caps for me. One of them is actually saving the caps off of returned bottles like I am doing. So kind of her.

I have decided to take it to the next level. If anyone one out there has coke bottles with coke reward bottle caps on them send them to me. I'll take them, I'll take them allllll!

Read the fine Print!

Sendyourcokebottlecapstocharlesw.atabcstrochesterny12345youpaytheshippingandthehandlingkidsgetyour parentspermissionnoticethatthisisn'treallyasolitationjustmyattemptathumor.

You can send them if you want, but good luck finding out where I live!!! Ha-HAAA!

(Un)Meaningful Question(s)

I once got a comment telling me that I was in my element when I posed questions. So I think I will do that. I am going to try and do this every Friday. Sometimes I will only ask one question, and other times I may ask two. When I ask two questions, one will have meaning and will be more purposeful, while the other will more than likely be more on the silly yet fun side of things. If you like, you can leave your answer in the comment section of the post, or if you don't have anything to blog about and you think this is interesting, you can do a post based on my question(s). Leave me a link so I can come read though.

With that said here we go!

I can actually place this question in both categories (meaningful and silly)...you'll understand why soon enough.

What would you do if you see a bug?

Sounds like a stupid question right. People in general would probably say kill it, and then there are some who'd say jump on a table and scream like a baby. I know some guys that would do this too. Anyways, like many questions that seem to endlessly pop in my head, I analyzed it from just about every angle.

When I was younger I liked looking at bugs. There were many times that I have interacted with them. I have been bit, stung, and crawled on. I have stepped on, captured and sprayed bugs. I guess now that I think about it, I have even lived with bugs.

People in general tend to look at bugs as a nuscance, and pay no never mind to them. Unless they come into contact with them. Lets say you seen an ant crawling on your counter top in your home. What is the first thing we tend to do. We get annoyed...right. We don't want any bugs crawling around in our homes. The next thing we do is grab some newspaper and smash that sucker out of existence. Its fine and all, I can understand how we'd want to keep our homes sanitary from bugs that could endanger ones health. I mean I would immediately kill a mosquito if I saw one in my home, so no one could be infected with West Nile virus. Lets change the scenery though.

Lets say you were outside and the bugs in question were outside too. Would you kill them then. They have a right to eat too don't they. Yet I see people just go and step on them without a care in the world (oh there just bugs). I wonder though, if there was some way to detect whether or not a life form has a soul, would we act differently. I know some people may laugh, but when I am walking, I try my hardest not to step on any insects. During the summer when a bee makes its way into my bedroom, I capture it in a bottle and release it outside. I just think that they have a right to exist too. If there were no sidewalks and know streets, there would still be bugs crawling and flying around us. They have to search for food too. If the roles were reversed and they were towering over us, how would we feel? I know I wouldn't want to be stepped on...would you?

In some ways I do feel like a bug though. If went and committed a crime (for example a DUI), I'd most likely be thrown in jail and given my full sentence. Unless of course I am some big celebrity or rich person that people seem to worship. Then I'd get out and have my fans sign petitions to have my sentence reduced. A crime is a crime. There shouldn't be one punishment for someone as big as the stars, and one for someone as small as a ant. If you kill someone you should go to jail for life. If you are driving while under the influence than you should serve the time given to you.

I don't care how many signatures you get, or how famous you are. If you get 46 days than that 46 days should stick (if you ask me 46 days wasn't enough). And when she gets out and kills someone under the influence then what. She'd probably serve community service unless she hit someone else famous. How do you expect someone to learn from there mistakes if you pat them on the shoulder. Treat them like a "bug". Like you treat me. Don't give them a slap on the wrist. There shouldn't be two types of justice! There should only be one!

For Jodi

Actually this should be called, "Jodi Tag", but Naaaah! I didn't even notice the tag until she gave me the heads up, and even then I still managed not to do it until now. Lets just say i'm not a morning person. In any case Jodi, I don't know which one you tagged me for, so I will do them all.

First Up

a. I will write 10 interesting things about myself.
b. Then tag 10 people.
c. If you’ve been tagged, you do your own list and tag 10 more people. (”No tag backs.”)

1. I tend not to kill bugs when I see them. (maybe i'm on a guilt trip.)

2. When my foot is bothering me and I am walking home, I tend to count as many of one particular thing as I can see before I get home, to distract myself.

3. I don't feel interesting.

4. I have a spontaneous sense of humor.

5. My astrology sign is almost on the bullseye.

6. There are days where I could hug people, and there are days where I could strangle them.

7. If something of mines broke, and it is really really important to me, I'll go out and replace it the same day if I had the funds and a way to get it.

8. When I want REALLY want something, I can't get it when I want it.

9. I have never seen a National Monument in person.

10. I saw the Twin Towers for the first time (and the last) from a distance, a week before they were destroyed.

Here are my ten people. Ronnie Bobby Ricky and Mike, Greg, Marcia, Jan, Peter, Bobby, and Cindy. LMAO

The second meme is, "Eight random/strange facts about Me".

1. When I was 13 I wrote a few rap songs. I threw my raps through a hole in an unfinished room in a house we were renting, in the hopes that someone would find them and make me famous. However it never happened because the house burned down.

2. My ears don't match.

3. I pick my lips when I get worried.

4. I like ranch salad dressing on my macaroni and cheese.

5. Without warning I could start lip singing one of my favorite songs.

6. I almost always feel like an underdog, so I always root for the underdog.

7. Sometimes when I am playing a video game I act out the lines along with the characters. (hey I did say I wanted to be a voice actor)

8. I still carry my MP3 with me on days I don't even listen to it as a form of comfort and as a barrier.


The 3rd and final meme. "Ten things that make life grand".

1. Sunrise on a beautiful day.

2. Amel Larrieux's songs.

3. Everyday that I can still walk is grand.

4. Walking in the rain on a bad day.

5. A great tasting Cheese cake (I wish I could have one now...Mmmmm)

6. Blogging makes me pretty happy.

7. A peaceful night where there is no noise, and no loud neighbors.

8. My Nephew's smile. His smile always makes life grand.

9. and 10 are reserved for when or if I ever will find love and become a parent, because that would make me feel the grandest of them all.

I'm not going to really tag anyone, because I may be doing some tagging on Saturday. If you didn't know some of these before now you know.

Thanx for Tagging me Jodi.

Agents working as Optometrists???

Its been damn near a week...Again!

Okay, I know, I know, I need an excuse as to why I haven't posted in six days...I have one for ya!

