Mini-Video Game Hiatus

It's been nearly a week again.

WOW!

I thought I would be posting regularly again, but I guess work has been draining me emotionally. For that reason I decided to keep from posting, unless you want to here a slab of whining and complaining.

"I'm tired"

"Someone please kill me"

"I wish I could have when that stupid Mega Millions jackpot" (I won a lousy three dollars)

Yes work does this to you, unless you have employment that you enjoy.

So I bet you have been wondering what I have been up to the last six days. No I didn't think so either, but I will tell you anyways.

I have been entertaining myself with an old video game, that I told myself that I would never beat. Of course, I decided to use the guide, because I didn't want to miss out on some of the hidden stuff.

What is the game called?

Xenosaga

Well actually it's Xenosaga II. I already beat the first one, without the guide book mind you. It's a good game and all, it's kind of like final fantasy.

Anyways I beat the main storyline of the game, but there are some hidden bosses (one of which reminds me of Voltron or The Power Rangers Mega Zord) more powerful than the "final boss" and other side-quests or "Mini-Games" that I want to finish up before I go and buy the third and final Xenosaga game. The mini-games in this game are called "Good Samaritan". You go around helping people in need, and you get rewarded for it. Well I am on GS campaign #32 (For The Captain). Captain Matthews runs a ship that he kind of owns called the Elsa. Well The captain has run up a HUGE debt.

10,000,000G

It's up to YOU to pay off his debt. Well I am doing this the way the guide suggested. Unlike your everyday garden variety video game, you have the luxury of fighting "The Patriarch" (final boss) over and over again as much as you want without having to start the game all over, or in some cases starting where you left off, at the same level of strength you were at where you last saved it. In Xenosaga 2, I get to fight Patriarch over and over again as much as I want and I can save it when I am done and then start back on the Elsa just before the battle begins. In fact after the battle I get more experience points which levels my players up and make them stronger.

Well I have to keep fighting the Patriarch so I can get a rare item from him Called Awakening IV. It's worth 500,000G. If you do the math, I have to fight the boss roughly 20 times.

I'm having fun with it though, because I get to see the final scenes of the game. This game have some good quotes, that could rival some of the greatest movies, but towards the end they get better. The scenes at the end are the best scenes of the game in fact I now have a new favorite quote thanks to the funny, and cracked character called Albedo. His character steals the show. In fact most of his quotes were memorable.

My favorite quote used to be from Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan. Kirk tells Khan:

Still, "old friend." You've managed to kill everyone else but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target.

Picture this:

Albedo was struck down by a beam of energy from a giant weapon called Proto Omega. He starts laughing and says that these people are amazing, because they are trying to "wipe him from the cosmos". Albedo is immortal, so he doesn't feel any pain as his body is slowly being disintegrated. Albedo is sitting there laughing as his twin brother and "bitter enemy" Rubedo (one of the playable characters of the game) runs up towards him. Albedo's last words before he is completely vaporized is, "Hey, Rubedo. Don't forget to breathe deep and inhale the particles that composed me." Then he continues with his maniacal/evil laughter until his body is no more.

I LOVED THAT quote, IT WAS GOOD. It kind of reminds me of something I'd say at some point.

If you were wondering, this is what I have been up too lately. Nine "Awakening IV's" down, eleven more to go.

Who knows maybe I will be back tomorrow, maybe next Tuesday. I will be back though. Oh and by the way to my fantasy football opponents, I'm going to be 2-0 now. I'm on a roll now You can't stop me. Plus I did it without one of my better players (Steve Smith). What do you have to say about that.

Coincidence or Divine Intervention?

Coincidence or Divine Intervention?

Everyone has there own opinion in regards to the existence of God, but I swear that he was present in my room last night. What happened didn't seem like an accident!

What are the odds?

I haven't slept well for the last few weeks. Work has me emotionally drained and my "defenses" are down to the "bear minimum".

This in turn has left me thinking about everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING.

Divine Intervention?

Last night after I got off of work, I came home and microwaved some dinner. Then I went upstairs to eat. I had every intention of going to bed after I ate, but I was watching an episode of season 2 of lost on DVD. After I had finished eating, I continued to watch the show. Then it happened.

When I watch DVD's I turn on my stereo for a "movie like" experience with surround sound. I was lying in my bed, and all of a sudden my stereo cuts off. You think it's no big deal, but it shut off without me doing anything.

Your probably thinking what does this have to do with the first words in this post.

Well........

As it shut off, I looked at my stereo, and the words SLEEP scrolled across the screen. That spooked me out at first. Then I regained my composure.

Coincidence?

On the other hand, my stereo's remote control was lying on my bed, and maybe somehow, I laid on in just right so the sleep function turned on.

What are the odds though?

Out of all of the buttons on my stereo remote, what are the odds that I pushed that one?

Even if my body pressed the button somehow, without my knowledge of it being on my bed, what are the Odds?

I'm not a very spiritual person, but I do believe God exists. Whether it, was God himself, or God via my Guardian Angel, or coincidence, I took it as a sign and I went to bed. I needed that rest, even if it was but a short one.

What do you think?

What do you think I believe?

Have you ever had an experience similar to this one?

30 days and 30 nights (Of fun like this)

I didn't even notice that I hadn't posted in awhile. I guess it was because I was working so much. Last week I worked six days with only Friday off. On top of that I started a stretch of six days in a row starting the Saturday before last. Then I did the same thing again starting last Saturday. I had only two days off in the last twelve and they were both on Friday. I didn't do anything on the 1st, but lounge around the house (actually moping). Fatigue can do a number on you. This past Friday I decided that I MUST go to the mall and get some new clothes.

Just in case you forgot, some of my clothes were ruined by squirrels (revelation in regards to this in a future post). I also decided that it was time for a new jacket as well. So I was determined to go get that too. So I decided to take the bus, considering I don't have a car. I tell you doing this was one of the most difficult things of my life.

Why?

It wasn't because I was tired.
And it wasn't because of the bee that landed on my arm at the bus stop either (You should have saw me panicking)

It's because I am trying to go a month without wearing any earphones. Let me tell you that it is tough. I used my MP3 or in the past a discman as a barrier of protection from the world. I would hide behind it so I wouldn't here what others were saying about me. Everything has been fine for the most part. A friend of mines was supposed to go with me to the mall, but for some reason she became sick by the time I got to her house. So she went as far as downtown Rochester with me, to close her bank account, and then went back home. I felt bad, because she seemed out of it. I couldn't go back with to her house with her though. I knew if I did, that I wouldn't have went to the mall. "Escaping" is the best talent I have, and I don't want or like it. So we went on our separate paths.

I went and got some cash from Midtown Plaza while I was downtown, and then I walked back to and caught the bus to the mall. This is where it became difficult. While I was on the "24 Marketplace" bus, there were two people on the bus talking about how much they hate being in Rochester. One (a woman) was from Jamaica, and the other (a young man) from North Carolina. It was one of those moments where I wished I had my MP3. I hated listening to them talk about my hometown like that. I wanted to turn around and say something, but I didn't know what I'd say, and I didn't know what kind of response I would get. So I stood there and I took it.

Like I said up top, I also needed a new jacket. On my way to the mall, there is a plaza called Southtown. There is a Burlington Coat Factory there, and I wanted to go, but I wasn't sure that the bus came anywhere near there. Boy was I wrong. The Plaza wasn't to far from a bus stop, so I got off and went and bought myself a new jacket. Just before I got to Burlington, I called my friend to see if how she was doing. She sounded way better than before, and this was good. It made me feel a hell of a lot better. I arrived a Burlington, and went to check out there jackets. They had some nice ones there, so don't take this the wrong way when I say I didn't want more than half of them.

Sean Jean: I didn't want a white jacket anymore, and a the black one I liked was a little pricey.

G-Unit: Not a big rap fan anymore. Looked great, but I don't buy things that aren't "ME".