The reason is that my eyes have been bugging me. It turns out that it wasn't eye strain from being on a computer all day at work, and at home. Well maybe a little...20/80, maybe 30/70. Well I don't know anything about ratios so I will just skip that. I have been having problems with my vision for a while now. Even with my glasses my vision seemed a little off, and I'd still get these throbbing headaches that made me feel like some of my blood vessels in my brain were going to explode.

I would have went to get my eyes checked sooner, but the calendar at work was filled with a number of requests off, and I didn't exactly know how to get to the optometrist on the bus-line. Truth is I was afraid that I would get lost, so I wanted to get a ride from my brother or mother. The only problem is I had to find a day that one of them had off, that wasn't filled on the calendar. Couldn't find one...well actually I did. My mother's birthday was free, but the hell with that.

There were days where I was actually put my head against my register, or hid behind the bottle machines and just closed my eyes, just to try and relax them. Finally it got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore. I decided that I needed to do this on my own regardless of my own self-doubt of my abilities as an independent. So last week I called and made the appointment, and then I went online to check out the city buses' website, to see which buses I could take to get me to Empire Vision. That process was kind of hard, because RGRTA (which I will be referring to as RTS after this) only had landmarks listed as options for a destination. I had to go to mapquest.com to get the address of the Empire Vision center that I went to two years ago. Oh I forgot to mention that they moved from there original location. I got the address, copied and pasted it to the destination portion of "Trip Planning" and I think I got 4 possible bus routes that I could have taken to get there.

My exam was Thursday. I got there about an hour early. One of the employees there said she would see if she could get me in early, but that didn't happen, and I was okay with that. I really didn't have anything frustrating happen to me, well except that they were talking about the season finale of LOST. Which I hadn't seen yet. It made me start saying stuff in my head like, "no no no no I'm not hearing you", and "Charlie isn't dead yet".

When it was time for my exam I met my optometrist for the day. I know that there are weird people in specific professions, but I had no idea...

When I first heard this guys voice and the way he said my name (Mr. W-), immediately the first thing that came to my mind was Agent Smith from The Matrix. This guy didn't look like Hugo Weaving, but he did kind of resemble the character Agent smith took over in the "real world" during The Matrix: Reloaded. We had no conflict or confrontation. Although the guy wouldn't look me in the eye, which was kind of irritating. "Agent Smith" proved rather useful though. He diagnosed me with astigmatism. Its not that my eyes got any worse, they just became "different". I got my glasses yesterday, and hopefully the headaches will be gone for good. Funny thing is my sister has an astigmatism to, and when I looked through her glasses, I noticed a weird looking distortion in them, yet I can't see it in mines. This made me wonder if the optician didn't put the correct prescription in my lens. The again, when I wear the glasses I feel kind of weird. Just like "Agent Smith" said I would feel. Maybe i'm just not supposed to see the distortion. In any case I have to get use to my new glasses, and find a case for them that fit.

This was like a Barbara Walter's Interview

So theres this meme going around, if you want the person to ask you five questions, you just say, "Interview Me". Since Chelle had Chris interview her, I decided that Chelle would get the chance at being Barbara Walters. At first I hesitated to say "Interview Me", because I wasn't sure what I was getting into. Now I know! These are some tough questions...Sort of.

1. Is there a certain scent or sound that sparks a good memory from you past? If so, what.

I swear I had this question before, it must have vanished into the abyss or something. At first I didn't think that I had any good memories. I had a pretty rough childhood. There were some good memories, but I guess there is only one batch of memories that matter. I guess this would fall in the category of sound and sight. Whenever I am playing a video game I think of when my brother and I would play. Whether it was co-op or against one another, it was fun. Now we don't get together as much so its at least nice enough to have those memories...Like this one.

2. How did you come to like, forgive my speeling, amrel lemuex?
(Its Amel Larrieux! You did that on purpose Chelle grr...) lol I could go look at yer blog to speel her name correctly. When was the first time you heard her?

If it wasn't for the (in my opinion) the bad direction that rap took, I would have never started to listen to R & B. So eventually I started listening to Mariah Carey. Eventually Mariah changed her type of music, and I lost interest in her. In 1995 I was on the verge of giving up on music and then one day I turned on the TV to watch MTV. A video countdown was on. What are the chances that the first video that I saw restored my faith in music and give me a new favorite singer...Not to mention some damn good music. Before Amel became a Solo Artist, she was a part of a duo (With producer Bryce P. Wilson) called Groove Theory. The first song released on their debut album was called "Tell Me". It was also their first music video too. Not only did Amel's singing and beauty catch my attention, but her hairstyles did too. You see in the video "Tell Me" she had two different hairstyles, and everytime they would show her wearing the second hairstyle, I would think that she was another woman. I thought Groove Theory had more than one woman in their ranks. It turned out that I was wrong. And if that didn't make me her fan, the fact that the MTV VJ thought the same thing, clinched it. (Tell Me if you want me to, give you all my time, I wanna make it good for u, cuz u blow my mind, I promise Girl that I'll be true, ur the perfect find, so Tell me if you want me to)

3. You have been doing so well with your goal to eat better. Are you this way with all goals you make for yourself? Is your willpower this strong at all times? Or was there a time you did not follow through and regret it?

HAH! I wish! I made a lofty goal on purpose, just so I could stop myself from eating sweets (kind of as a way to trick myself). Mainly the the BIG THREE (Reeses Peanutbutter Cups, Oreo cookies, and Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies). I ended up eating those TV dinners that I said I wouldn't, and I also had a milkshake, and some nachos with cheese, oh and two pieces of small candy from Japan (I was curious). Other than that I am doing fine. To put it in a nutshell, I am NOT good with all of my goals...Gosh NO. In fact I have been trying to get a car for the last seven years to no avail. My willpower...I have no willpower. To prove it, I'll have a Jedi do a mind trick on me. Seriously though, I may not have strong will power, but when a crucial time comes, I do step up and get some serious determination, and when that happens...Watch OUT!

4. You are such a great uncle. What age do you think is too old to become a parent for the first time?

First let me say thanx for the compliment! Personally I think as long as a person has enough life in them to raise a child and as long as a person has the energy and the patience to take the role as a parent, than I think a person at 60 could become a parent. Heck I read in a paper awhile back that a 65 year old woman gave birth to a healthy baby. So HEY more power to her. So whether its by giving birth or adopting, what I think doesn't really matter where a potential parent is concerned. Let me just add that there are so many children out there without parents that need love and attention. Sure there are infants, but there are also young children that need adopting. They deserve love too.