Tommy Hilfiger: Someone told me that he is a racist. I don't know if it's true or not, but it definitely deterred me.

FUBU: The one Jacket there that Burlington had in stock, had dirt stains on it. (and I like FUBU. My last four winter coats were FUBU.)

Out with the old!



In with the New



Some coat company called "zErO xPoSuR". Yeah, I'm cheap, but at least I got a free headband with it.

After I grabbed the coat, I ended up doing most of my shopping at Burlington Coat Factory. I'm representing the Buffalo Bills with a $4.99 T-shirt, and a pullover sweater. I also got two pairs of FUBU jeans and a white Sean Jean sweater. At first I was going to wear the black pair of jeans I bought for work, but then I was like NO, because those are a nice pair of jeans. I won't let them go to waste like that.

After I was done there, I headed back for the bus stop I got off of 45 minutes before. I decided to wait for the next 24 Marketplace bus to take me to the mall, and then I notice something. The Freaking mall was right across the street from where I was standing. Traffic was murder, so I had to walk to a crosswalk to cross the street. I still almost ended up getting hit. I did all of the clothes shopping that I was gonna do that day, but I wanted to get a new pair of sneakers for work so I went to Altiers and got a pair of Reeboks, for $40. Way cheap compared to these $80-$150 that people are expected to buy today. While I was there I had a conversation with the clerk, an old man that is looking forward to retirement. He helped me find my sneakers and I thanked him and went to FYE and bought Corinne Bailey Rae's Album, because Stephaine Suggested it awhile back. I will let you know how it goes Stephaine. While I was there, I ended up buying Season 2 of Lost (I could watch it the entire DVD 108 times). Afterwards I called it a day. I was going to go and buy a milkshake, but I saw a bus pull up so, I ran for it and headed home.

I survived that day, and I did it without my MP3 player and earphones. Hopefully I will get over hiding behind them just like I got rid of my craving for soda. Conversation, and making friends is why I am going the month without music on my ears. Wish me luck!

A bad Steve, and A missed Steve

Ever had one of those moments when someone did or said something that made you lose your appetite?

Last Thursday before I went to work, I went to McDonalds to get some breakfast. I ordered my usual Bagel, steak and egg value meal, and a egg Mcmuffin with cheese. After the cashier takes my order, she says to the manager, "Steve, were you able to call anyone in".

Steve replies no.

So then the clerk says, "could you try someone else, because I really don't feel to good". At that point I was thinking, "She is handling my food and she's sick". I didn't want my food at that point, but she already put my debit card through, and I didn't feel like going through the process of being an "ass", by asking for my money back.

So Steve, your lucky I didn't get ill, or there would have been a lawsuit, or my hands wrapped around your throat. When someone is sick send them home, we don't want there cooties!

Speaking of a Steve...Crikey, I can't believe Steve Irwin (The crocodile Hunter) is gone. He was fun to watch. He was enthusiastic with his work. He made you want to watch, and now he's gone. It's funny, because he famous line was involved in some "brother bonding" between my brother Jevon and I.

One day Jevon;For some reason decided that he would be "Steve Irwin" for a couple of hours (Jevon used to imitate The Rock too). He kept saying "Aye Crikey", and the way he said it would have me rolling. You know what's worse, I tried imitating Steve and the best I could do is a British accent (Steve's Australian). Even then my "Raachester" accent was dominant. It sounded horrible, like a drunk pirate (arrrr).

May Steve Irwin rest in peace, and may his family find peace get through his passing and eventually find some way of moving onward.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming!

If there is anyone who wants to join my fantasy football league (Bloggers 'R' Us) let me know.

The "Commish" plays fairly, and I won't be the first to pick (I hope that I won't). If you want to join in, I have about 5 more spots available, and 7 if I don't get a response from the two others (Where oh where are OMZ and Stephaine) that I invited.

I'd be happy if you join, and maybe we can talk smack to each other. It doesn't matter if you know football or not. Heck I'll give you some tips on picks if you want. Honestly its my chance at a social activity. I need to become more social. I need to let people in.

My email for this is inisoul@yahoo.com

The live draft is Sunday at 5pm.

The Muslims are away, so...

Charles gets to play! I get to play pop a pepperoni in my mouth. The Family (well except my nephew and his mother) is in Chicago at a Islamic convention. Can You say Yay! So I walked up to Papa Johns(even though I prefer Pizza Hut), and got me a Pepperoni Pizza. No I didn't get any extra toppings.

No Beef

No Green Peppers

No Tomatoes

No Chicken

No pineapples

Just a plain pepperoni pizza and "I'm loving it". Unlike yesterday when I had an "experience when I was at McDonald's. I'll write about that next time.

For now, I am just going to leave you with two things.

I declare today Pork day, and my theme song is my Pork Poem.

I'm off to enjoy my pizza!

Here's porking at you kid!

Could someone please HELP

Sometimes I just don't understand how people come to there conclusions. Sure everyone has a right to there own opinion, but sometimes other people's perspectives (another form of O.P.P. LMAO) can just hurt, my brain.

Okay, imagine that you were me for a moment. A woman is next in line, and she wants to pay on her phone bill. You ring it up and you tender it out. Then you go to grab her change (here comes the questions).

How do you pick out her change?

Do you give her some of the best change in your drawer?

Do you give her some of the worst change in your drawer?

or

Do you just hand her the first thing you grab, so you can move on and help the next person?

What would you do?

Mind you that it is busy as hell, and everyone wants to be helped too!

I did the latter! I'm not being picky, i'm not being snotty, and i'm just trying to get you in and out.

There are days when you get some good coins, and there are days when you get some coins that you wish the previous owner had cleaned with some CLR.

You can't have everything you want, when you want it, but this woman thinks that i'm out to get her or something.

I hand her the change, and she looks at a penny and says that I gave her the penny on purpose, because I hate her. I don't even know the freakin' lady. The woman is sitting there throwing a fit, because I gave her a dirty penny. Then she asks me to give her a different one. This one is tarnished, but its not as bad as the other one.

"This one is as dirty as the other one". For Pete's sake Lady there are seven other people in line who don't care about getting a dirty penny, they just want to be helped. I told her a penny is a penny and moved on.

If a dirty penny is ruining your day, than you must not have anything else to complain about. Either that or your petty!

As a final note: I am looking for someone to join me and two others in a Yahoo fantasy football league. Anyone interested, email me or leave a comment here.

P.S. I started up my other blog. "My Elusive Dream" It's not much, but I am working on it, and myself.

Collect This!

A couple of years ago I purchased a cell-phone through Sprint, and not only did I get a lousy signal, but I got something else that was lousy.

Something that doesn't even Apply to me!

I can't even remember when it first started. The first call I got, I told them, "I'm sorry, but you have the wrong number". I thought it was done and over with, boy was I wrong. The next day they call again, and...

You have the wrong number!

So then I decide that if I don't answer the phone, then it will go away. Sure enough it did, for about three months or so. Then they returned again, with a new number.

I didn't even bother answering this time. Then they stop calling for a short period again, and when they returned, they had a new phone number. I think I have three phone numbers listed in my phone under "Unknown" because of someone named N. Lopez. With my old phone, at least I had a "no ringer" setting for phone calls if I wanted to ignore them. My new phone doesn't have this feature, so I have to use a beep to alert me when they are calling, instead of hearing nothing at all.

I bet you this would annoy anyone that had the same issue!
I bet you that just by reading this you feel annoyed for me!
I bet some of you already know what I am referring too!

I'm talking about these damn bill collectors!

You'd think they would get it through there thick skulls that when someone says you have the wrong number, "YOU HAVE THE WRONG FREAKING NUMBER"!

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

You'd think that when someone deliberately doesn't answer the phone, these annoying anal cavities would get the point.

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

At one point they called my phone 5 times in one day. I just wanted to used every four letter word I knew in the dictionary, but I decided to ignore them. I figured that it would just go away.

It did, for about three more months!

They recently started back again, and it is annoying the hell out of me!

I'm curious! After a certain amount of time, a debt collector get there lawyers involved to get the money through legal channels. I know someone who had there bank account emptied because of it. So why haven't they collected this money from this N. Lopez?

It must be either because they have fallen off the face of the freaking Earth.
Maybe its because that person is dead!
Then again maybe N. Lopez could be flat broke and on public assistance, rendering these calls unnecessary and useless I might add.

And get this, recently they started using the words, "If you aren't N. Lopez then disregard the call". Well what the hell do you think I have been doing for the last few years. Who ever this N. Lopez is, will you pay your freaking bill for Pete's sake!

BC (Bill collector): Good Morning I May I speak to N. Lopez.

Me (Charles) I'm sorry, you have the wrong number!

BC: Okay Thank you!

That should be the conclusion, but it's a bit more like this!

BC: This call is for N. Lopez.

BC: Must not be there, I'll call back.

BC: This call is for N. Lopez

BL: Must not want to talk, I'll try back.

BC: This call is for N. Lopez

My Voicemail: Please Leave a message!

BC: Why do I keep getting voicemail?

BC: I'll call back later!

BC: This call is for N. Lopez. (Charles is thinking to himself...Get a Clue!)

BC: I'm so lonely, I think I will call back tomorrow, and see if he is willing to talk!

BC: This call is for N. Lopez.

BC: He must hate me. Am I too fat? (Charles is thinking, go and do some investigating, instead of wasting my time and cell-phone minutes on this futile endeavor)

I think some of the processes of the world are so boneheaded and backwards. It's like there stuck and neutral.

You don't even want to get me started with what I think about government bureaucracy and my opinion of how our system of things are set up. I would make a lot of people pissed at me, the same way I feel about these ignorant debt collectors.

How do you....

A lot of stuff has been happening and this idea has been put on hold until now. Well there is something else on my mind, but that is for a rainy day.

I was wondering, how in the world do people come up with street names? Okay I can understand Mustard street, because that is where the French's plant used to be, but there are some strange streets out there.

here's proof!

A little middle sex anyone!



What is Middlesex...Ooops I hope it isn't anyone's last name. Seriously though I'm just trying to picture it. It's puzzling.

Is a person having sex in the middle of something? Is it when someone calls you on the phone when your in the middle of having sex (happen to me once)? Are you in between two beautiful women getting your groove on? (Although it would be bad if they were big girls, how would you breathe?) By the way, don't kill me, I love me some BBW (Big Beautiful Women). I feel bad for all those kids who snuck a girlfriend, or a boyfriend into there house, and got caught in the middle of having sex. In any case I want to live on this street, because its definitely a conversation piece, and I bet everyone gets there groove on more on this street than any other street.

Then as I am walking by this street I was thinking, "what if my nephew approaches me and asks me what sex is"? "Ahem, I dunno, "I'm just a kid", go ask your mother or father". I can't wait for that one!

Okay, I'm curious! What is the weirdest street name that you have seen?

C'mon tell me! In fact show me, that picture was taken on a camera phone, so most of you cell-phone users don't have an excuse. LOL

And The Winner is....

...Well first let me just say to Chris of Inane Thoughts and Insane Ramblings. Chris wasn't it you who tagged me to give everyone a sample of my playlist? Come on maaaaan (whiny voice) you should have known (lol). I thought that Chris, Omar(MIA) and Ari(MIA) would have definitely got it If I posted the hint with The secret sentence title in the red like I did in previous Secret Sentences. So I decided to leave a clue in the previous post, at the end of it.

That song actually inspired me to do both posts, the song and Michelle's(I'm shocked you didn't know either) email. The idea came from a website link on Jod{i}'s blog. The website is called Creative Writing Prompts (which I will be adding as a favorite link). I saw it one day while looking through her links. I skimmed through it a little and I decided to use Number 5 ("Choose a poem you like. Take the last line and use that as the first line in your poem") Well I modified it a little, and decided to use the last line as a clue, along with the song title. I even encouraged anyone reading my secret sentence post to read the post before it.

Go figure!

And the winner is...

Before I announce the winner, I want to announce the runner up. She got it right, so I am giving her props, by not linking anyone besides the winner on this post.

The Runner up is Char of The Dinkiest Maelstrom Island-Side Of The Pond.

are they all amel larrieux song titles?

Yes they are Char!

And The winner is...

Although he got tempted by the darkside and wrote me into a Motel 6 (Shutter at the thought), he was the first person to get it right.

The Winner is...

Bobby, of New Journey!

Congrats! You are the winner. You are to be commended. You have won the contest to end all contests (LMFAO @ that one). That was a boast to end all boasts.

You are to be pimped!

P.S. I challenge everyone to do something similar...A tag if I may. Let us figure out the commonality.

Secret Sentence (Special Edition)

Remember Secret Sentence-The meme where I put highlighted words in my post and have my reader put the words together to form the correct sentence...Of course not, it wasn't that popular.

LMAO

Well I did about 13 of them this could be considered the 14th but hey its a "Special Edition" (HAH).

Its sort of a SS, but not. Instead of giving you words to form a sentence, I am going to give you words as a clue to solve the answer. As usual they will be highlighted in blue (not counting links). A sort of Secret Sentence Theme Meme. If you figure it out, I challenge you to do the exact same thing(you don't have to make it a secret sentence though). In effect I am tagging everyone that reads this post! Yes That means YOU! I learned from the previous Secret Sentences that people didn't want to answer because someone had beat them to the punch. So this time around I will use comment moderation until Monday. They won't be posted to the comments section until sometime next week...Oh say Monday. There won't be any hints, besides if you read me enough you should be able to figure it out. The winner gets pimped in the Pimp Joint.

Secret Sentence (Well sort of)-What do all of these words have in common?

Its around 4 in the morning as I am typing this post. It's a good thing that I don't have to get up in the morning to go to work. I'm so tired that it feels like my eyes are hanging out of there sockets. I bet your eyes don't feel this way because you are probably sleeping while I am typing this.

If you hadn't notice, I the last post I wrote was the first in about a week. I wouldn't have posted at all if Michelle didn't email me. So I am thanking her for her email, and for the reply she sent me when I emailed her back. A former co-worker (whom I had a crush by the way) of mines who is dear to me lost her father a little over a week ago. She looked so sad, and I wish that there was something I could do to bring her dad back. She-Herself had a battle of her own growing up as a child. She had a battle with cancer, and she overcame it. I'm sure she will overcome this too, but she will never forget her father. I remember when we used to work together,I thought she was so cool, I would never expect her to say certain words Like (Damn Charles LOL). Her voice sounded like that of a little girl, it was so cute. I would smile when ever she would say something, and unlike everyone else at the desk at that time, I could easily talk to her. So you can imagine how upset I must feel at myself for not telling her how sorry I feel for her dad's passing.

I thought about her and her father, and then it made me think about me and my father. This in turn made me feel down. I guarantee that her relationship with her dad was better than the one that me and my dad have. Death is an inevitable thing, I don't know how I am going to react when my dad passes on, but there will be a reaction. I love my dad, but our father/son relationship is no where near where I would have liked it to be. It's just one unanswered question after another. I just feel that there is something I'm not being told. I want to know why he didn't come get me on a constant basis. I want to know what he was like when he was growing up. I want to know if there was something I did wrong that stopped him from getting me. I want to know if it was my fault for my parents divorce. I want to know my dad, because I feel it would help me to get to know myself better, to make me whole. I remember when I was a kid, there was no one else who I wanted to be like than him. I looked up to him, I didn't want to listen to the negative things that my mom said about him (for the record vice versa). They probably don't remember, but they did. I didn't want to believe them. It's been about two years now since my dad and I talked. I heard that he isn't feeling to good. I wish that he would listen to his doctors and give up stuff like ice cream. It's funny vanilla is his favorite, and its mines too.