5. How do you feel about interracial relationships? Have you ever been attracted to a vanilla chic? Heck even any othah flavor?

Hey it was supposed to be five questions, your sneaking in bonus ones into this interview. Wow this is an interesting question. I have never been asked this before in blogworld...
First let me just say, that for the rest of my life I will be a African American, or a black man...or another word, that I choose not to say. For the rest of my life I will be stared at when I go somewhere where I don't fit because of the color of my skin. For the rest of my life, there will be some people from different races that will walk by me and either feel hatred towards me, or feel intimidated by me. One day I was with a friend, she is vanilla (as you cleverly put LOL). We went to a mall and ate at a friendly's restaurant. I can't tell you how many stares we got, while we were there. Not to mention the fact the waitress didn't serve us in a timely matter. It made me feel so uncomfortable. So unwanted, but I sat there, and you want to know why, my friend sat there with me. She didn't care what they thought about us. We aren't even in a relationship, we are just friends. They just made an assumption. So what I'm saying is YES, oh yes. As long as she (NO matter what her ethnicity is) is willing to be with me, than the sky is the limit, and we can fly over the unsteady eyes together. Yes I have been attracted to "Vanilla Chics" before (still am, and always will be attracted to them). Vanilla, caramel, chocolate, cocoa...I love ice cream! LMAO. Yeah I have, and I think I have been shot down by a woman of every ethnicity. For the record I have bad luck when it comes to women. I always end up being "just a friend". I'm thinking its because of the geek in me. I could go on with this a little further...about relationships in general, and whether or not I'm ready to be in one, but you didn't ask...HAHA.


If you are brave enough to play….
Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

At least I didn't die!

This May started off in a seemingly never ending way. You see I posted on May first, and didn't post again until May 13. Part of it was because of what I thought was me being sick, which in fact may have been allergies.

I had a slight fever, a runny nose, watery eyes, and sneezing that never seemed to end. I felt like crap...No wait crap probably wouldn't want to feel how I felt.

Achoo!

I said that more than anything else, and I was like that for a little more than a week. I would have thought it was the flu or something, if my friend and co-worker didn't point out that her husband was having problems with allergies, and that I could be dealing with it as well. To my knowledge I never had any problems what so ever with allergens. I wonder whats going on now.

Finally I am all better, but you know what??? My computer isn't! A couple of days ago, my computer died on me. I didn't even know it. I was lying in my bed trying to get some sleep, when all of a sudden, my door opens. "Charles did you know your computer isn't working"? I had no clue. I went downstairs and pressed the button on the tower to turn it on...NOT A PEEP! I went and got the manual to look at the trouble shooting section. It said to leave my computer unplugged for about a minute and then try turning it on. Nothing happened, so I became upset, and I didn't want to talk to anyone asking me obvious questions (your computer's not working). I unplugged it and left it in a corner and tried it the next day, still nothing. I think the thunderstorm we had the night before my computer officially said adieu struck it down.

Its funny though, I had a surge protector. Didn't I just restore it from a computer virus? Ugh...Anyways I gave up and decided to buy a new computer with my car money. I'll post about my new computer some other time. At least I will be able to play that new game Spore when it comes out, and at least I don't have to worry about color schemes and cordless mouses for the time being. That reminds me. I wonder if I can play That old Star Trek: TNG game I have that was too much for my dead computer. I'm going to find out. Most likely I can, but apparently I can't use my computer to watch LOST episodes online with there new viewer. I thought everything should be compatible with Windows Vista by now.

In The Hopes That This will Help me Unwind

Occasionally, I have to close on Sunday. I don't mind in the football off-season. So I was glad to give the mothers a break today. It was a quiet day for the most part. I had know problems and nothing to challenging to do. So I did some odds and ends things like a little organizing. Eventually I got bored with that and I decided to go and get our Compliance quiz for Western Union and Money Orders to study it. I have a feeling I am going to get stuck with the Audit again. It always seems to happen when I am the opener on a weekday (which is even more rare).

Anyways, one of the questions on the quiz is, "What triggers a customer into filling out a CTR (Currency Transaction Report)? The answer by the way is a customer sending more than ten thousand dollars via Western Union.

It's ironic that I was studying the quiz and a customer comes in to send a THIRTEEN thousand dollar Western Union. Unfortunately she came after my help left, and unfortunately I may know everything there is to know about CTR's, and what triggers it, but when it comes to actually doing it, I admit I get panicky. The highest amount on a western union I have ever did by myself was five thousand dollars. About three or four years ago I did one for ten thousand dollars, but my boss lady was with me, and she knew everything. I had it made then. Tonight, was had me a bit nervous. I called the boss lady and she told me where the CTR form was, and what I needed to do. Then I called the Manager on Duty to help me count all of the money. That didn't work out very well at first because it was way too much money to count by hand. Luckily for us that TODAY WITH THE MODERN TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES MAKING LEAPS AND BOUNDS, THEIR WAS A MIRACLE WITHIN OUR GRASP.

A Cash scale! (Isn't that so cool)

So we used that to count all of the money (even though I still had to count it all by hand when I had to count out). It wasn't as bad as I thought it was. I was panicking at first thinking that I was alone in this, when I wasn't. I got the help I needed and I am very grateful for it. The only problems I had was that it would take time, and I was the only one in the store trained to do the service desk. So the other customers had to wait, and I was sorry for that. The other problem was, it was such a large sum of money. I was worried that I would have some kind of dumb luck and some criminal would come in and rob me. FORTUNATELY NOTHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED.

Thank Goodness.

So all that was left for me to do was to finish the transactions. We couldn't do it all on one, so she had to fill out three forms. The max that you can send per transaction via a quick collect is five thousand dollars. Usually I get out a half an hour early. Tonight I left fifteen minutes late. It was a little unnerving, but since we made the customer happy, and since she smiled at me and thanked me, I figured that it was worth the the difficulty.

Two things

First thing!

I was on my break earlier this evening. The Six o'clock news was on, and I really didn't want to hear about anything bad so I changed the Channel looking for some laughs. The Simpsons come on at 6 in syndication on our local fox station. So I watched that and got a few laughs, when all of a sudden, "We interrupt regular programming for the following Special Report". Damn more bad news, can't I watch Homer Simpson stuff a slice of pizza in between his fat rolls without being interrupted because the president vetoed a bill that EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW HE WAS GOING TO VETO IN THE FIRST PLACE...HELLO. Not to mention the fact that it was on three other networks, and one of those three owns the fox affiliate. I got up and turned the TV off! They just want to make themselves look good and the Democrats look bad. Either way I don't care about there bickering. What I care about is lives are being lost, while cheap talk and posturing on both sides is wasting time and the very money they need for the war. It just goes to show you that politics is just bull. Nothing but a waste of time if you ask me.