Believe it or not-Regardless of what time this post says, it's 5:29am and I am still up. I haven't slept well in three days. Been up watching TV and such. Just once I wish I could sleep for at least eight hours straight. Can you tell I'm feeling a little down...Yeah!

Why do bad things always seem to happen to me when I go to the Laundromat? Partially bleached clothes, a weird lady, and a stupid dryer that didn't dry my clothes. Now I can add broken earphones to that list. Okay there are three seats bolted together as one chair. Someone decided to move these seats away from the window and out of the sunlight, because of the hot weather. When I get there I see this and I felt kind of awkward sitting on the one of the seats, in the middle of the floor.

So I decided to move them back to there original position. I had to bend over to do this and unbeknownst to me there was a crack in the middle chair. Guess what, at that moment what seemed to be something out of a planned storybook happens. Sometimes I wonder if somewhere God is sitting at a desk, writing a cleverly laid story, with sub-plots woven together with everyone's lives intertwined together. Because at that very moment, while I was pushing those stupid chairs (as a reminder: I call every inanimate object stupid out of frustration) back to there original spot, my earphone cord gets caught on the crack in the middle chair.

It was a rather huge crack that for some reason I hadn't noticed until I finished pushing the chairs back. I noticed when I straightened up my body from bending over, because my earphones were pulled off of my head, and the side with the cord on it broke off. I Ruined earphones, so I decided out of anger to make them a matching pair, and I ripped the other side of the earphones of too. Nothing but trouble when I go to do my laundry, well at least it makes for a good story. Too bad that magic isn't tangible, because I loved those earphones. I had them for a long time. They had some sentimental value to them. As we know sentimental value is worth a lot of money...in bizzaro world.

I learned my lesson though. Say NO to Crack! Whether it's booty crack, drug crack or a cracked chair, just say no to all Crack!

See YA!

PS: it's 6:23am now!

Walk Away

I walk up to it
And put my hand upon it
Tension in my mind begins to mount
Doubt
It overwhelms me
Screaming at me

Walk Away

I’ve waited for so long for this moment
For this chance
I pray that the qualm doesn’t sway me
I just close my eyes
And place my ear against it
Hoping that I can hear
Something
Hoping that there is a sign
Give me an okay
Nothing
Of course it wouldn’t be that easy

Walk Away

Every fiber of my being is
Commanding
But then there is that tiny microbe
Minuscule
But loud nonetheless
A voice inside me
Telling me everything will be fine
Empowering
It tells me to grab the knob
As I turn it
The voices become deafening

WALK AWAY

It doesn’t matter though
It is locked and I don’t have the key
Frustrated
I fall to my knees and begin to weep
Frustrated
The doubts within
Take control of me
Moments of happiness
Of love
Moments of peace
Of being
These are all memories of life
Within my grasp
But I have an obstacle to pass
That is demanding
I
Walk Away



Inspired By a line from a song called "Morning" by Amel Larrieux
if its behind that door, then let me break it

Clean up, clean up, everybody...

Yesterday, I found myself a little upset. More than a week ago, we had some guys work in our "jungle", in our back yard. They removed most of the oversized bushes that had grown into trees. These things were huge, and honestly-I wanted nothing to do with it.

Years ago, before we my mom and my "step-on-me-dad" bought this house, I warned them about problems that they would be facing. I may have been a 18 year old Mr. No-it-all/smarty-pants/brat, but had a bad feeling about this house, and I was right. We have a lot of repairs that need to be taken care of, some of which is outside.

Like I said before those bushes were overwhelmingly tall, and I didn't want any part of them, at first. I was going to attempt to take them down, but we only had an electric trimmer, and extension cords didn't go far enough. I ended giving up and letting them get some paid help. They did most of it, but there are a few bushes left, and our decaying grill made of brick.

The hired help dragged and carried all of the giant bushes to the front of our yard for when garbage day arrived. Wednesday came along and this rather huge truck with a grappler came and picked up our bushes. When the refuse truck was done, there was a huge mess on our front lawn.

One week goes by, and I am thinking to myself that the hired help is going to come and finish what they started. They never came back. This week I "see" it more consciously than last week. So this morning instead of becoming frustrated, and complain about how horribly our yard looks, I decided to clean it up.

The only thing is, I took a shower before I started cleaning. Man was that a mistake!

There were branches everywhere! Big branches small branches, long branches, and branches with thorns. First I took care of the branches, while I picking them up, I notice a butcher knife (welcome to the Ghetto). A freakin' butcher knife in our front lawn. I can only imagine what its purpose was, and why it was there. I sure didn't touch it though. I grabbed my rake, and my shovel and raked the knife into the shovel, and then put it into a garbage bag.

Let me tell you that a knife was the least of my surprises.

After I took care of that I ended up hurting my right index finger on a branch that I broke in two. It left a small sore, with a deep gash. Even peroxide was burning...I hate alcohol, it stings.



I continued to pick up the branches. I broke the ones that were too big into pieces, so they wouldn't shred the bag. One of the branches was pretty big and long and dense. I couldn't break it with my bare hands, so I hit the branch against the tree in our front lawn. Wood against wood if you will. The tree and me won, and I sent part of that branch into the street. I broke it in three pieces with the help of our tree. I'm glad I come with some great ideas (I am so SMART).

When I got done cleaning our front lawn, I decided to clean the grass on the hill in front of our house. Did I mention that our house is on a hill. I have such a wonderful time shoveling the driveway during the winter (sarcastically speaking). Remember when I said that the butcher knife was the least of my surprises well...



(Still have to trim those things)

I trekked up that mountain and when I got to the top, I notice a ton of garbage up there. One particular piece of garbage was strangely enough a pair of what looked to be like Daisy Dukes. Who done came up in our yard stripped off there pants huh??? I also had to pull out a juice bottle. This wasn't any ordinary juice bottle either. I couldn't use the rake to pull out from underneath the bushes either, because it was too heavy for it. So I grabbed the shovel, and when I was finally able to reach it, I noticed that the stupid bottle had water in it. Not only that but inside floating in the water was something bright green. I found candy containers, pop bottles, cups, bags. I found everything but the kitchen sink and a condom (I'm actually suprised about that one).

I also swept the sides of our house. All and all, I think I did a pretty good job, and I got some exercise out of it. Now if only I had three more of me, then I could tackle the back yard by "myself". We got even more interesting debris back there. A broken wheel barrel, and someone's discarded car batteries. Shows you how much some people care about others property huh.

I just want to know one thing! How hard is it for someone to throw there trash into a garbage can?

(Un)Reality

Unreal

I am a monkey that has some very strong legs, and I am trying my hardest to kick a ball as far as I can. Wait, did I say I was a monkey? Seriously, I have fallen like so many others on Blogmad to an addiction of monkey madness. There is this game called (wait a minute, I can kick the ball again) Monkey Kick Off. The name speaks for itself, there is a monkey that is obviously obsessed with kicking a ball (I can kick again). Your goal is too kick the ball as far as you can. If you want to challenge my score here is the link. Is it me or is this game addictive. Is it me or was that monkey a kangaroo in a previous life.

Real

Recently I have realized that I am not happy with the current situation that I am in. I have realized that I was more independent when I was a child in comparison to now. I have also realized that at the rate I am going, I am going to have to quit my job for health reasons. I am not as happy there as I once was. Its kind of like my body is coming to work, while my mind is elsewhere. I need a new job, something a little bit different. Most of the jobs today require some kind of degree, and the ones that don't are temporary jobs through those Temp agencies. I can either go back to school, or I can take my chances with those temp agencies until I find a job that will hire me permanently. The night I came to this "reality", I filled out a application form at Monroe Community College. Now all I have to do is get one of those gift cards with a Mastercard logo on it. I think I am going to try college again.

"The Adjustment"

In this post, I asked if anyone would “adjust “ there underwear in the public. I got some interesting answers.

Some of you implied that you go “commando”

One of you thought that its okay as long as you aren’t “Digging For Gold”.

To the “commandoes”-Imagine that you are wearing underwear for a day…Okay!

I was at work and I: for some reason was in a uncontrollable laughing mood. I was checking out women as they were coming into and leaving the store. There was this one particular woman that walked in who had a nice butt, a big butt, and a curvaceous body. As my eyes followed the butt…er…I mean the woman in I was still checking her out, when all of a sudden she did something to my surprise.

She adjusted her underwear!

I was in shock! I paused for a minute and said to myself, “did she just”. Then I asked my co-worker at the desk, and she started laughing. I was already cracking up, when…

Have any of you have a way of saying something in your head that sounds right, but when it comes out of your mouth things turn horribly wrong. Well one of the runners on the Front-End comes up to the desk, and I am just totally out of control at this point, with no barriers, and control over myself. I had a question on my mind, and I wanted to ask her. It was meant to be asked the same way as written here, but it didn‘t come out that way. This is why I hold back my thoughts some of the time. I have to remember to think before I speak.

What was it that I asked her???

Would you drop your panties out of your butt in the public?

It sounded right in my head, but when it came out of my mouth, the runner was like, “Huh“.

It didn’t end there just yet. The runner replied by saying, “It depends…how much am I going to get paid“. I didn’t see that one coming either. I started rolling, and then my co-worker at the desk, ended up asking the runner the question in a more “tasteful” way.

Still it was fun, and funny though.

Afterwards I was thinking about the times when I had to make an adjustment. When I am at work, I usually go behind the recycling machines and adjust, and I don’t just mean adjusting in the back either. Sometimes a guys “pReCiOuS” can get caught in between the hole in the front of his underwear, leaving him feeling very, very uncomfortable. I’m not going to go the entire day with it just hanging there like that. NO, I’m going to fix it, but I am going to do it someplace privately (LOL remove the l and y), where no one can see me.

Don’t worry, I sanitize afterwards.

"Hot Thoughts"

Where do I start?

Let me just say thank you to everyone who left there thoughtful comments in last Saturdays post. I was…I am feeling a little down, and a tad bit under the weather, so my posts have been a little less frequent as of late.

Last night I had intended to write and post, but I ended up messing with my Blogger template. It’s the same template, but I changed the color schemes using HTML code. I also widened the body for my posts and placed the titles of my blogs on the outside of each post. I also centered my banner, because it was kind of off. It took awhile to do all this, because I am but a mere amateur at this. I had to use the preview option to see how it turns out. I like it, but I want to put my post titles in a border, kind of like Stevens, but I want the length of the border to be a bit longer. I feel that there is still something missing! I wonder what else I can do to it.

Remember when I said that I “poured” instead of sweating. Well today I ask the question, “What’s the next level after “pour”. After this day is over, hopefully I will have an answer. After this day is over, I may lose ten pounds. After this day is over, I am going to curse out anyone who says, “I wish summer was here” when the winter season starts. Why you ask… BECAUSE I AM GOING TO EXPERIENCE WEATHER SIMILAR TO THAT OF THE SOUTH AND CALIFORNIA, THAT’S WHY. We are expecting 100 degree weather today. I think this has only happened once in my lifetime in Rochester. I don’t remember it from my past, but if we top out at 100 degrees today, I will never…ever forget it. What makes matters worse is that I have to work today (a sarcastic hooray). I’m catching the bus, and I bringing some water with me too. I don’t care what anyone says to me at work. I am going to have about five drinks, and I am going to drink them in front of the customers regardless of professionalism.

I’ve mentioned before that I am in a battle with anxiety. Always wondering what people think of me, if they are laughing at me. I even have a difficult time making phone calls. I realized now, that regardless of whether or not I stutter, I have the right to exist, and I have the right to make a phone call. They can either say yes or no. They can either pick up the phone or let it wring. I have NO control over anyone’s actions but my own. With that said, I put my fears aside and I did something that I wanted to do for a long time. I have had the same house key since we moved in this house in 1994 (its 2006 by the way…LOL). I wanted to get one of those decorated keys. I wanted one for months now, ever since I saw my sister Ablah with her Winnie the Pooh key. After I got off of work, I walked up to the hardware store across the street from work and I asked for the key I wanted and I got it.

Mission Accomplished!



Are you ready for some football? Hell Yeah!



Yesterday in the wee hours of the morning I saw an article on yahoo that made me think “Duh”. You don’t need Obvious Man to answer this question.



Why don't we get a break at the pump...Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely! The oil companies got enough money to to buy the United States and then some, but they want more. They can't have enough money. Greed is the fuel (pun intended) behind the rise and prices, so I don't give a {expetive deleted} what kind of explanation the media or these companies are giving.

Later

P.S.
Next time: "The Adjustment"

I need a bigger dictionary

Has it really been a week since my last post? I guess that's what happens when you are feeling a little under the weather. I guess my friends wedding had an effect on me.

I started reading The Six Pillars to Self-Esteem, and I must say that I find myself wanting a more In Depth dictionary. There are at least 3 words on every other page that I haven't a clue to what the meaning is. So I am finding it difficult to read. I guess I need buy a dictionary and one of those word a day calendars too. I can use just about anything that helps improve my vocabulary. To bad there isn't a panacea (yes this is one of the words) for all of my challenges (chose not to call them problems), then again if I did have one, life would be boring.

SO what have I been up to lately!

Nothing, but work!

Monday we had an audit of the store. Are department passed with a 100%. I was all worried because I had to take a quiz. You know how you build up a whole bunch of butterflies in your stomach because something big is about to occur, and you are afraid something bad like failure is imminent? Well maybe it doesn’t happen to you, but it sure does happen to me. My stomach felt like it was going to burst from the butterflies eating me alive, and I felt like I was going to mess everything up including the verbal part when they ask me what Title 31 is (in regards to money orders and Western Union). When it’s time for me to take part in the audit for my department, the auditor hands me the test and then he tells me to get a piece of paper. My heart is pounding, but not as much as I thought. Then he tells me to answer questions 10-14.

I’m like “WHAT”!

Only five questions, I got all worked up for five questions out of about 40.

What THE …

Then I find out I don’t even have to answer verbally or otherwise in regards to Title 31. I got all worked up for nothing.

I got all five questions right! We had the best score in the store. What a TEAM, What a TEAM!

Still I think I need to stop worrying about things and just wait and see. I’m hoping that The Six Pillars will help me to build up my self-esteem so I don’t worry so much, and believe in my abilities more. I don’t care if I have to learn the entire English language and then some; I am going to finish the book for my sake.

I’m ending this post the same way It began…By posing a question!

Would you “adjust” your underwear (tidy whitie’s, boxers, thongs, or panties) if you were in the eye of the public? (Bet you can’t wait for that post)

A prayer: I just need a nudge in the right direction

A conversation with God! A Prayer.

I went to my friend Shannon's wedding today. I was happy for her, but seeing her there made me question my life.

During my life I have had some ups and downs.

I have had good things like, the fact that I have always had my mom there, even though my siblings came along and needed her attention too. I love her, and I love my brother and my sisters. I would do anything for them, I would gladly give my life for them. You have also blessed me with my first nephew. I love him and his smile. He is so clever and smart for seven months. I have had shelter food, love and support from my family and I am grateful.

Even though I have had these good things, the bad ones always seem to outweigh the good. I had an abusive man, that in many ways more of a father figure to me than my dad was, because he was around more than my father. I had kids picking on me, because of the clothes I had and because my family was poor. The few friends I had either always left, or hurt me in some way. When I was in the fourth grade, I had a classmate once who was nicer to me than any of the others. She smiled at me and I would smile back. She had this way of rolling back her foil covering on her school lunch that made me think of royalty. When I told her this she laughed and smiled. She didn't care that I was a smelly kid. If she did she never talked about me or laughed at me while I was present. I had a crush on her, and one day I came to school, I found out she had died in a fire. I didn't know exactly what death was. The first loss I ever had was my grandmother Janie. She died from cancer when I was seven or eight. All I new is that I would never see her again.