Secondly

Everyone knows by now that I am counting down to Amel Larrieux's new album, and I want it badly. But...Do you know what I am really dying for??? I have been waiting for it since October of last year, and now its seven days away. I have been waiting for .Hack GU Volume 2 Reminisce. I have been dying for it, and I can't wait until I can become the "Terror Of Death" again. The .Hack games have become my favorite now over Final Fantasy. It may surpass Xenosaga if I like volume 2, Especially if it has more scenes like the one below. One thing is for sure though, Haseo has taken Over as my favorite video game character. Now I have a dark character that I can relate to and a character of light that I can relate to, even though Spider-Man is going through a dark period right now. I wish I had this kind of power. I could rule the world HahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA. (LOL) Then there would be no preempting of my favorite shows, unless it was really really important.

A-Z Questions.

I was tagged by Shari! I didn't even know it because I had been a little distracted and haven't really done any blogging of any kind. I got a lot of things to write about, but no motivation.

A- Available or Single?
Single (don't wanna be)
B- Best Friend.
Miss her
C- Chocolate cake or chocolate pie?
Cake (Wonder what Chocolate pie taste like!)
D- Dress up or casual? (your typical attire)
Casual, You'd only catch me in Dress clothes at an interview, wedding or my funeral.
E- Essential Item.
My playstations 2 and 3.
F- Favorite Color.
I typed with it! Oh and red.
G- Gummi Bears or Worms.
Worms, but I can't eat them right now. (sigh)
H- Hobbies
blogging, reading, gaming, gaming and more gaming, listening to music. I would like to start riding a bicycle again.
I- Indulgence
Gaming.
J- January or February
January, because it's warmer. LMAO February can be bone-chilling.
K- Kids
I hope someday that the answer to my prayer is yes.
L- Life is incomplete without…
purpose, and finding that special someone
M- Money or Love (unlimited)choose only one.
Definitely Love! Money doesn't last, but I believe even through death my love will still be there.
N- Night Owl or Morning Person
Night Owl-i'm Zombie Charles in the morning.
O- Oranges or Apples?
Oranges
P- Phobias/Fears.
Heights, and large crowds
Q-Quote personally from you.
I don't have a personal quote. You can quote me on that.
R- Rock Star or Actor (which would you be?)
Actor, well a voice actor anyways.
S- Share something you've learned recently
I learned that I think differently from other people. I see things differently from the majority and for that I am on the outside looking in. It's alright though, sometimes it can be like watching a movie.
T- Tag Three People.
They won't do this but. Ari, Omar, and Chelle.
U- Unknown or little known fact about you.
My right ear is slightly deformed. No one wouldn't notice it unless I mention it.
V– Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals.
Oppressor! Animal flesh...Yummy
W- Worst habit/habits.
I pick my bottom lip when I become worried about things. Sometimes until it bleeds.
X– XXXXs or OOOOs
I don't play tic tac toe anymore.
Y- Your "first love" ...what was their name?
Pon, but she didn't feel the same way as I did.
Z- Zodiac sign
The Twins!

Something That Reminds Me of You

I have been blogging for a little over two years now, and I feel that I have gotten to know some people through their blogs. Some are still here while others have either left or are basically on there way out and haven't come to terms with it yet. Either way I still think about them, and how some of there posts have impacted my life and a memorable way. Hey whether you are here or not, or whether or not you still read me I still read you, and for some reason, sometimes I find that I see things that remind me of certain bloggers and there blogs.

See if you can figure these three pictures out before you click them to find out who they remind me of whenever I see them.

When I first saw this first one, I instantly came up with the idea for this post.


Did I mention that I have been planning to do this for months. I had been itching to scratch this instant lottery ticket.

Saw this one on the way to work almost everyday that I walked on the particular route that it's on to get to work. I smiled every time that I saw it, and thought to myself, "That's so Wrong" (LOL).


If you knew the next bloggers screen-name than you'd know why the next item always reminds me of him. LMAO



This is actually margarine and not butter, but it still has the same effect.

Those are some of a few things that remind me of bloggers out there. There is more though.

If I turn on a TV and Star Trek is on, the first person that come to mind is Deslily. She knew Deforest Kelly, which is SO cool. I never pictured him as any other character other Than Doctor McCoy. I stood corrected when I read one of her blog posts about other films and TV shows that he did.

When I watch a cooking show like Rachel Ray, I think of Chris. The way he talks about the foods he cook makes me hungry and makes me wish that I could teleport to his house when he has a barbecue.

When I look at my yard I think about Chelle, because our yard is in bad condition, and whenever I hear about how she is going to hook hers up and what not, it makes me wish that I could make a garden or that I could walk into my back yard and see deer or exotic birds that we don't have here where I live.

All of you have something special or a gift or a talent, or even a blessing that I wish I could have at least fraction of.

For the record, I finally scratched the bedazzled ticket. I lost! Better luck next time.

Hey if you don't have any inspiration for a blog post, why not give this a shot.

Later!

Thursday Thirteen

I haven't did a T-13 in a long, long while so I thought it would be fun to do one again

Here We Go!

Thirteen Questions I am tired of hearing at work!

1. Do you have a bathroom? Yes and before you ask me where it is let me just stab my pen into my brain, in the direction you should go.

2. Are you open? If I wasn't, then why am I standing here.

3. Is tonight the Mega Millions or the Lotto? For the last time, Mega is on Tuesdays and Fridays, and the New York State Lottery is on Wednesdays and Saturdays. How many times have I told you JEESH!

4. Where are the shopping carts? You just came from outside right???

5. What time is your Citizen's Bank open 'til? First off, it's not my bank and second, if you are a member shouldn't you know already?

6. What time does your bottle return area close? HELLO, it's at the desk? What time does the desk close?

7. What time do you stop doing Western Union? Read number six!

8. How do I get to your store? Do I look like a map?

9. (question I have to ask) Good morning/afternoon/evening Thank you for calling _______ This is Charles speaking, how may I help you?

10. Do you sell Darien Lake tickets? NO haven't in years.

11. Do you sell Kegs? Get your drink on somewhere else!

12. (during a holiday week) What time does your store close? 6O'clock 6O'clock 6O'clock 6O'clock 6O'clock 9 O'clock 9 O'clock 9 O'clock 9 O'clock 9 O'clock. Sometimes during the holidays when we are open regular hours and I get asked that question. When I tell them we are open our regular hours they ask, "what time is that"? grrr

13. Can I get a roll of quarters from you? When I tell them no that I don't have it, they get mad, and throw a tantrum. Once I really said what I felt. "We are not a bank sir"! I felt so much better afterwards.