My "friend" Jermaine and his cousin Calvin used to torment me, and get me into trouble. Calvin used to always instigate fights between Jermaine and me. I would end up being hurt the most, because I was alone. Back then it was all about fighting. I just wanted someone to play with, someone to be my friend (still do today). Jermaine was the "leader" and I was the "follower". He convinced me to steal things, and I would go along with it. One time he stole a Bee bee gun from Kmart and brought it home without his mom being the wiser. One day after school, we were riding our bikes around his grandmother's (who was also my babysitter after I got kicked out of daycare) neighborhood. He had the bee bee gun in his coat. A sentry from our school was driving by and he pulled over across from us, told us to come to his car and took the bee bee gun from Jermaine. After that we high tailed it on our bikes and went to his grandmother's house as fast as we could, so we wouldn't get caught.

That's not even the worst of it. Before we got caught with it, Jermaine and I and my brother Jevon (who was a toddler at the time) was in Jermaine's room with the bee bee gun, and we were fiddling with it. I don't remember how it unfolded, but that night a bee bee hit my brother Jevon in his mouth and chipped his front tooth. I was surprised that Jermaine was smart enough to hide the bee bee gun, and we never got in trouble for hurting Jevon. I don't know what was worse, the fact that we were able to hide the truth, or the fact that my only concern was that I didn't get whipped. I feel ashamed about it, I wish that I had got hit and lost part of my tooth.

It all came to a head when my so called friend asked if he could borrow my Mike Tyson's Punch-Out video game for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Me being lonely and wanting friends; let Jermaine borrow my game. I never saw it again. I tried to ask my mom if she could ask his mom (mother's best friend) if he could get her to make her son give me my game back. My mom told me that it was between me and Jermaine, and that if I wanted it back, I would have to tell his mom myself. I didn't though, I just went to the source of my problem. What does Jermaine do, he gives me a game without the cover on it and says its mine. I go home to play it, and it turns out to be the Duck Hunt/Super Mario Brothers game that came with the NES when you buy it. It infuriated me, I hated him with a passion. I never trusted him again, and I never spoke with him.

Years later when I was in High School, I prayed that you take the most important possession to me, (which was my stereo) and give me a best friend in it's place. You did just that, and she meant the world to me. I loved her, but she didn't feel the same way. I was younger than her, and to her I was one of the "girls". One day we were in Spanish Class and I got involved in some gossip about her, and I wouldn't say what was spoken about her. She and I got into a argument, and I called her a bitch. After that, nothing was the same, we grew further and further apart, and eventually I got kicked out of my house and I had to move with my father. This resulted in me having to leave my High School because I was moving outside of the Rochester City School District. She ended up moving too, she moved to Jacksonville Florida, and I ended up getting only three letters from her. I wrote her two more times. Never heard from Pon Again. It was my fault, I regretted hurting her and I miss her.

As I was growing up, I had people talking about me, saying that I wasn't cool, that I was ugly. I didn't fit in anywhere. I didn't listen to the same music. I didn't have the same interests. People saying I wasn't black, or that I was gay. They don't know how I feel, they don't know what my sexual preference is because they didn't ask. SO WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Why can't I just find some peace. Am I not entitled to be happy, am I not entitled to just live my life. I want to get married someday, raise my 2.3 kids, and own a couple of dogs. I have always wanted a dog. I regretted neglecting my second dog. I would take it back if I could. She was taken from me and so was my first dog.

I'm not like other guys, so it's hard for me to relate. Some of the things I hear coming out of these guys today, kind of offends me. The way they talk about women, and such. I can't relate to that sort of thing. I guess maybe I am one of those "Effeminate" males that think women should be treated equally and with respect.

My self-esteem has been so low that I feel like I don't deserve to exist. Sometimes I just lie in bed wondering if I have a purpose in life. I always think of the bad and not the good. I always take the easiest path or at least the one without the risk. Every time I see a woman that I am attracted to, I turn my head because I am nervous. I feel that she wouldn't want me, because I am insecure. I feel that I am not worthwhile, because of the things I witnessed my "stepfather" do to my mother when I was a kid. I would love to just live my life like there was no tomorrow.

I was so much more independent when I was a kid. I never lost my keys, not once. I even used to walk home from school, and the age of five. Now I am afraid to leave the house at times. I feel trapped. Afraid that someone is going to talk down on me. When I do leave, I put my headphones on and blast my MP3 player so I don't hear what people are saying.

I am feeling lonely right now. Like I said, I have had some ups and downs, but the downs have hurt so much more than the ups helped. It has made me untrusting, cold, lonely, unhappy, and yearning for companionship....For Love! I want to take risks. I want to get up tomorrow, and go to work without my headphones and talk to people. I want to tell them how I feel, what I like, and what I dislike. I want to hear there stories, and I want to share mines. I don't have to be rich, I don't want to be famous. I am not greedy, I am just needy. I just want to live comfortably and happily ever after.

Please all I need is just one push!

Updates and Thanx and Such

I was supposed to do a some of these updates weeks ago, one of which was two days before my birthday.

1st

I don't know if ya'll remember when I went out on a mission to keep the change that people didn't want. Well, it didn't work out. I ended up with a dollar and twelve cents. So I couldn't prove a point with that, but I will be able to prove a point with the change I kept from my dough.

2nd

For Moksha (she asked me to give an update about this awhile back) I made a new template for the overage/shortage sheet at work for my boss lady. When gave it to her she was delighted. I was hoping that it would make me feel at least a little bit like I belong up there, but nothing changed. I don't know what to do, other than leave the department. I don't think its all them, I think its partly my way of thinking. I think I am not thinking this through clearly. Which brings up my...

3rd

I want to thank Chris for telling me about "The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem". I bought the book this week and I am looking forward to reading it. I noticed something though, I would have been better off buying it at Amazon.com rather than Borders Bookstore. I would have saved $5.95 if I bought it online. I haven't read much of it yet, because I have been working and getting ready for my friends wedding. A lot of the things Nathaniel Branden said in his book made sense to me so far. My illusions in regards to love: The vignettes he had about what we see and what is real, really opened my eyes. I think it may help me! I may have to pimp Chris' blog next.

4th

Noticed Something??? I took Ablah's picture of me off of the About Me Section and replaced it with a real picture. My sister felt embarrassed of her drawing, so I had to respect her wishes. I loved it, but she either never see how genuine my feelings are, or she just doesn't care.

5th

I put up a poll in my journal asking everyone, if they think I should buy a car. The results are below. It was close, but 41% of the 29 people that participated think I should get a car, and that is what I intend to get. Rather than walking and catching the bus everyday. I like walking, but I can't constantly walk on my bad foot. I hurts too much sometimes.



6th (and final)

The Pimp Joint is free, anyone who wants to hang there, has to do something that catches my attention. Ari not only helped me find some of my favorite video game songs, but she also was the only person to take the time out and find Charldo. I didn't expect anyone to do this and she surprised me. Who will be the next person to hang at the joint. I have a front runner already in mind, but its still possible for you get in contention.

Well, I'm off to do some blogmad surfing and then get ready for my friends wedding tomorrow.

Until Monday

Enjoy Your Weekend!

I am desperate, and I am reaching out!

I wrote a previous post about my friend Shannon and her fiance getting married this month. I was looking for suggestions for a gift. Well here I am, with three days left until the wedding and only today as the only shopping day. I have to work late the rest of the days up until the wedding.

I am asking

Begging

For any and every suggestion(s) from everyone in blogland and J-land, Including you surfers on blogmad. I am looking for something useful.

For the record she already has a George foreman grill. She suggested that I get one.

She doesn't have a wedding registry, so that idea is out the window too.
Any other ideas, I am all ears.

Sincerely,

Desperately Seeking Wedding Gift

P.S.

The wedding is Casual, I need tips on what to where too, as I don't know exactly what that means.