Wishing for happier Z's

I just had what I would consider the worst nightmare this year. It doesn't make much sense so bear with me.

I'm walking through what appears to be a hallway in "school" (at least that's what I think it is), when all of a sudden I see a crowd of people. In this crowd I see a guy punch someone. It turns out to be a young woman, one who I used to know at work. I used to work with the guy too. All of a sudden the crowd gets pissed at him, and he picks her up, and walks away with her. I can visually see her crying. What happens next is even more weird. I continue to walk the hallway when I come across my brother, but not my brother. He says hi to me and I say hi back, all the while his face keeps changing, between his and someone else's. Then we part ways and I am heading downstairs via some escalators, but before that, I come to a strange coin. It's not perfectly round. Its more like an oval shape. I noticed that it had a picture of what I think was a woman on it, but I wasn't to sure. It turns out I wasn't the only one who noticed, because someone else walks up to me and asks me if they can see it. I let the person hold while they are taking a look at it. The next thing I know, he throws it to the floor. I pick it up and head outside.

Miraculously (poof), I'm outside with all of my other "classmates" standing on a huge mound of snow. Most of us are on it, but some were standing in snow on the ground. I noticed that the the young woman and the guy who punched her were smiling to each other. I also noticed that across from us there was another large mound of snow covering a building and a street sign. (I know so far this isn't scary...here it comes.)

All of a sudden things start to change. You know those jet planes that you see millionaire's have in the movies? Well I see one of those fly by us, and as it does the scenery changes. It goes from winter to Springtime at night. All of a sudden all of us are standing in front of a house, and down the street at a corner things are about to change big time. There was a house, probably as big as ours. I don't exactly remember the color, but I do remember seeing the wires branching off into another direction toward a pole and some nearby trees. The house was at a corner, at the end of our street on the left side. If it had an address it would have been listed as the other streets name.

We could see the back of the house, but not before the jet plane crashed into it. I stood there for a few seconds in disbelief. Then I decided to run towards the house. I grabbed my cellphone in panic and dialed 911. I don't even think I told them where all of this happened. I also noticed other people looking out of the windows to see what was going on. When I got there I noticed one person looking out of a broken window who look like she should have been dead. No one in the top half of the house should have survive. When the others and I got to the front of the house we saw some little children sitting out on the porch crying. I told the others to take them back to the house while we try and check for survivors. Then I woke up.

It seemed so real and so scary, but now that I'm awake thinking about, It seemed that the house should have been obliterated by the high octane fuel when the plane crashed into it. I didn't even notice any debris, and the flames weren't as bad as they should have been. Still thought it was very scary. I think next time I won't experiment with my routine before bed. One thing is for sure, I have been welcomed to insomnia land with open arms. It's 4 in the morning, and I have to start walking to work at 6am. I think I am going to sleep when I get home from work. During the daylight!

Bring Back The Cords

The mouse connected to my PC is in its last days. So last month on March 23rd, I decided that I needed a new one. I went to my favorite store (Best Buy) to buy one and Photoshop Elements 5.0 as well. When I got to the section an Employee came over and asked me if their was any particular type of mouse that I was looking for. I told him not really, and then he started point out different types of mouses their were. Most of the ones he pointed out were Cordless.

I like the idea of living comfortably, but I don't need everything in my life made easy. Especially if it will cost me, and I'm not talking about the price of the mouse either. If I buy a cordless mouse, that means it would require me to plug it in somewhere to charge it. That means another spot on my Surge protector that I do NOT have.

• Cable Modem
• Speakers
• Monitor
• Computer
• Printer/fax
• Lamp

Besides, that would mean I'd have to waste more electricity when I could just plug one with a cord into the back of my computer. So finally I tell him that I don't want a cordless mouse. He tells me okay and he points to the three (Yes THREE) standard mouses on there shelves. None of them really matched the color scheme of my PC so I sat there trying to see if I could find any other "mice" cords on the shelves.

What happened next was hinted on my April 9th, 2007 post. I'm kinda used to that, but to actually hear the guy who "helped" me whispering that he was watching me, was upsetting. But that is not what this post is about.

Finally I just picked one because of the conversation that I heard, and took my stuff to the front to pay and leave.

My point is everything is going cordless. We have our phones, we have our remotes, we have our car starters, we have our video game controllers (i'm gonna take a look around the house), hand-held video game systems, Cell-phones, MP3's, speakers, headphones, and headsets. I probably didn't even cover everything, and these alone can make your electric company happy.

I think I can only go so far into the 21st century. I'm happy not being up to date with with all of these technological Marvels. Save some money in the process too.

Hey Corporate America, Everyone in the World isn't rich. Bring back the cords!

I'm Not Open...Now, There Their It's Alright

I've always realized that the English language had words that are pronounced the same way, but with different meanings.

Where-wear

are-our (kind of)

hear-here

mail-male

know-no

won-one

write-right

I admit that the words "are" and "our" throw me off once and awhile, but the two words that always seem to get me ARE "there" and "their". They always catch me in THEIR web of similarities. I bet if you look back in all of my post I used the context of those to words in the wrong way. I'm probably using it the wrong way now. Lately I have been trying very hard to use those two deceptive words the way they are (they're LOL) supposed to be used. I never realized something so silly could be so hard. I didn't care I would just put up any THERE OR THEIR up like an Osbourne would say a swearword. Was I trying to make a point??? Probably not, but I challenge any of you who don't have A degree in the English language to write a post using THERE or THEIR the right way. Before you do, check all of your previous posts.

There-Referring to a place that has already been mentioned.
Their-Belonging to them or belonging to a thing.

Last night after I had closed, I had a woman who came up and asked if I was closed. She came up earlier to cash in some lottery tickets, and THERE weren't any close signs up. The second time around the signs were up, and I was in the office counting out. I didn't have one sign, not two signs-I had three close signs on the counter top of our desk. I wasn't even out on the floor. I was in the office counting out. Am I closed?

Yes

Obviously, yet she kept asking if I was closed. She was short, but not short enough that she couldn't see the signs. I was back in the office trying to decide whether or not to step out onto the desk and tell her that I was closed. As usual though, I was analyzing the possibility that she was smarter than I gave her credit for. She could have either:

1. Been blind as a bat.

2. Dumb as a doorknob

Or three, trying to lure me from the office to ask me to cash her ticket. So I decided that I would stay back THERE and yell to her that I was closed, but for some reason she didn't hear me.