I bet you take something for granted

Think About It!

We have a number of things that we take for granted, and not realize it. If you were teleported to the 18th century, do you think you would stand a chance? Would you be able to tolerate the scorching heat? Would you be able to live without a "Extra Value Meal"?

Where did my internet connection go????

I know there are people in other countries who don't have some of the things we have, in some cases some of them don't have any possessions.

Can you imagine if out of the blue, some kind of electromagnetic pulse swoops over the Earth and wipes every piece of technology out.

What would you do?

First: I would flip out and start cursing.

Second: I would start crying and complaining.

Third: I would go into some kind of insane convulsion on the ground, with my left eye twitching, while I am "walking" on one side in circles.

What's that saying? Like a chicken with it's head cut off.

If you think you could survive it, think again!

PICTURE THIS!

A young man comes to work one morning and all of the phones are out! The young man thinks this to be a good thing, until he realizes that there are other things that depend on the phone line(s).

He finds out that he can't do any Western Union Money Transfers!
He finds out that he can't do any Utility Payments!
He finds out that he can't print out any Money Orders!
He finds out that he can't Cash any Payroll Checks!
MORE IMPORTANTLY!
He finds out that he can't use the page to call a manager over the intercom if an emergency turns up, or if a customer wants to speak to one. He also can't call a department to ask a question either?

Who is he???

He is Me!!!

The four Processes are very important at the desk. They bring in a lot of money, and hopefully customers that want to shop. Unfortunately, I had to turn a number of people away.

As far as the paging issue, I had to walk around the store looking for managers, department heads, and clerks when a question, request or a problem arose. Unfortunately this didn't even happen as much as I wanted it to.

(Wait a minute, did he say Unfortunately?)

Yes I did!

We get killed with phone calls sometimes. I once had four people call in a matter of seconds. So you'd think I would be appreciative of the break but...

I was bored as....

All I could do is just sit and do nothing! I sold mostly stamps and Lotto, but this happened in gaps. It finally got to the point where I went into a tiny lapse of insanity, and started singing Miniature Disasters, by KT Tunstall! Well at least part of the Chorus

Miniature disasters and minor catastrophes
Bring me to my knees
Well I must be my own master
Or a miniature disaster will be
It will be the death of me

I ended up cleaning up the desk before the convulsing and twitching began.

We had a few people come into the store and ask if our Phone lines were down (including an employee). They said that they had been calling all day. Someone told me That the phone lines were out since last night around 8pm. They were out until about 2pm today, and I was actually happy to hear it when it finally wrung again. When the phones started working again, our corporate office called to inquire as to why we weren't answering our calls. I guess we were getting a lot of complaints. At one point I was so bored, I wanted to play hang man with my co-worker when she got to work.

Heck, I was happy to empty a plastic bottle machine!

Which side?

I have been away from my journal for a few days, and while I was gone, a battle of sorts ensued. I got seven or eight emails in regards to this battle, two of which were from the "Big Guns". One asked me if I would like to join in on the Roast (as Chris so eloquently put it), and the other asked me which side I was on.

Which side I'm on...Hmmmmm???

That is a good question, That is THE Question!

In order for me to answer it, I have to first explore a comment that Chris made regarding me. And I quote, "And Charles....he acts WAY too nice, I think maybe he is hiding something".

Maybe I am.

I admit that when we do one of these gang up posts, I take the Mi'hen Highroad. I had fun without the torture. If I unloaded, it wouldn't be pretty, and I would lay waste to all of your roasty toasty posties. I am like Jean Grey, you don't want me to lose control and unleash the Dark Phoenix! It would be a horrible, horrible thing to do.

Whose side am I on???

Lets see

Omar<-------C------->Ari

The letter C is me!

I am like a dog who has two owners calling for it at the same time, and it doesn't know which one to run too (Here Rover, come here boy {whistle}).

They both have done something for me.

The Good
They both invited me to join in on these roasts.
Ari helped me find Final Fantasy X songs.
Omar has made me laugh on numerous occasions.

The Bad
They both have spelled Amel Larrieux's name wrong. (it's not spelled a-m-i-e-l it's AMEL).

I say they are about even, so how do I settle this???

Everyone in the battle must write a comment: 200 words or less. Whomever writes the best one, " may" get me to join there side.

Am I evil, or kind. Heck I am neutral!

Fett For Hire!

What's up with all of this Star Wars Stuff! I should say Ferengi For Hire, but the Ferengi are ugly creatures.

I know what to write about when I lose my muse.

My muse and I have seem to have been separated.

I got nothing.

Well I have pictures of animals that I took at our Zoo. And a monkey's and Elephantss Butts amongst the pictures. Hey, hey, the monkey turned at the last minute that one wasn't my fault. Anyhoo I just don't feel like touching my camera right now. It's broke, and I am a little heated about that.

I don't even want to think about it.

My muse isn't amused by our lack of unity.

I think I just received a connection, hold one sec . . . . . .

Here we are, I remember something now. LOL

A week ago I was thinking about poetry. I was thinking about how amazed with some of the poets that I read. Jodi and Rebecca being some of the best poetry writers I read. Then it occurred to me, I have a crush on a poet, and I never realized that she was a poet in the first place.

You know how when people listen to music and sometimes we can't understand what the artist is saying, so we end up singing what we think we hear. Well at least that is what I do. When I first got Amel's new album. I heard something entirely different than what she was saying, in three of her songs.

I like to sit and just listen to music, for hours on end (in fact I am listening to some right now). I always listen to the album first and try to memorize the lyrics, and then I go to the album credits and get the lyrics if available.

Two out of the three songs on her Morning album, that I misheard, WOWED me when I read the lyrics on her Website. I don't even know what I was exactly saying at first, but I know it was something totally different than what she was saying. When I read the two songs, (Morning, and Mountain Of When), I realized that they were poetry. Beautifully written poetry. Here are the lyrics from each song.

Morning-Amel Larrieux

night
passes slow
get up moon go, I can’t take it
my thoughts
weigh me down
and I’m prisoner to my blanket
cuz I’m thirsting for
the brilliance of the glorious return of
chorus
the morning

sleep
enter my body
I promise this time we won’t fight you
Dream
Come and reveal
what my mind won’t let me feel, I won’t deny you
bird
where have you gone
come and sing me your song, I won’t chide you
sun
come and crack open the sky
and let your golden light through
cuz I’m thirsting for
the brilliance of the glorious return of
chorus
the morning

fear
you’re not wanted here
hitch a ride with a tear wash away then
light
is what I yearn for
if its behind that door, then let me break it
chorus

Mountain Of When-Amel Larrieux

aim to be strong
fiddle with an arrow
the shot is too long
precision is not in my marrow
what's wrong
with me contentedly singing my own song
but not heard the music
the writings' on the wall
but i took the scenic route
and i can't call
the number's in the pocket of my jeans
through it all
talking the talk, running before i walk
missing the meaning
chorus
plotting the course
while i'm stuck at the bend
penchant for rocky terrain and dead ends
wind myself up just to unravel into a great,
mountain of when
"should've" is a place
i sometimes frequent
yet they know my face
better at "i can't"
but if there's a wait
"i will" is close by and "when" stays open late,
the menu is vast
chorus
predicting the loss
before i begin
so it don't cut too deep
when i don't win
not like it's working
for this clever lark
i can recite the story
behind every scar
predicting the loss
before i begin
so it don't cut too deep
when i don't win
i hate it when i'm right
much rather be wrong
i'd rather be wrong
chorus

My favorite parts of each song is highlighted in blue. They have meaning, they have value (to me), they are cleverly written to evoke a response, and I responded by getting very emotional. Amel is a great singer and a writer (I think her husband helped write it too). I think they did a great job on the album. It's a shame that people don't really "LISTEN" to the lyrics. Like I tried to explain to my sister Ablah, it's not all about the music. The words are what matter. You have to listen. Most songs are about love, cheating and begging. I don't even want to get into today's rap. That's not what Amel is about. Sure she does love songs, but she has also done songs about issues in this world. I say if you buy or listen to any an album, listen to the words, not just the music. Sure it's entertaining and all, but if your song has a nice beat and some great music, and the lyrics are lousy, is it worth it? Amel is a great Artist, and I think she is underated. I wish that more people would give her shot.