Must have been 4-Deaf as a squid. Finally she walked away and asked someone else, and boy was I relieved.

This may seem like a video game post

Last Friday, I was supposed to go and visit an acquaintance but I couldn't, because my youngest sister was ill. My mother asked me to stay home and check up on her from time to time. So I agreed, but I told her that I would leave for a little bit and go to a mall to pick up a DVD that I wanted and a game.

When I got to the GameStop at the mall. I asked the clerk if he had Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. He said yes, and got it for me. All while this was happening I noticed his cheerful demeanor had changed. It looked as though he wished that he wasn't there anymore. I was curious, I thought it was something I said, or had done (Did I put deodorant on this morning). I know I did, so it must have been something else. Then I notice him gulp some air and finally he said, "We have to ask for ID now when ever someone buys certain video games".

He then told me that it had something to do with Senator Hillary Clinton wanting to make a law requiring video game stores to proof people that look too young to purchase video games rated Teen or Mature. He said that their store started enforcing the policy so they could get ready when and if it became law. I laughed at him and asked him in a nice way if I looked under thirty. I gave him my ID and said, "sure no problem, I understand, because I proof people at my job". I didn't even know the game had a Mature rating. I discovered after I purchased the game it was because it has beer in it as one of its drinks, and it has some sexual references. I had already knew about the blood and gore.

I thought to myself, what made him nervous about asking me for ID. I know there are some bad apples out there who get upset when you ask for ID, but not when it comes to a video game. This only seems to happen mostly when someone is aching for cigarettes or alcohol. I admit I did feel a little hurt, but not by the question. I felt hurt by his reaction. I kind of felt like he had a bad experience with another African American, and it was stereotyped onto me. He seemed like a nice guy and all, but his reaction made me a little nervous. I was thinking about not going back there, but then I realized that I have gotten the same reaction just about everywhere that I have been (followed or awkward looks as if I don't belong there). Besides, he managed to get me to reserve a copy of the next .Hack game that I have been waiting forever for.

Anyone remember last year's story meme???

Last year at the end of April I did a Meme (a what? Hope I didn't scare anyone). I began a story, I set up the story, and when I got to a point where I felt I could let someone else continue, I tagged them. I got a few people interested, but it never got finished. So I have decided that I will begin it again and finish it. I didn't want to leave in limbo, and I don't have much to write about now anyways, so I guess I could do this. I'm no storyteller, and I never wrote one before, but I will give it a shot!

Three Months Down

December 27th, 2006, I decided that I wouldn't eat certain foods for a whole year, and while I did fail at preventing myself from eating one of the types of foods listed, I'm still continuing on with the ones I haven't given into.

The whole purpose of this ordeal was because of high cholesterol and lack of energy, self-esteem, and because I'm not in shape. Also because all of those sweets that I have been eating will eventually catch up to me, and I don't think that I would like the consequences of that.

It has been a rough three months. At first I was dying for my Little Debbie Snacks, but then eventually that craving went away. I actually walked by a display at work, and thought to myself, "eh...Not interested". So I'd like to think that I am doing pretty well. I haven't been to a McDonald's, Burger King, or a Wendy's since either. Hopefully I can keep it that way too.

I can't deny that there have been cravings. In fact, last week I had a dream that I was eating a tub of sugar cookies that I used to buy at work. I could taste them in my sleep, and I didn't have a care in the world. It was as if I was in some other Charles' body in some other dimension eating a big bowl of cookies and loving it. Cookie Monster had nothing on me in that dream, and when I woke up I wanted to strangle that dream. I felt as if my sub-conscience is in a battle with my will power for control of my eating habits. What I want to know is, who has dreams about eating??? First time that I recall ever having a dream like that.

However I did do one thing that I have mixed feelings about. I drunk and energy drink from Mountain Dew. I kind of feel bad for doing it, but at the same time I don't. Doesn't make sense right!!! Well Last Sunday (not this past one, but the one before) I was so tired, because I didn't get any sleep the two nights before. I came to work exhausted, and as we all know fatigue isn't a valid reason to call in. So the whole time I'm at work I am standing there, and the only thing keeping me from falling over is whatever it is that I am leaning on. I only used what energy I had to stand on my own when I was helping a customer. I had to constantly, and consciously will my eyes to stay open. In fact I think I dozed off in front of my register for about 10 seconds.

After that I decided that I needed an energy boost. My coworker suggested that I try Mountain Dew's MDX. She said she took it and the next thing she new she was wide awake. So I decided that I had no choice. I took a few sips of it and ten minutes later I was bouncing off of the walls. She was right, that stuff did wake me up, and that is why I have mixed feelings about drinking it. I didn't drink it all, only 10 sips (if that).

All of this makes me wonder what I will do on December 28th 2007. (yeah I'm optimistic)

There is NO half!

When your buying something to eat, do you want to eat the whole thing, or are you gonna only eat half?

Did someone cut them in half?

My half is Bigger than your half!

Maybe those really have nothing to do with this post, but after you read this, maybe you'll understand where I am coming from.

Sharing is a good thing right. "Give half of it to your brother". OK fine I can accept that. What I can't accept is being called a "half brother".

When my brother used to work at the same place I'm at, there was this girl (a co-worker) that came up to the desk and asked if we were related. I told her yeah, that he is my brother. She then tells me that she didn't believe him, and that we don't look alike. Then she asks me if we are "half brothers". I thought about what she said for a moment, and I told her that I wasn't going to answer her question. She gets frustrated and she asks me why I won't? I think she said asked me if we were half brothers a couple more times before I said I won't won't answer your question the way you asked it. Finally she clued in on what I meant and asked me if we had different fathers.

I told her yeah, but he isn't my half brother. Yes it's true my brother and I have different fathers. I've known Jevon all of his life. I watched him grow up from a baby. I heard him cry when he had colic. I felt sorrow for him, when he had swallowed some boric acid and had to be rushed to the hospital. I was there when he had surgery on his wrist. I have spent time with my brother and watched him grow up into the young independent strong man that he is today. Twenty-one years of his life, and only once him and I ever argued...ONE time.

I love my brother with all of my heart, not half of it. So if there is someone out there that don't understand why I hate the term "half brother", then they must not be close to their's.

Blood is thicker than water.
I will always have my brother.
Half the time I can rely on my friends.

OMG

(Insanely panting)

OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH!

Amel Larrieux has a new Album coming out on May 22nd. Caught me totally off guard in a good way!


Oh Yeah!

Am I Blunt?

Recently it was brought to my attention that I can be blunt. I always thought I was shy and timid. When I say stuff, I usually bow down and agree to whatever somebody else is saying. But this kid at work told me that he that he likes that I say what I feel. Because I guess I wasn't feeling good, and I told him that I didn't feel like talking to anyone at the time. I told him, that, "I'm not blunt". Then I got the response of, "Yes you are Charles". He left me thinking about it.

Absorbing It!

Then Finally I came to the conclusion he was wrong. Then the week after...

Why does everything seem to happen to me at the laundromat?

I had an epiphany there. A woman came to the laundromat, to bring some magazines about her faith. She said hi to me and asked me if I would like to read one. I was sitting there in my own little world I guess and somehow I managed a response.

One word

NO!

There was no conversation afterwards. I merely continued playing a video game (or maybe being brainwashed by it), while I was in my little world.

Then it hit me, "_____ is right, I guess I am kind of blunt". I never saw it I guess. Knowing oneself is harder than knowing someone else.

Hmmm, I wonder if I am a ass too?

Rule #2: Express Yourself!

Now that I think about it, all of these rules are going to be tough.

I always hold back how I truly feel. Never expressing what I really think, while I put my head down. It may be a good thing when I am at work when I deal with customers, but it's not good when it comes to my personal/social existence. I just bottle things up and and just say Amen. When the truth is, I would rather Agree to Disagree.

If my vision of how the world looks differs from another person's, shouldn't it be my right as a living, breathing, human being to voice my opinion.

For example, there was that time when my Step-mom and my Dad were arguing over scrabble. They were arguing about a word being miss-spelled. I got frustrated and I was about to get out of my chair to go to my room, but my dad yelled at me and told me to sit down. I wanted to tell them to stop, that it was just a game, but I just sat there and dealt with it. I wondered if my dad even remembered that when I was younger, I witness my mom's former boyfriend beating her.

I always put other peoples feelings first, before mines. NO More!

I have to lift my head up and look into that person or persons eyes and say what I think PROUDLY!

I'm going to say what I feel, and if they disagree, than we can agree to disagree and leave it at that.

Bottled Up

I have been on an emotional roller-coaster of messy proportions. I have been high, I have been low, I went left than right, and then smack dab in the middle. The darkness I felt has dulled, but even so it's still there. I can still feel it as if it were gnawing at my soul in and ever so lovingly way, as if it were a cat trying it's best to "pet" me. The sad thing is that it doesn't know anything about "petting". It so desperately wants to come out and take over me, but I have managed to keep it at bay. The last time I gave in, I ended up hurting my wrist pretty badly by punching the propane cabinet in front of work. My hand hasn't been the same since. I remember the anger, and the negative thoughts I had at that time. I wanted everyone that angered me to be hurt in some way. Blogging at the time was a release valve. It worked somewhat, but it didn't stop me when I was away from my computer.

Recently that anger came back, and the littlest things have been activating the darkness. I'd like to believe that I have become stronger than I was a year ago. Then again, we all know what happens when we bottle things up. Just like when we shake a carbonated beverage and open it up, we can BLOW UP and nine times out of ten no one will see it coming. My hand is on the cork, but the pressure seems to be too strong. My eyes are closed because I am afraid to face "myself" (or my darker self, whatever you want to call it). It's not like I have a split personality or anything like that. I am fully aware of my Faculties, I'm just not sure of how to control them. I have to remember that kindness kills hate. I started being kinder last year and I think it also helped.

But...

I had been debating the reasons for the combustible feelings I have had recently, and in the past. I have come to the conclusion that it's my job that is doing this to me. The logical solution to remedy this situation is to remove myself from what is causing me to have a myriad amount of emotions. Hence forth, I am looking for a new job.

Expression of Feeling

Words Over Time

I can't remember the last time I seen you
I can't remember the last words we said
Words between us seem to have always been far and between
Like my childhood
Questions
Words, any words I wanted from you
Where were you when I needed you
Once and awhile wasn't enough
I grew up feeling alone
Puzzled, and you still have the pieces
Wondered if you loved me
Wondered if you REALLY loved me
Wondered if I was a Burden
"I Miss You"
Remember that
I still search for those questions
The child in me still misses you
But the words, won't come out
There being held back
Are the words being held back in you too?


Accept ME!

You don't know how I feel
I really do care
I may seem cold to you
but looks can be deceiving
I have just felt so used many times
friendships just seem to be in disguise
Acceptance is one thing I need
Changing me is the last thing I want
There aren't many people out there who genuinely care
Are you one of them?
I don't need a weekend friend
I need a Real friend

Lingering Book

I have been reading books now more than ever. For some reason, I have been feeling it more now than before. Maybe it's because I have been looking for something different. Who Knows, as long as I enjoy it, it shouldn't be an issue. The last two books were sci-fi adventure types. I don't know what category this new book I am reading falls under, but while I was on break at work, I decided to check out the books in the magazine aisle.

How does one pick a book? I think that is an interesting and valid question, because I sat there in the aisle for 7 out of the 15 minutes I had during my break trying to answer that question. Then I noticed a bright yellow book staring at me out of the corner of my eye. Then I looked at the title. Ironically, the title of the book is a phrase that I used to use in frustration, while I was at work on one of those "Bad everything that can go wrong and does" Kind of days. I had one of those last night by the way. The title of the book.



I picked it up, and I turned it over and like I did with Decipher, I read the premise on the back.
"What if your only fear was a lingering death? What if someone guaranteed to never let it happen, no matter what? Then what if you changed your mind?

It caught my attention, and then it made me think. What WOULD I do if I was in that situation. What would YOU do? I thought about that for awhile. I thought, "What if I became a father and I was going to slowly die from some wretched disease, would I give in, or would I fight to see my child's Graduation, or marriage? What if I found out right now that I have months to live, and my dream was within my grasp?

What Then?

If two Death Angels Approached me and told me that they would never let me suffer one single iota no matter what, I don't think I could agree to that. Sure I would suffer, but at least I wouldn't miss some of the greatest moments in my life. At least there would be laughter and smiles. I'd like to think that would be worth while.

If you haven't noticed, I have been in a bad place as of late, so you may read some negative and dark things here. Even my dreams have been kind of dark, and this book affected the last dream I had. I haven't felt that humorous Charles in awhile. I kind of miss him.

What are we saving?