Left out in Rochester

I got to see the fireworks YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

I was going to put this up the same night I took them, but fatigue overtook my body, and I heard my bed calling me. Plus I had an incident with my camera. I dropped it! Hopefully the four year warranty that the clerk at best buy coerced me into buying has coverage for the second most clumsy camera owner of the world. You'd think I would have been angry. Well I was a little sad, but I was more less happy, because I got to see the fireworks for the first time in decades. The last time I saw them I was a kid. It was almost twenty years ago that I last saw them in person. I saw them from a distance, buildings in the way and such. So seeing the fireworks in downtown Rochester, near there source, was bitter sweet to me. It may have cost me a digital camera, but I say it was worth it. I dropped it while I was uploading everything to my computer. Hopefully it's just the LCD screen.

I even captured some video with my camera. I recorded two parts of the fireworks show. I got the mid point and the exciting ending to the show. I hope that you like, I know hundreds of other people enjoyed it along with a dog. If your lucky, you can here me say, "That's awesome". Oh I forgot to mention that I saved the ending to Youtube and I am adding it here. Forgive me though, I don't have a steady hand like Steven (man I wish I had his talent), and I wanted to see the fireworks with my own eyes. It's still good though if I do say so myself.

Enjoy!

P.S. You should see the fireworks that my sister Ablah provided for us last year. (us being Ablah and me) LMAO

Her "fireworks" Are below, the link to the original post is above.





4thinTheRoc

Twirling along the edge of a volcanic eruption

Okay I know how everyone thinks I'm nice and everything, but there is this side of me that is just aching to be unleashed. I'm sure that everyone has this side in one shape or form, and more or less intense than mines. I bet there are people who even have more restraint than myself. I was just surprised that I kept it in check. My Twisted Angry Side, My Mr. Hyde, My Incredible Hulk (without the super strength and invulnerability).

I tell you I had a rough day, and if my mind was anything like someone with a multiple personality, the angry side of me would have come out and went ballistic on these people. Behind every annoying customer, there was a smart remark, begging to be spoken.

There was this woman that wanted Orange juice. She couldn't walk to get it herself, so I volunteered to get them for her. Okay there are several brands of OJ right. She managed to merge reality into one, and ask for "Florida's Tropicana Natural" orange juice with pulp. I kept asking her which kind, Florida's natural, or Tropicana? I couldn't get the right answer, so I went to have a look see, and try and get the one on sale. I couldn't find any pulp, and it was busy at the desk, so I headed back, and called for some help. I had the cart attendant look, because two sets of eyes are better than one. I made sure that I told him that she wanted pulp in Her OJ. He comes back with Florida's Natural Original. When I tell him that he got the wrong one, the lady says, that he has the right one.

"You must have pulp for brains lady"

Then these two guys come in to return glass bottles. One guy (a wannabe Eminem) is obviously drunk or high. After I get through counting there bottles, I go and help customers at the desk. Ten minutes later the guys come in and say they lost their keys (this month's theme I guess), and they want me to check the barrels that I tossed the glass bottles into. I literally had to go and get an empty barrel and take bottles out of the barrels in question, and put the glass into the empty one. I laughed on the outside, but one the inside I just want to throw the glass at them, or make them risk cutting there own (expletive deleted) hands on the shards of broken glass. When I was done, I found nothing, but broken glass.

They leave and come back. Now they want me to check the inside of a can machine. I'm wishing the freakin' "Pepsi Machine" has a distant Recycling Machine" cousin, that would come out of nowhere and drop these two guys. How the heck do you expect a can machine to eat your keys and expect them to still be in one piece? More importantly, How the heck do you put your freakin' keys into a recycling machine (I'm so close to making this an A.I.T.T. Expletive Mode Post).

First of all if you are coming to do any kind of manual labor, you better come sober.

Second, if you put your keys in that machine, they are going to get crushed, so looking in the machine is going to be really, really pointless.

Third, I am not responsible for your dumb drunk ass! Maybe if you'd stop drinking all of those Labatts and Budweisers your freakin' brain cells would muster enough strength to give you some kind of common sense so that you wouldn't have lost your keys in the first place!

Fourth, If you are lucky, then maybe you locked them in the trunk.
If not then you are S.O.L.!

See how my evil side emerges! I'll tell you one thing I feel much better now!

Amazed and Dumbfounded

At work

Saying Wednesday was interesting would be an understatement. First let me just say that it seems like it was meant for me to experience that day, during the specific time period. I was originally scheduled to work at 7am-3:30pm (I actually started at 1pm to keep the same amount of hours), but the closer (3:30pm-9:30pm) got strep throat and everyone else couldn't or didn't want to work that shift.

First up:

A woman goes to the Ladies room to relieve herself. Somehow, and somewhere between sitting down and getting up she, managed to lose her keys. The amazing thing is that she new exactly where they were and she didn't see or here it happening. When I heard about this I was simply amazed that this happened. You know where they fell???

In the toilet!

How can you squat and loose your keys into the toilet. I sat there at the desk trying to figure this out, and I couldn't. First of all you shouldn't have them in your hands, because (this may sound a little gross) you will be wiping. Second, if you don't have pockets where else are you going to put them....

Women have purses, right??



The M.O.D. had to call Mr. Rooter to come in and get them out. Sure enough the plumber pulled the keys out using a snake. Then he supposedly cleaned them off, and brought them to the desk in a plastic bag. I didn't touch them. I was surprised to see that the car remote starter was still working.

Second: (same day)

We recently got some new cashiers. They completed there training and such, and finally they were put on register. They thought everyone was doing fine, until a customer came up to the desk and told us that she thinks that one of the cashiers didn't scan some of her groceries. Some of her groceries, being two bags worth about $22.00. So we think it's an isolated incident, and we tell the person in charge on the front end. An hour later it happens again, and this time it's not as much. Again we make it known that the cashier is making this error, and the person in charge does there best to get this girl to pay attention to what she is doing. Then it happens again, but this time it is in the customers favor, because she doesn't want the item anyways. Again I tell the person in charge, and he literally has to put a more experience cashier by her side to keep an eye on her.

Fast forward to the end of my shift. I am in the cashier's line, waiting to buy some dinner. I have a woman ahead of me, buying a few items. The cashier rings up something at 99 cents (you know where this is going right), and then swipes another item across the scanner. I just sat there and shook my head in my hand and didn't say a thing. The total was still 99 cents and she says this to the customer. Then the customer says, "there is something wrong, it should be more than that" (still shaking my head). Then the cashier says, "oh", and she takes the item out and scans it.

There is a song by Crystal Waters called "Listen For My Beep".

I think she needs to here it's chorus, because she really needs to listen for the registers beep!


At home


First up:

It has been brought to my attention that the creator of the artwork in my about me section isn't happy that I put it there. Ablah told me that she feels embarrassed that I put the picture there. I tried to explain to her that I did it because I loved the picture and that it was my way of showing affection, and thinking about her. A "portrait" if you will. In any case the picture will be coming down eventually, I just have to figure out what I am going to put there. I take such lousy pictures!

Second:

About three weeks ago, I watched the Tonight Show, with Jay Leno. On the show he had an Artist named KT Tunstall. I was impressed with her song Black Horse and the Cherry Tree. I was even more impressed (amazed) with her performance. While she was playing a guitar, she was also stomping on a tambourine, while she was playing another instrument in her mouth (when she wasn't singing). I went out on my next day off and bought her album. Right now the first song on the album is my favorite. It's called "Other side of the World". She's not Amel, but she got some skillz.