Do you ever wonder if you are guinea pigs to the government. They move Daylight Savings Time up earlier from the first Sunday in April to Tomorrow March 11th. Normally I open the desk at Seven, after I get off of work at 9:30 at night. However this year I am lucky that I am closing the desk. I would have lost an hour of sleep because of DST. On top of that it takes me an hour to unwind after I get home a half an hour later from walking from work. I read somewhere that they did this as a test run. Are they trying to see how we react to losing an hour of sleep, or is it to see how fast we can recover ourselves when we are thrown a curve ball.

Either way, I just wanted to let as many people I know to set your clocks an hour ahead. Just in case you are in the same situation as me, and you have to work too.

"Spring Forward"

Update: I meant that DST is on March 11th. I'm sorry for the confusion, and it has been corrected.

Feline Friday: Will You turn Off The Light.

Can you imagine a cat that forces his way upstairs and lies on your bed, and visually let you know that you should turn the light off because it's bothering him. I didn't think it was possible, but Bouk seems to act more like a human than a cat. I still can't seem to catch Jet with the tip of his tail towards his head. When I do I will post it. I wish I could have gotten a better picture of this, but I didn't have a camera at the time, so I used my phone.

If you have a cat and you want to participate in Feline Friday, Click Here

Sniff, Sniff

I'm feelin' sort of blue.

December 7, 2005, I'd like to think my life was changed for the better. Four pounds and nine ounces of joy, but I was scared at first to hold him. I was scared that I would drop him or hurt him in some way but eventually I got over it. The first six months, I was so scared. I worried about sudden infant death syndrome. He also had trouble breathing, so I worried about that too. It seemed like I worried too much because he was a fighter. In fact in some of the pictures I have, his hands were balled up in fists. I remember how I took so many pictures it made his mother jealous and kind of upset at me. He is my first nephew and he means so much to me, and I just love the little guy.

Now he is 15 months and a busy body. At first I wasn't sure that he liked me. I mean everything I did seemed to be wrong. When I bought him the Tickle Me Elmo Extreme, he cried because he was afraid of it while it was moving and talking. When I came into the room he would kind of play with me, but if someone else came in also he would go to them. For example, he would go to his Grandma (All kids love there grandmas), and then when his uncle Jevon came over, I felt left out too.

Recently though him and I started playing a lot more and became closer. We'd throw the ball back and forth to each other. I'd pick him up and let him play with the magnets on the fridge, much to everyone else's objections. He finally stopped being scared of the TMX so I would watch him play with that. I also spun him around until he got dizzy. I remember after I put him down he'd started spinning himself around, it was kind of cute seeing him fall to the floor from being dizzy. Sunday I tried to teach him to jump from the floor, but he isn't confident enough to do that yet, so instead my nephew would just stomp one foot onto the floor. It had my brother and I cracking up. We had so much fun, but when it was time for me to end the fun because of fatigue from working, my nephew would get sad to see me go upstairs to my room. He would cry for me, and it would make me sad and break my heart.

This week I made an exception when he cried for me, and I stayed downstairs and played with him. Although at one point I felt so tired, I ended up lying on the couch, and he ended up walking all over me.

I stayed down there because my sister has been trying so very hard to get her place, and she finally has. This week she started moving her things to her place, and you know what that means...

I won't be able to see my Jalani as much as I used to, so this made ME cry (I guess that can be considered my most recent cry then). They left a little over 30 minutes ago and I miss him already. I didn't even get a picture for this moment.

I'll miss the infectious smiles everyday to greet me.

I'll miss the running up to my legs and sticking hands up to ask me to pick him up.

I'll miss the running around the house chasing the cats to pet them.

I'll miss the curiosity he exudes just about every minute of every hour of every day.

I'll miss watching him grow up like I did during his first year. He was so tiny, and now he is getting so big. I'm proud of him, and happy to be his uncle.

I miss you Jalani.

This one's for you Shari

Shari Tagged me, and I was more than happy to do this m... oh yeah Jeff I almost forgot you hate that word. LOL

1. First Name? Charles
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yeah, my dad
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Gosh, I can’t remember that’s a good thing right?
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? NO…I can’t even read it. It’s decent if I go slow.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Pork bologna. I can’t live without my pork.
6. KIDS? Someday, I hope.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I’d like to think so, after all, I’m a pretty nice guy. Be my frieeennnddd
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? You mean this thing I am writing on???
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM? I think I just did!!!
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? If you mean those things in the back of my throat then, Yes.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Heck no, you can’t even get me on a airplane.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Lucky Charms
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No, the united stink would be too much for me. LOL
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Everyone has strength and weaknesses. I’m stronger than I used to be.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Vanilla
16. SHOE SIZE? 12 ½ to 13
17. RED OR PINK? Definitely RED!
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOUR SELF? Lack of confidence in myself (me too)
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Myself during my childhood. I was so much more confident and independent then.
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO DO THIS? Everyone, do you want me to, want you to do this??!!??
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Right now I am in hibernation mode, so I am in all black pajamas. Hey you asked?
22. LAST THING YOU ATE? Honey roasted peanuts. I am still not eating sweets (go me, go me)
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The blowing of our heater.
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Depends on my mood. Blue (peaceful), and red is struggle (Hint, Hint).
25. FAVORITE SMELLS? I like anything that brightens my day and wakes me up..
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My co-worker Shannon. I called her to ask her if she saw my glasses. I lost them. Lucky she found them.
27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? It depends on what is attractive about them.
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I think she is nice.
29. FAVORITE DRINK? Well it used to be Cherry Coke, but now that I am not drinking soda anymore, its grape juice.
30. FAVORITE SPORT? FOOTBALL (Go BILLS)
31. EYE COLOR? Brown
32. HAT SIZE? Who gets there head measured?
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, because I would struggle to get them on.
34. FAVORITE FOOD? Macaroni and Cheese.
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING! Happy Ending
36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATER? The Lakeshore…I love Sandra Bullock, and now she has another movie coming out. Damn her..LOL
37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black, hello who makes these. Read up above.
38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Fall or spring (me too) (me too too)
39 . HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs and kisses!
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Cheesecake
41.WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No one, because I am not emailing this or tagging anyone (you are all safe….For now Bwahahahahah.
42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? See above
43. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? PREY, by Michael Crichton
44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? The same color as my shirt.
45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? NCIS, and the Simpsons
46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? I love Music Too
47. ROLLING STONES or BEATLES? B4 Way before my time.
48. there was no question for 48 on this survey. There always seem to be that one missing question.
49. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? I'm not talented. Not in a good way.
50. Where and when were you born? 1975, and if I told you where, you’d get confused.